# The Haiku rant thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 29, 2006, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645 "2006-08-29T10:41:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![newcrasher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/81 "2006-08-30T20:09:52Z")
Bush’s god loves all Someone set us up the bomb Now bullet love rules Jesus was quite clear Pubs support war and tax cuts Jesus is confused Gay love and shellfish Both are abomination No shrimp in my church! We will not retreat Honor the dead by dying Mom’s tears have no weight Rodney King was wise Can’t we all just get along? Arrested again Love to the muslims Did Mohamed say kill me? I am just asking ---
**Author:** ![newcrasher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/82 "2006-08-30T20:16:42Z")
Bush’s god loves all Someone set us up the bomb Now bullet love rules Jesus was quite clear Pubs support war and tax cuts Jesus is confused Gay love and shellfish Both are abomination No shrimp in my church! We will not retreat Honor the dead by dying Mom’s tears have no weight Rodney King was wise Can’t we all just get along? Arrested again Love to the muslims Did Mohamed say kill me? I am just asking ---
**Author:** ![newcrasher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/83 "2006-08-30T20:18:38Z")
Double posts are fun In case you missed the first time Double posts are fun ---
**Author:** ![newcrasher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/84 "2006-08-30T20:37:26Z")
I jog too early My bowels have not yet moved Shit on neighbors lawn God created strepp It still fucking hurts like hell God gave birth to pain I built a castle With hard work and faithfulness Rain makes me fearful Your dry tongue is cracked Please drink some of my water My soul begs you drink ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/85 "2006-08-30T21:36:02Z")
[QUOTE=indecisive1] Tempers grow hotter Volcano will sputter Excalibre. Giraffe. Undies in freezer for about twenty minutes relieves cockiness [/QUOTE] One spring day, perhaps, You’ll learn to count syllables. Until then, sadness. ---
**Author:** ![newcrasher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/86 "2006-08-30T21:44:09Z")
[QUOTE=Excalibre] One spring day, perhaps, You’ll learn to count syllables. Until then, sadness. [/QUOTE] 5 7 5 is not a boxed room of syllables this one is four ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/87 "2006-08-30T22:19:26Z")
Cute little kitten Keeps peeing on the damn bed Does she miss the pound? Pic of cute kitten Won’t motherfucking upload No “awww!” for Dopers ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/88 "2006-08-31T04:39:15Z")
Favorite dish Once loved, now tastes different Change of seasonings ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/89 "2006-08-31T04:47:49Z")
Hurrah! Got car back. Sigh. Paid for repairs and rental. Groan: Needs more work done. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/90 "2006-08-31T04:51:21Z")
Urge to play music And drink much vodka last night Leads to pain today ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/91 "2006-08-31T09:01:30Z")
Dooper haiku threads Some weak, some entertaining Steal time from my job ---
**Author:** ![indecisive1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/41988e/32.png) [@indecisive1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/indecisive1)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/92 "2006-08-31T09:56:22Z")
[Quote=Indecisive1] Tempers grow hotter Volcano will sputter Excalibre. Giraffe. Undies in freezer for about twenty minutes relieves cockiness [/Quote] [QUOTE=Excalibre] One spring day, perhaps, You’ll learn to count syllables. Until then, sadness. [/QUOTE] Oops I goofed up nitpicking Doper points out five curse words go here ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/93 "2006-08-31T20:14:05Z")
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK Newly repaired car goes dead While turning corner! Luck: No cars hit me. Pushed in neutral to the curb. Towed back to shop. FUCK. Did I mention: FUCK!? Mechanic investigates Car won’t stall for him. Theory of moment: Could be defective new part Replacing old pump. One-year warranty Will cover if that’s it – IF. If not? FUCK FUCK FUCK. Sigh. Back to rental. More bills, more hassle, more urge To scream. Or just say: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY-FUCKILY FUCK Drat this gosh-darn mess. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/94 "2006-09-01T12:20:24Z")
Car window is down And determined to stay there Oh no, deja’ vu This was expensive To fix last time it happened Just jerry-rig it ETF, I’m glad You’re okay; let’s both say “fuck” My Saturn sister ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/95 "2006-09-01T13:40:08Z")
[QUOTE=Dung Beetle] ETF, I’m glad You’re okay; let’s both say “fuck” My Saturn sister [/QUOTE] Your sis from Saturn? That is very curious. Can I fuck her, too? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/96 "2006-09-01T14:03:02Z")
Good morning, Weird One You certainly have an apt name Alien fucker 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/97 "2006-09-01T14:04:22Z")
Whoops, apparently I’m not counting very accurately today! ---
**Author:** ![newcrasher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/98 "2006-09-01T14:26:40Z")
[QUOTE=Dung Beetle] Whoops, apparently I’m not counting very accurately today! [/QUOTE] Hi Dung Beetle First line has four syllables Lend me one of yours 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/99 "2006-09-01T14:37:19Z")
Can’t do Haiku Just need to say Edtedfred That fred cat of yours is my new crabby hero. What a face. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2006, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645/100 "2006-09-01T14:53:03Z")
[QUOTE=newcrasher] Hi Dung Beetle First line has four syllables Lend me one of yours 😉 [/QUOTE] A haiku-writing beetle’s new quirk: Syllable-counting to shirk Along came newcrasher And proceeded to trash her So she decided to get back to work. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-haiku-rant-thread/370645.md?page=6)