# The handyman is a convicted sex offender. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 29, 2012, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724 "2012-07-29T02:27:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/81 "2012-07-29T22:42:11Z")
> [@Crime\_Scene](#): > > I also believe I should probably contact neighbors who have two younger children; they live about a quarter of a mile from me. I know them ok, but not real well. How would I tell them this without looking like a complete weirdo/idiot? I live in a very conservative redneck area, I’d hate for word to get out he is working for me and him get harassed when people go by. Yes, you have to tell them something; a quarter of a mile is not that far. You have to tell them that he was recently released from prison, and the children should be supervised closely until he leaves. > [@Crime\_Scene](#): > > The one thing that does make me raise my eyebrows is the fact that he is dating a girl that is much younger than himself, so I imagine the attraction to younger people is still there. No, much younger is not at all the same as prepubescent. ---
**Author:** ![Crime\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e495f1/32.png) [@Crime\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crime_Scene)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/82 "2012-07-29T22:44:07Z")
> [@j666](#): > > Yes, you have to tell them something; a quarter of a mile is not that far. > > You have to tell them that he was recently released from prison, and the children should be supervised closely until he leaves. > No, much younger is not at all the same as prepubescent. You’re right about the last part. ---
**Author:** ![Crime\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e495f1/32.png) [@Crime\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crime_Scene)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/83 "2012-07-29T22:45:37Z")
> [@Capt\_Kirk](#): > > I agree with **Broomstick** he has paid his price and deserves a chance. My Brother is an ex con, while I cannot condone criminal behavior, I can accept that they have done their time and the slate is clean. The Man is eating rice and peas does he need to be humiliated any further? IMHO you should let him know you know and give him more work when you need him again. It is taking a chance but he has been a good worker thus far, can you judge him as the person he is today instead of the person he was 22 years ago? That said you must be careful and trust your instincts and frankly your wife. Good luck, sometimes ignorance is bliss. > > **CAPT** I agree, Capt Kirk. It kinda broke my heart because he is really a hard worker. He actually just showed up about 10 minutes ago to drop off some materials. He is over there working right now in the heat. Sigh… ---
**Author:** ![Crime\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e495f1/32.png) [@Crime\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crime_Scene)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/84 "2012-07-29T22:47:14Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > The guy paid his debt to society. If you have no kids and no reason to suspect him of anything, finish the job, pay him, and move on. > > The only thing you’re “enabling” by hiring him to do honest work is more honest work. > > I guess that’s an unpopular opinion but there it is. RickJay, I believe you are right. I have quite a bit more work and am leaning more and more towards employing him. None of my rentals are near schools or playgrounds, so I should be alright. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/85 "2012-07-29T22:54:11Z")
Please do. And at the end, do let him know that you employed him despite finding out these things. It may give him some more hope. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/86 "2012-07-29T22:57:44Z")
> [@gamerunknown](#): > > If child rape prohibits one from working ever again [snip] It doesn’t. It just prohibits them from working for me ever again. To the OP, I say simply DTMFA. Fuck him. ---
**Author:** ![Crime\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e495f1/32.png) [@Crime\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crime_Scene)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/87 "2012-07-29T23:03:14Z")
> [@Confused dart cum](#): > > Please do. > > And at the end, do let him know that you employed him despite finding out these things. It may give him some more hope. You think I should bring it up? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/88 "2012-07-29T23:16:54Z")
Ask yourself if bringing it up serves any constructive purpose. If it’s relevant - say, he asks why you won’t hire him for a specific purpose and the reason is proximity to a place where there are children then I’d be honest with him about not hiring because you are aware of his past and don’t feel comfortable putting him in close proximity to kids. Just keep it factual, he’ll understand, and if he’s actively trying to keep out of trouble he might even thank you for helping him adhere to any restrictions he may have (or he might be pissed at missing out on the opportunity, but then remind him you’ve hired him for other work where that is not an issue and you’re open to employing him in the future where it is not an issue). If the matter isn’t relevant to the job or the conversation at hand then why bring it up? If he brings it up, or it drops in conversation, say you’re aware of his past problems and leave it at that. No need to dwell on it. No need to be emotional. I am certain he is painfully aware of how society regards his past actions. ---
**Author:** ![Crime\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e495f1/32.png) [@Crime\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crime_Scene)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/89 "2012-07-29T23:20:23Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Ask yourself if bringing it up serves any constructive purpose. > > If it’s relevant - say, he asks why you won’t hire him for a specific purpose and the reason is proximity to a place where there are children then I’d be honest with him about not hiring because you are aware of his past and don’t feel comfortable putting him in close proximity to kids. Just keep it factual, he’ll understand, and if he’s actively trying to keep out of trouble he might even thank you for helping him adhere to any restrictions he may have (or he might be pissed at missing out on the opportunity, but then remind him you’ve hired him for other work where that is not an issue and you’re open to employing him in the future where it is not an issue). > > If the matter isn’t relevant to the job or the conversation at hand then why bring it up? > > If he brings it up, or it drops in conversation, say you’re aware of his past problems and leave it at that. No need to dwell on it. No need to be emotional. I am certain he is painfully aware of how society regards his past actions. Well put, Broomstick. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/90 "2012-07-29T23:22:47Z")
> [@Crime\_Scene](#): > > You think I should bring it up? No. That’d be patronizing. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/91 "2012-07-29T23:30:29Z")
It’s been pointed out already, but sexual contact =/= rape. In Missouri, sexual contact is: [QUOTE=V.A.M.S. 566.010] any touching of another person with the genitals or any touching of the genitals or anus of another person, or the breast of a female person, or such touching through the clothing, for the purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire of any person. [/QUOTE] Not that fondling a 6 year old isn’t a terrible crime, just that he probably didn’t do what he’s being accused of here. Anyway, it was 22 years ago. At some point, either his debt to society is paid or he should have been executed. > [@Crime\_Scene](#): > > You think I should bring it up? No. I think you should treat him like you would any other handyman. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/92 "2012-07-29T23:35:54Z")
Would you trust this man if you were the six year old, violated by a teenager old enough to drive, and nearly old enough to serve? Would you continue to allow him in your home if the six year old were your child? I’m all about forget and forgive for most transgressions, but whatever he did to a six year kid that warranted jail time would be difficult for me to put aside. And what offense has he committed recently that he has been paroled for? And he cracks jokes casually about being on parole? For those shouting live and let live, what is it about these circumstances that inspires a second chance? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/93 "2012-07-29T23:36:53Z")
> [@Crime\_Scene](#): > > You think I should bring it up? No, for a number of noble reasons, like showing compassion and forgiveness and non-patronizingness, and treating everyone like a human being. And one cowardly one: do you really want to give him a reason to be angry with you? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/94 "2012-07-29T23:39:47Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > And what offense has he committed recently that he has been paroled for? And he cracks jokes casually about being on parole? For those shouting live and let live, what is it about these circumstances that inspires a second chance? He hasn’t committed any offense recently that he has been paroled for. ---
**Author:** ![Nicest\_of\_the\_Damned](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8baadc/32.png) [@Nicest\_of\_the\_Damned](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicest_of_the_Damned)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/95 "2012-07-29T23:39:49Z")
> [@Crime\_Scene](#): > > You think I should bring it up? I don’t think it is _necessarily_ a bad idea. He might be relieved to have it out in the open. And whatever he did, I am sure it wasn’t good but it might no be as bad as what you can imagine. He might _want_ an opportunity to explain himself. I remember reading on these boards several years ago about a guy who grabbed the arm of a 14 year old girl after she ran in front of his car and for that had to register as a sex offender. That always makes me wonder what the full story is when I hear someone is a registered sex offender. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/96 "2012-07-29T23:46:42Z")
> [@Nicest\_of\_the\_Damned](#): > > I don’t think it is _necessarily_ a bad idea. He might be relieved to have it out in the open. And whatever he did, I am sure it wasn’t good but it might no be as bad as what you can imagine. He might _want_ an opportunity to explain himself. He’s a convicted felon. They all have “explanations”. Maybe this guy is one of the few that will be telling the truth, but the OP will have no way of knowing. ---
**Author:** ![Crime\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e495f1/32.png) [@Crime\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crime_Scene)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/97 "2012-07-29T23:46:45Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > He hasn’t committed any offense recently that he has been paroled for. I think he _is_ on parole for failure to pay child support, at least that is what he said. I don’t want to patronize him and I’ve been very nice to him. We even made some supper for him last night after he had worked all day at another job and only had rice to eat. I honestly believe in forgiveness and that people can change. But, you know how it is with offenses against children, especially sexually. It seems that a lot of those urges are beyond that individuals control, which makes it particularly scary and alarming. ---
**Author:** ![Crime\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e495f1/32.png) [@Crime\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crime_Scene)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/98 "2012-07-29T23:47:45Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > He’s a convicted felon. They all have “explanations”. Maybe this guy is one of the few that will be telling the truth, but the OP will have no way of knowing. Exactly. That is why I think that me bringing it up to him would be rather counter-productive. You know? ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/99 "2012-07-29T23:47:54Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > He hasn’t committed any offense recently that he has been paroled for. Are you sure? Seems like that is what he was admitting to when he said “At least you aren’t on parole.” ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2012, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724/100 "2012-07-29T23:49:52Z")
> [@](#): > > I think he is on parole for failure to pay child support, at least that is what he said. You said his _girlfriend_ was delinquent on support, and he said “at least you aren’t on parole.” You could parse that as _him_ being on parole for nonsupport, but it’s not the most obvious reference (at least to me). I guess it would depend on whether he put the emphasis on “you”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-handyman-is-a-convicted-sex-offender/629724.md?page=6)