# The Haiku rant thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 29, 2006, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645 "2006-08-29T10:41:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/61 "2006-08-30T03:25:39Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] 😕 WTF, **Exy**? “Giraffe” has two syllables. Your brain been spring-cleaned? :dubious: [/QUOTE] That’s “Excalibre”. And yeah, I got that, and yet . . . “Giraffe” seemed too nice. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/62 "2006-08-30T04:01:07Z")
[QUOTE=Squink] Haiku sucks bigtime Limericks is better form Major league Assholes! [/QUOTE] Uncultered Gai-Jin Irish clovers wilt in Fall Soft stems keep sheep safe Limerick Rant threads Lick my left one in summer My boot up your ass ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/63 "2006-08-30T04:35:22Z")
[QUOTE=Excalibre] I am no pimpbot? Sure as winter fades to spring, Shit be on, spotty. Giraffes are spotty. I needed two syllables. Shut up. Um, summer. [/QUOTE] What’s wrong with “asshole”? It fits like an autumn coat Spotty is just sad. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/64 "2006-08-30T04:44:08Z")
[QUOTE=Giraffe] What’s wrong with “asshole”? It fits like an autumn coat Spotty is just sad. [/QUOTE] “Spotty” makes you sad? Poor **Giraffe**! Spots is what you’ve Got, any season. **Excalibre** , yeh, I knew that, but needed two Syllables, not four. Sniff… Why so formal? I thought we were friends! Winter Bleakness fills my soul. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![hawksgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@hawksgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawksgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/65 "2006-08-30T04:47:13Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] Sniff… Why so formal? I thought we were friends! Winter Bleakness fills my soul. ☹ [/QUOTE] Cheer up EdTedFred! Your name parses down nicely and keeps a spring time rhyme ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/66 "2006-08-30T04:51:46Z")
My car broke down too Three thou to fix my hoopty now It’s epidemic! When shopping for food Keep cart and bod out my way I will crush you flat At least you have change Of seasons, bonfires and leaves We just have hot sun ---
**Author:** ![hawksgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@hawksgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawksgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/67 "2006-08-30T04:58:36Z")
Apologies all last post, like autumn tree branch of leaves, lacked its rant End of summer brings End of college town leases Friends homeless for night People on the move Like migrating birds each spring You can’t use my truck ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/68 "2006-08-30T08:22:32Z")
Alcohol. Cell phone Great inventions on their own. Drunk dialed. Disgrace ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/69 "2006-08-30T09:42:20Z")
Insomnia- I Think tomorrow I will be irritable. damn. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/70 "2006-08-30T10:09:27Z")
Summer is coming Sunshine outside all day long Winter at my desk. My mid-week weekend Two days - Tomorrow, Friday Ugh. Weekend callers. ---
**Author:** ![buns3000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c89c15/32.png) [@buns3000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buns3000)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/71 "2006-08-30T10:58:08Z")
US fuel price high? Come down to Australia and see what high is ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/72 "2006-08-30T13:23:25Z")
**Hai - jackings!** 1) Our good friend **Excalibre** That poetic dabbler Doth invective in haiku spew While the cool kids do clerihew, _nu_? 2) The syllable-headed ones, endlessly counting the beats of their phrases like beans in a jar caring little for reason and nothing for rhyme their grasp of words stops at how many there are ``` These silly bull-headed ones, spending words meanly the better to make meaning hard to obtain a ladybug crawls, a raindrop does....*something*.... And springtime has ended. Hey, look, ma -- no brain! An Horatian attack-ode, savaging haiku? That's something no poet would ever expect Pindar (the wimp) said "Soup, this form can't *be* rude!" "Wanna bet?" I sneered -- folks, I think I'll collect. ``` 1. Shall I compare haiku to moldy tripe? For Edmund Spenser’d sit up in his grave, read one, then use the parchment scrap to wipe a better poem from his anal cave ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/73 "2006-08-30T13:38:51Z")
**The King of Soup** sneered at the verse Of haiku-ing Dopers. What’s worse, He larded his speech With pastiche 'pon pastiche Of great poets, to call down a curse On the heads of haiku-ers. But damn! Why should clerihew, ode, or iamb Sneer at Japanese form As an ab of the norm? This is cultural imperialism, Sam! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/74 "2006-08-30T14:18:56Z")
This kind of rhymes: Oh shit! The big shots are going to play now. I quit! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/75 "2006-08-30T15:07:03Z")
_Pastiche_?! You’ve accused this poor humble poet of verse that’s been _used_?! Explain – and right quick – Your haiku-fan sass: You _don’t_ want me double dactyl-ing your ass. Seriously, what do you want – a sestina in classic Italian, with verses that mean a Rennaissance in the poetic arena? **Eddie** – don’t _be_ a poetic hyena. ---
**Author:** ![Electrical\_Storm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac8455/32.png) [@Electrical\_Storm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electrical_Storm)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/76 "2006-08-30T15:14:35Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] Dammitall, people! Haiku line syllables are Five, seven, then five. :mad: [/QUOTE] I fuck up haiku **EddyTeddyFreddy** says I hang head in shame :o I’ll get it right this time. 😃 Listen, clueless bird the world is not your toilet Plop! is bird’s response Mind your own business ye office busybody back to your cube, bitch! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/77 "2006-08-30T16:29:45Z")
Calm yourself, **Soup King**. Be thou gazpacho this day Let the chili chill. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/78 "2006-08-30T16:50:41Z")
Oh, It is on now. Spring light brings monkey warfare Limericks be damned But Monkey needs nap Work too much sleep odd hours Morning victory ---
**Author:** ![indecisive1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/41988e/32.png) [@indecisive1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/indecisive1)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/79 "2006-08-30T17:43:50Z")
Tempers grow hotter Volcano will sputter Excalibre. Giraffe. Undies in freezer for about twenty minutes relieves cockiness ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/80 "2006-08-30T18:13:56Z")
[QUOTE=A Monkey With a Gun] Uncultered Gai-Jin Irish clovers wilt in Fall Soft stems keep sheep safe Limerick Rant threads Lick my left one in summer My boot up your ass [/QUOTE] Whole Foods sushi sign: Genji Sushi. I misread as Gaijin Sushi. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645.md?page=5)