# The Haiku Master says: "You want a piece of me?"

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-master-says-you-want-a-piece-of-me/16318>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [April 18, 2000, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-master-says-you-want-a-piece-of-me/16318 "2000-04-18T20:53:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\
**Post date:** [April 23, 2000, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-master-says-you-want-a-piece-of-me/16318/81 "2000-04-23T16:04:00Z")

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I apologize  
In the first line of first rhyme  
Excess syllables

Two thousand years past  
Great Chinese unifier  
Emperor Supreme

I mixed up the lines  
Too early in the morning  
Dsylexic Haiku!

* * *

Eagles may soar free and proud, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.

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**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\
**Post date:** [April 24, 2000, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-master-says-you-want-a-piece-of-me/16318/82 "2000-04-24T05:58:00Z")

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Big bad pink wiener  
I should not touch you this much  
You tempt me, tiny man.

Purple tall fun boy  
You stand up and dance often  
Why awake in class?

Furry brow, bushy  
Pluck that fat bastard, I say  
Look like mad Gremlin

Sorry, I don’t know where these came from.

* * *

You can’t accidently create a handicapped baby whilst smoking pot. - **Coldfire**

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**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\
**Post date:** [April 24, 2000, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-master-says-you-want-a-piece-of-me/16318/83 "2000-04-24T12:34:00Z")

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Bad Irish whisky  
Instead of drinking saki  
Lead to bad Haiku

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**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\
**Post date:** [April 24, 2000, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-master-says-you-want-a-piece-of-me/16318/84 "2000-04-24T12:57:00Z")

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I bow to the Chef.  
Spitting coffee on keyboard,  
I add to my sig:

* * *

“I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig!  
My iguana’s sick.  
He’s all floppy. Could he have  
Reptile dysfunction?  
-Chef Troy, Haiku Master

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