# The Hags of the Straight Dope **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 13, 2000, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460 "2000-05-13T23:00:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/201 "2000-05-16T15:12:43Z")
Swiddles– You don’t need Esprix for _that_ one. Even I, fashion impaired as I am can answer that: Animal print or animal skin _anything_ is totally five minutes ago. You really should get out of Vermont. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/202 "2000-05-16T15:38:52Z")
**SwimmingRiddles** wrote: > [@](#): > > Hey Esprix: animal print purses. Chic in a I-can-slay-leapards-with-the-flash-of-my-Visa kind of way, or tres’ 5 minutes ago? Depends on the situation. Personally, unless you’re walking the catwalk, I’d say forget it and go for something more subtle, maybe a bone-colored leather or black suede. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/203 "2000-05-16T15:40:40Z")
I’ve been lurking in the background, too polite to request membership in such a truly elite club. But then I thought, hey, isn’t that part of being a hag? Knowing when to step up and say, “Politeness, be damned!” My qualifications: I stand up for myself every single day amongst the ranks of men, as my chosen career is traditionally male dominated. Other technical female dopers can probably back me up on this one - I am a Network Engineer. Many is the time I have approached a customer to solve their computer issues, and been faced with this reaction: “ **YOU** are here to fix my computer?” I then solve their dilemmas with my deft keystrokes, leaving them breathless with awe and gratitude. (Modesty, be damned too.) I offer my technical services to the vast network needed to track all of the members of this notable clique. Plus, I can add to the International side, being another Canadian member - Ontario, this time. My co-workers, all male, would nominate me as a sexy hag (sexual harassment is a perk in this job, let me tell ya). I will be sending photographic evidence to support this claim later this evening, from my home PC. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/204 "2000-05-16T15:47:56Z")
I’m IN!! This is the coolest club ever. Seriously, this made my day! ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/205 "2000-05-16T15:50:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > A founding member and not an officer? \ No… It’s too late! I’ll just sit here off to the side with y’all ignoring me. > \*\* Green Bean - I need a personal assistant! You know, someone to help with costume changes, try out new dance moves on and massage sore muscles after a long day of choreographing. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/206 "2000-05-16T16:19:20Z")
You know, I’m seeing the story of my life here; I only make the ‘cute’ list through the sweet smiles and cavity-inducing visages of my KIDS. Perhaps a strict diet and exercise regimen and a candid session with the digital camera (cough, cough) will get me a slot in the ranks of ‘the sexy’ in a few months. Don’t s’pose there’s any specific criteria for re-application? At least I’m Official Hag Moloster. Unfortunately, a couple of threads in which I’m posted have…gasp…PROGRESSED, so my very TITLE is in jeopardy. I’ve no idea where to turn. The light…it’s getting faint… How do I make amends? I’m not giving up my fringed leather vest. Not for you, not for ANYONE, damn your eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Sentinel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sentinel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sentinel)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/207 "2000-05-16T16:27:39Z")
**Green Bean** You forgot Michi. She’s as cute as a button. ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/208 "2000-05-16T17:31:34Z")
If there is one thing I should have learned by now, it’s never leave the SDMB for more than twenty-four hours, or you’ll miss something. I’d therefore like to submit my (belated) application for hagginess. As far as qualifications go, I’m submitting my entire body of work on the SDMB. Barring that, I have a truly evil glare that can make anyone who approaches me with any intention and any degree of self-confidence slink off like a whipped puppy. Don’t make me use it… My picture (containing the merest hint of this glare) can be found on the Teeming Millions homepage. Thank you for your consideration, I humbly await your response. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/209 "2000-05-16T18:05:22Z")
> [@](#): > > You forgot Michi. She’s as cute as a button. I didn’t forget anyone. If a person wasn’t a part of the group of original Hags, they’ve gotta let me know that they’re interested! And, yes, I saw her picture somewhere. She is extremely cute. Arrgh! Back to the term paper… ---
**Author:** ![ChrisCTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/210 "2000-05-16T19:38:13Z")
I’d rejoice, but I don’t know if that’s proper hag behavior. Thanks for letting me in, Green Bean. I posted to lswote’s thread, but I wasn’t very haggish. Dunno if that makes me an OH or a CH. Lemme know, Madame Hag, OK? Goin’ to find something to bitch about. ---
**Author:** ![Suo\_Na](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@Suo\_Na](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suo_Na)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/211 "2000-05-16T20:01:11Z")
\*\* > [@](#): > > **Suo Na CH** : Thank you for the lovely photo. You shall be a **Gorgeous** Hag. But who’s the chick? > \*\* Mr Na will die laughing when I show him this. Even I don’t call him gorgeous! ---
**Author:** ![Suo\_Na](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@Suo\_Na](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suo_Na)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/212 "2000-05-16T20:04:38Z")
\*\* > [@](#): > > **Suo Na CH** : Thank you for the lovely photo. You shall be a **Gorgeous** Hag. But who’s the chick? > \*\* Mr Na will die laughing when I show him this. Even I don’t call him gorgeous! ---
**Author:** ![Suo\_Na](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@Suo\_Na](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suo_Na)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/213 "2000-05-16T20:10:43Z")
\*\* > [@](#): > > **Suo Na CH** : Thank you for the lovely photo. You shall be a **Gorgeous** Hag. But who’s the chick? > \*\* Mr Na will die laughing when I show him this. Even I don’t call him gorgeous! ---
**Author:** ![Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myron_Van_Horowitzski)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/214 "2000-05-16T20:19:39Z")
Can I be a hag-in-a-jar? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/215 "2000-05-16T20:53:44Z")
Ooo! I want to be a Fag Hag (or a Hag Fag)! Qualifications: I’m a fag. I can discourse on gender theory for five full minutes without taking a breath. Depending on the future political path my country takes, I want to be either an MP or an assassin when I grow up. I once began a chant at a protest against police brutality that translated “Big nightstick, little dick!” and my photo is here: [http://www.crosswinds.net/~montrealais/personal](http://www.crosswinds.net/~montrealais/personal) ---
**Author:** ![saucy\_potato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/edb3f5/32.png) [@saucy\_potato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saucy_potato)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/216 "2000-05-16T21:16:04Z")
I’m scannerless, therefore Hagless. ::sniff:: ---
**Author:** ![Suo\_Na](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@Suo\_Na](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suo_Na)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/217 "2000-05-16T21:47:57Z")
Whoa, my first multipost! Sorry about that, but the darn thing ran for ten minutes, trying to contact the board! And on a thread that doesn’t _need_ to be any longer, too. I should only post in the middle of the night. ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/218 "2000-05-16T23:34:03Z")
Wow i’m a certified hag, that was easy. Green Bean, i’ll send you a formal pic (I promise). Everyone else sent a pic (and I didn’t–well not to you, and it wasn’t formal), so I must conform. Check your mail, Green Bean. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2000, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/219 "2000-05-16T23:56:50Z")
Oooh, oooh, our numbers groweth! As Official Beart Hag (CH, classification Beautiful ::splort!:🙂 I heartily endorse NTG and Katt for inclusion! NTG is a prime-looker-with-attitude (and posting skills to die for), and Katt is a bright veteran of the trenches. Green Bean, bless you for this blast. ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2000, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/220 "2000-05-17T00:05:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Katt is a bright veteran of the trenches. > \*\* Thank you so much, **TVeblen**! 🙂 🙂 🙂 I am now looking for a pic to submit - look for it in your email, Green Bean :bowing in awe and humility: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460.md?page=12)