# The Hags of the Straight Dope **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 13, 2000, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460 "2000-05-13T23:00:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![jjjfishe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/46a35a/32.png) [@jjjfishe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjjfishe)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/141 "2000-05-15T13:49:30Z")
WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!! I’m not only a gorgeous hag, I’m also the spokesmodel. This is more than I could have ever imagined! ---
**Author:** ![the\_Scarlet\_Pimpernel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f1d935/32.png) [@the\_Scarlet\_Pimpernel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_Scarlet_Pimpernel)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/142 "2000-05-15T13:55:38Z")
I hereby apply for membership. As soon as I find a picture of me I like, I’ll send it to you. I’d like to think, however, that I’ll end up being a Sexy Hag. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/143 "2000-05-15T14:17:03Z")
Woohoo! I’m an officer! Thanks, Green Bean! ---
**Author:** ![Elthia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e274bd/32.png) [@Elthia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elthia)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/144 "2000-05-15T14:25:30Z")
_cackle_ Oh, I love this 🙂 **The Sexy** Elthia OH [/quote] I’m in there? Hey wait, have you seen my pics at all? I don’t remember posting them anywhere, or putting my site up anywhere. _laugh_ Or did you just look me up as a domain name and find me that way? 🙂 -Elthia ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/145 "2000-05-15T14:26:09Z")
Wow… I really regret not having time to turn my computer on last weekend!! This is what I missed out on… well I’m ready now! Put me in a category GreenBean. Here are a couple of photos for you to evaluate so I can be properly categorized and I would **love** to be an officer of some sort if you can think of something I’m worthy of doing. 🙂 [http://www.cwcm.net/rachelle.html](http://www.cwcm.net/rachelle.html) As for our name… I like Hassle of Hags and Haggle of Hags! ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/146 "2000-05-15T14:26:11Z")
Hey UncleBeer! Are you going to be a Hag, or are you going to join the Men of The SDMB, Uncut & Uncensored? Or both? Either way, just give us a pic. We wanna see you naked. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/147 "2000-05-15T14:34:48Z")
Green Bean, thank you for adding me to the list without having to submit paperwork! However, I think I deserve a special category - personally, I’m impressed by my psychic abilities. Can I be the resident “psychic”? (if you get my drift) Melanie ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/148 "2000-05-15T14:37:42Z")
All right, all right, I’ll bite. This topic is getting a bit long, and probably nobody reads this far anyways, so here goes: My qualifications: 1. Attempted to attend the CO Doper’s convention not once, but twice… and miserably failed both times. Once due to going on the wrong day, another due to evil Host at the bar who steadfastly refused to tell me if other Dopers were there (they were.) 2. I spend waaaaay too much time on this board when I should be working. 3. I’m brave enough to post links to pictures of myself on this board. [http://atlas.csd.net/~abadoozy/megrnd.jpg](http://atlas.csd.net/~abadoozy/megrnd.jpg) [http://atlas.csd.net/~abadoozy/hawaii.jpg](http://atlas.csd.net/~abadoozy/hawaii.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/149 "2000-05-15T15:34:18Z")
Hey Green Bean, I’m a hag, really I am. You don’t need a pic of me, we’ve already met. Can I join, pretty please? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/150 "2000-05-15T15:46:20Z")
> [@](#): > > Hey UncleBeer! Are you going to be a Hag, or are you going to join the Men of The SDMB, Uncut & Uncensored? Or both? Either way, just give us a pic. We wanna see you naked. I’m not sure what I wanna be; I haven’t grown up yet. Why don’t you come up to the clubhouse and you can _persuade_ me. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/151 "2000-05-15T16:34:42Z")
Athena sez: > [@](#): > > \*\* > > 1. Attempted to attend the CO Doper’s convention not once, but twice… and miserably failed both times. Once due to going on the wrong day, another due to evil Host at the bar who steadfastly refused to tell me if other Dopers were there (they were.) > \*\* You won’t be missed at the next one! We’ll keep our eyes open for ya! ---
**Author:** ![blueslady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@blueslady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blueslady)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/152 "2000-05-15T16:49:40Z")
Thank You, Thank you!!! As Musical director I will contribute my CD collection of over 500 CD’s (mostly blues) and all 300 records (blues again I’m afraid) not to mention my Victrola and 78’s (you guessed it, blues!) I also have a black cat bone, Mojo, John the Conch Roo (St. John the High Conqueror root) and sufficient Greis-Gries to go around if needed! ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/153 "2000-05-15T16:52:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Athena sez: > > > [@](#): > > > > \*\* > > > > 1. Attempted to attend the CO Doper’s convention not once, but twice… and miserably failed both times. Once due to going on the wrong day, another due to evil Host at the bar who steadfastly refused to tell me if other Dopers were there (they were.) > > \*\* > > You won’t be missed at the next one! We’ll keep our eyes open for ya! > \*\* Thank you, Mr. Cynical. Now that I posted my pic, you guys can spend all your time at the dopefest scanning the bar, looking for me! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/154 "2000-05-15T17:02:28Z")
I will wager that there will be at least a couple people doing just that 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/155 "2000-05-15T17:53:19Z")
Ha! Classify me, baby! Sure, I’m a boy, but is that really enough for me? Then again, I’m cute as can be, but Dr. Boyfriend thinks I’m sexy. So? 😃 Qualifications? I’m the **Gay Guy** for God’s sake! 😃 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/156 "2000-05-15T18:04:35Z")
Hey, UncleBeer, as historian and folklorist of the Hags, I can give you many reasons to join. BTW, it ain’t that easy to get to your clubhouse, what with all those little “surprizes” on the way up. The trip-wired wasp’s nest was especially tricky, but my hagitude prevailed. :::Looking around::: Wow! This is amazing. I haven’t seen anything like this since the Amsterdam Torture Museum! Where did you GET this stuff? How the hell did you get it up here? Except for the Massage-O-Lounge, it… :::SLAM::: _click_ Uh-oooooooo ---
**Author:** ![monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monster)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/157 "2000-05-15T20:37:12Z")
Hi Green Bean! I want to be a hag too, if I meet the qualifications. Ummm, let’s see… I’m really nice and sometimes funny. I DO come off better in real life than on the boards, but I enjoy this board very much and I want to belong!! 🙂 [http://photomail.filmworks.com/sharing/image.asp?idx=9&1=IrAhyQA0TiV8AC9AeR5J&2=0&fromroll=true&Key=6434894639080501](http://photomail.filmworks.com/sharing/image.asp?idx=9&1=IrAhyQA0TiV8AC9AeR5J&2=0&fromroll=true&Key=6434894639080501) I am the one on the right, with the beer. Amanda ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/158 "2000-05-15T20:49:22Z")
Having already posted a photo of my fabulous fizz to **techchick** I can’t withhold it from the Hags. I formally request admission into the boys auxiliary. My primary qualification is having organized the Great Puget Sound Straight Dope Get-Together and having (almost) no one show up. That’s pretty hagaristic, IMHO. Other major accomplishments: I saw through **TVeblen’s** gender-bending identity a long time ago. But I’m still troubled by the beard. I made **Ayesha** PHP. **Shayna** said I won the worst pain thread. (Hint: Search for “Preparation H”.) I’m one of **Canthearya’s** favorite posters. If she remembers, that is. (Oh yeah, I meant to include you too…umm…) I can never remember **Sweating Wriggles** right name. **Swilling Diddle’s? Slimy Dimples? Smelly Pimples?** ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/159 "2000-05-15T21:24:05Z")
I’m honored indeed to have been named Masseur of the SD Hags. JimB, if the Head Honcho Hag OKs it, I can definitely use an assistant - them’s more backs than I can give justice to in an evening. Also see below. purplebear - being the married kinda guy, only my wife gets the **full** massage! I’ll be happy to rub your back, neck, and feet; maybe JimB will take care of anything else you want rubbed. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2000, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460/160 "2000-05-15T21:25:53Z")
Gorgeous? Why, thank you, Green Bean. You are much too kind 🙂 I am so honored to be a member of such an amazing group of ladies (and men…I didn’t forget you guys). BTW, I vote for “Haggis of Hags” or “Haggle of Hags.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hags-of-the-straight-dope/19460.md?page=9)