# The Haiku rant thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 29, 2006, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645 "2006-08-29T10:41:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/41 "2006-08-29T20:45:18Z")
We paid beaucoup bucks Automation will not work Like we need it to. Tech support is dumb Mistakes on air are plenty Work, goddammit, work! ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/42 "2006-08-29T20:55:04Z")
[QUOTE=Excalibre] Yesterday is gone Like the warmth of summertime. Bitch, I will cut you! [/QUOTE] Dressing up your haiku With old Conan catchphrases? You are no Pimpbot. I laugh at your threats Long winters will leave you weak And pastier still. ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/43 "2006-08-29T21:08:43Z")
Being P.O.A My elderly grandparent More work than you think Fuck you, New York Bank Countless hoops I’m jumping through Just to change address With each document Medalion Sig Guarantee Damned pain in the ass Dad, you’re in heaven You don’t have to deal with this I curse your cremains I know you’re watching See? You raised a good daughter Good granddaughter, too Granny, I love you This is why I work so hard Please stop complaining Your nurse call button Not a microphone, ok? Quit speaking to it After all of this Best advice to everyone: Die before mind goes And lastly, I hope Karma points shower on me Cancel some bad luck But seriously, I reap rewards in form of Sharing her last years Ahhh. Very cathartic. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/44 "2006-08-29T21:22:28Z")
Stupid summer storm. I go out to bring in chairs – Heavens open up. Why does every rush transcript have a witness with thick Chinese accent? ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/45 "2006-08-29T21:27:47Z")
Clogging the servers Your pictures of Christmas fun Delete them now please Three point seven gig Your home directory files Weed them or I will Silly users all Think I don’t read their email Send to: CEO ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/46 "2006-08-29T22:48:00Z")
[QUOTE=Giraffe] Meh, a good haiku doesn’t artificially break up sentences [/QUOTE] Giraffe understands the traditional haiku. John has a new friend! ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/47 "2006-08-29T22:51:50Z")
My car needs new brakes Cost? Over two hundred bucks I can’t afford it Summer is too hot Can’t wait for fall and winter I’m tired of sweating Gas prices are high Near three dollars a gallon When will they go down? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/48 "2006-08-29T23:45:59Z")
Dammit, [Fred](http://community.webshots.com/photo/549922534/2096184150000735275UqWVdw)! Will you Stop threatening [Sophie](http://community.webshots.com/photo/109844880/1109847275000735275kozEdk)? She’s Growling again, jerk! Ha! The biter bit [Sally](http://community.webshots.com/photo/549922534/2531597230000735275FwjvDl) comes round the corner Sinks fangs in Fred’s neck. Fred retreats to [perch](http://community.webshots.com/photo/547893536/2604506760000735275jrJSYj) Atop the bookcase. Folly. [Sally jumps up too.](http://community.webshots.com/photo/547893536/2417061480000735275lFfBEP) [Hey, you two – stop it!](http://community.webshots.com/photo/547893536/2797071270000735275HgPWLF) I’m trying to work here, and Don’t need [distractions.](http://community.webshots.com/photo/547893536/2677717890000735275weQhtT) ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/49 "2006-08-29T23:54:39Z")
What did you expect? Instructions are not like fall leaves, To be swept aside. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/50 "2006-08-29T23:57:09Z")
Login time is down Must start early to make up Fuck! An hour early. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/51 "2006-08-30T00:36:32Z")
Summer turns to fall Great time to begin new job CALL, motherfuckers! Clean Flush is purchased Whiz quiz studying begun Call NOW, stupid jerks! Do not delay more Happiness is a warm gun Like leaves you will fall. Hold on a moment, two weeks off in August is pretty cool–I’ll chill! ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/52 "2006-08-30T00:43:38Z")
Haiku sucks bigtime Limericks is better form Major league Assholes! ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/53 "2006-08-30T02:10:18Z")
Haiku rants you want? Too few syllables to rant I’ll just say ‘fuck you’ ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/54 "2006-08-30T02:26:51Z")
No more Deadwood now; Fuck HBO cocksuckers. Sopranos reruns. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/55 "2006-08-30T02:31:22Z")
[QUOTE=Giraffe] Dressing up your haiku With old Conan catchphrases? You are no Pimpbot. I laugh at your threats Long winters will leave you weak And pastier still. [/QUOTE] I am no pimpbot? Sure as winter fades to spring, Shit be on, spotty. Giraffes are spotty. I needed two syllables. Shut up. Um, summer. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/56 "2006-08-30T02:34:09Z")
Things start to look up I am logged into my phone Five minutes 'twixt calls ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/57 "2006-08-30T03:07:12Z")
[QUOTE=Excalibre] I am no pimpbot? Sure as winter fades to spring, Shit be on, spotty. Giraffes are spotty. I needed two syllables. Shut up. Um, summer. [/QUOTE] 😕 WTF, **Exy**? “Giraffe” has two syllables. Your brain been spring-cleaned? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/58 "2006-08-30T03:09:30Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] Dammitall, people! Haiku line syllables are Five, seven, then five. :mad: [/QUOTE] I swear, this drear morn I counted each syllable Using my fingers Although I forgot The reference to nature As vital as rain. ---
**Author:** ![threnodyangelfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@threnodyangelfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threnodyangelfire)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/59 "2006-08-30T03:12:49Z")
Little yellow friend Bites me with vicious sharp beak I will squash you, bird! ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/60 "2006-08-30T03:25:27Z")
Wireless portal down The bits refuse to fly, so Offline I am now [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645.md?page=4)