# The Haiku rant thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 29, 2006, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645 "2006-08-29T10:41:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/1 "2006-08-29T10:41:26Z")
Inspired by the many [tiny rant](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=385617) threads. This is the Haiku rant thread. * * * Girlfriend gone away Damn her family in Spain I’ll sex her Tuesday * * * Her chihuahuas piss My carpet is a ruin Number for Servepro? * * * My job is boring Screw you, mine’s much worse than yours. All say the same thing * * * DSL is slow But BellSouth says it is fast Only when it works I can write more, but I want to hear yours. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/2 "2006-08-29T10:56:26Z")
[QUOTE=A Monkey With a Gun] Girlfriend gone away Damn her family in Spain I’ll sex her Tuesday [/QUOTE] Paging Dr. Freud… ---
**Author:** ![buns3000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c89c15/32.png) [@buns3000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buns3000)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/3 "2006-08-29T11:01:50Z")
Get speeding ticket Fuck the Victorian cops’ Hidden camera ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/4 "2006-08-29T11:08:11Z")
Realize, **Twickster** A cigar is a cigar So said Doctor Freud ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/5 "2006-08-29T12:45:25Z")
Ditzy co-worker Get the fuck away from me I mean good morning ---
**Author:** ![dbuzman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de0a6/32.png) [@dbuzman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dbuzman)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/6 "2006-08-29T12:54:28Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] Paging Dr. Freud… [/QUOTE] Only if that was a slip. I have a feeling it was on purpose. ---
**Author:** ![Electrical\_Storm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac8455/32.png) [@Electrical\_Storm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electrical_Storm)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/7 "2006-08-29T13:53:56Z")
I stumble into the office in need of coffee make with the brew! Early morning not even chickens awake Yet I’m driving to work. ---
**Author:** ![Jenny\_Haniver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Jenny\_Haniver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenny_Haniver)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/8 "2006-08-29T14:00:42Z")
Dead car battery Mosquito of the garage Sucks money and time ---
**Author:** ![Dottygumdrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Dottygumdrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dottygumdrop)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/9 "2006-08-29T14:19:58Z")
Damn morning sickness Growing foetus makes me ill When will it stop? STOP! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/10 "2006-08-29T14:35:08Z")
Bathroom in hallway So many people around Please don’t hear me fart ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/11 "2006-08-29T14:45:07Z")
WHILST PONDERING THINGS TO DO AFTER WORKING ALL DAY LONG AT THE OFFICE… It’s only Tuesday Laundry and dishes pile high Work, then housework? Ah… Dog is still peeing She likes the hallway the best Sometimes my bathroom Visa bill–shocking Have to dip into savings Damn you, beads (shiny!) Pile of paperwork No, not just at the office Must not spend all my time [here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/) Must pay bills, file stuff And look at my ‘things to do’ Oh, and make dinner Procrastination So easy with this world wide web Woe, for my “novel”! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/12 "2006-08-29T15:04:06Z")
Car died. The reason? Fuel pump’s shot. Mechanic says Be done “tomorrow.” Meanwhile I drive a Rental pickup. Every day (Five now) charges mount. My own car: thrifty. Sips gasoline. Pickup chugs Like frat boy with keg. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/13 "2006-08-29T15:22:10Z")
Humid in August Head cold won’t go away Dripping snot on shirt ---
**Author:** ![indecisive1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/41988e/32.png) [@indecisive1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/indecisive1)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/14 "2006-08-29T15:33:02Z")
Feel really like shit The bad book we must finish Too late to stop now ---
**Author:** ![Electrical\_Storm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac8455/32.png) [@Electrical\_Storm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electrical_Storm)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/15 "2006-08-29T15:55:48Z")
The food poisoning blues Why did I eat that? Lost eight pounds Not all bad! ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/16 "2006-08-29T16:04:32Z")
Sadistic squirrels That’s two hammocks you’ve chewed through Is rope so tasty? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/17 "2006-08-29T16:29:34Z")
Cell phone chirps, Ba-Deeep! Hello? Can you hear me now? “Sorry, service not found.” ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/18 "2006-08-29T17:50:12Z")
Dammitall, people! Haiku line syllables are Five, seven, then five. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Marathon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Marathon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marathon)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/19 "2006-08-29T18:00:30Z")
Peoples Energy: Worst gas company EVER! Gross incompetence. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/20 "2006-08-29T18:07:25Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] Dammitall, people! Haiku line syllables are Five, seven, then five. :mad: [/QUOTE] Yeah, I caught my error on review. Try this: Cell phone chirps, Ba-Deeep! Hello? Can you hear me now? BEEP! “Service not found.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645.md?page=2)