# The Higgs boson does not exist **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 30, 2011, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613 "2011-08-30T12:16:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2011, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613/41 "2011-09-02T04:51:20Z")
Perhaps all the experimental runs that did produce Higgs Bosons collapsed into alternate universes and were not detectable in this one. Tris ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2011, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613/42 "2011-09-02T15:20:23Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > Your experience counts only if the tata’s in question emitted a minimum of 145 electron volts. Damn! I bet those headlights could vaporize a small town. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2011, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613/43 "2011-09-02T15:23:09Z")
> [@Triskadecamus](#): > > Perhaps all the experimental runs that did produce Higgs Bosons collapsed into alternate universes and were not detectable in this one. > > Tris Or, every time we detect the Higgs, that universe ceases to exist (and us/them with it), and spawns an alternate universe where we have the data, but when we run the experiments again, it’s not where we expect it. So we look elsewhere, find it, then we/they cease to exist branching off yet another alternate universe… okay, I’m scaring myself… STOP THE LHC! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2011, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613/44 "2011-09-02T22:00:02Z")
The Higgs bassoon does not exist. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2011, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613/45 "2011-09-02T23:14:48Z")
How about the contrabassoon then? ---
**Author:** ![colonial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/34f0e0/32.png) [@colonial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colonial)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613/46 "2011-09-03T00:17:52Z")
Whatever else there may be about the Higgs bosun it is not mundane or pointless. Many of the replies to this thread are real JHS Valley Girl/Boy shit, though. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613/47 "2011-09-03T01:47:25Z")
I read an article recently in which someone made the argument that the Higgs boson travels backward in time to prevent its discovery. Anyone know what I’m talking about, and care to reassure me that this is in fact complete baloney? ETA: [http://www.newscientist.com/blogs/shortsharpscience/2009/10/is-a-time-travelling-higgs-sab.html](http://www.newscientist.com/blogs/shortsharpscience/2009/10/is-a-time-travelling-higgs-sab.html) ---
**Author:** ![Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/13edae/32.png) [@Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interconnected_Series_of_Tubes)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613/48 "2011-09-03T01:47:42Z")
Didn’t the Higgs boson travel backwards through time to prevent its own discovery? ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613/49 "2011-09-03T12:59:11Z")
The Higgs Boson is dead. Signed: God. God is dead. Signed: The Higgs Boson. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613/50 "2011-09-03T17:06:30Z")
The Higgs Boson does not exist, but yo’ momma so fat, she has mass _anyway_. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613/51 "2011-09-03T18:09:55Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > The Higgs Boson does not exist, but yo’ momma so fat, she has mass _anyway_. or: Yo momma so massive, she’s got a Higgs bosom. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613/52 "2011-09-03T21:31:36Z")
**Jenaroph** , you’re a bit late to the party girl. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613/53 "2011-09-04T02:14:55Z")
If you were the Higgs boson/bosom/buffoon/bassoon/BoBob, would you want to reveal yourself, in all your Higginess? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613/54 "2011-09-04T02:19:22Z")
> [@](#): > > I read an article recently in which someone made the argument that the Higgs boson travels backward in time to prevent its discovery. Anyone know what I’m talking about, and care to reassure me that this is in fact complete baloney? Put it this way: The balonosity of that hypothesis is inversely proportional to the concentration of THC in one’s blood. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613/55 "2011-09-04T04:18:46Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > **Jenaroph** , you’re a bit late to the party girl. That wasn’t late to the party, that was theft of an existing phrase to complete a yo momma joke. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613/56 "2011-09-04T16:01:23Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Put it this way: The balonosity of that hypothesis is inversely proportional to the concentration of THC in one’s blood. So, what yer saying is… The Higgs likes to _party…_ Right on! ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613/57 "2011-09-04T16:12:22Z")
It’s the Higgs Bodaughter particle that is good at hiding its weight. They’ve been looking for the wrong one! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-higgs-boson-does-not-exist/594613.md?page=2)