The Hamburglar has been executed

As Mayor of McDonaldland, it is my duty to report that at 12.00 am March 1st, 2003, The Hamburglar was put to death by leathal injection. The Hamburglar was convicted of 1,032,343 counts of theft and grand larceny. Under the new three strikes and you die policy, he was let loose of the mortal coil. He was survived by his cousin, the Theif from Cookie Crisps.

I think the execution of criminals falls a bit outside of the duties and responsibilities entitled to you by the office of mayor. What’s not outside those duties and responsibilities is a full-scale investigation into why I ordered two breakfast burritos and paid for two breakfast burritos yet only got one breakfast burrito last week.

You wanted two breakfast burritos?!?!?

And you’re bitching about getting one!

Speaking on behalf of your colon as well as your entire digestive system - thank you.

I heard the Hamburglar died in 1997 from hemolytic uremic syndrome, a complication from E. coli poisoning. Are you sure you didn’t execute the Trix rabbit by mistake?

Locked. For obvious reasons.