# The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug - Seen it; open spoilers **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 14, 2013, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312 "2013-12-14T17:44:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/21 "2013-12-15T08:03:48Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > One thing did stand out, however, that instantly exceeded my suspension of disbelief. Beorn’s house had a chessboard in it. I can easily accept the reality of an 8-foot tall, primordial shapeshifter; but I cannot believe that he plays chess. “I suggest a new strategy Bilbo…let the shapeshifter win.” ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/22 "2013-12-15T08:52:17Z")
I’d like to know what was up with Thranduil’s face sorta … melting when he was telling Thorin that he’d faced wyrms himself. I’m also wondering about Tauriel’s glowing during the healing of Kili. Kili was nearly dead, and (assuming I remember correctly) a Morgul blade is supposed to bring the victim into the wraith world. When Frodo was nearly over the line, he saw Glorfindel blazing, and we know that’s because Glorfindel had seen the light of the Trees. Sylvan’s never did, so how is it that Tauriel is glowing? I spotted Stephen Colbert, too. Usually I miss things like that, so I was pleased I was able to pick him out. And Smaug was … magnificent. I could tell it was Cumberbatch’s voice. (And yeah, kinda wondering about the “triangle” business. That seems more than a little odd.) ---
**Author:** ![vontsira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/51bf81/32.png) [@vontsira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vontsira)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/23 "2013-12-15T10:22:20Z")
> [@Lasciel](#): > > **Vontsira** , the spider part wasn’t long - it was shorter than the bits with Shelob in LoTR - 10, maybe 15 minutes? Have a shoulder-buddy handy to tap you back in, because there’s some nifty Legolas-vs-dwarves stuff that happens RIGHT AFTERWARDS and I almost missed it. > > I spent the entire spider part with my eyes closed tight, and I could follow the action perfectly - the sound effects are well-done enough to let me know what was going on. _shudder_ > Also, because I was jumpy and worried both before and afterwards, there are NO spiders at all before Bilbo climbs up a tree. Close your eyes IMMEDIATELY once he ducks back down. > > On the other hand, once you get done with that scene, there aren’t any more spiders at all. They do not show up anywhere else in the rest of the film, so you can rest easy. > > _gah - spiders. Why is it always spiders?_ Thanks for the Arachnophobe’s Guide to “Hobbit” Film II ! With the time-frames as described, I reckon it will be well worth going. I wish I weren’t this way about spiders – actually, small ones don’t bother me. I recognise that spiders are fascinating and accomplished creatures; and in my country of residence, there’s no kind of spider that can hurt you in any way. As is well known, though, this stuff is not rational… ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/24 "2013-12-15T15:14:37Z")
Unlike the first film - mostly JRR’s work with some “Prequel to Jackson’s LOTR” thrown in, this film flips that around and has a lot more of the prequel feeling. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. FWIW I liked the first one better. ---
**Author:** ![tingbudong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tingbudong/32/520_2.png) [@tingbudong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tingbudong)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/25 "2013-12-15T19:33:38Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > I was not a fan of the romance aspect, which seemed shoehorned in and added nothing except runtime to an already long movie, nor did I like them making Legolas _such_ a large role. I thought he’d only be at Mirkwood (which does make canonical sense.) It was nice to see him finally get his ass-kicked for a change…even though one could argue his fight with Bolg was a draw ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/26 "2013-12-15T21:49:00Z")
While Bilbo sleeps through the Battle of Five Armies in the book, I have no doubt that we’ll get to watch 2 or 3 hours of it. (I haven’t seen Part 2 yet, but my biggest problems with Part 1 were (a) it wasn’t about Bilbo; and (b) too many battles. From what I’ve heard, I’m hopeful that Part 2 will overcome those objections, but I’m sure that Part 3 won’t.) ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/27 "2013-12-15T22:40:32Z")
> [@LawMonkey](#): > > Just back from seeing it. Not bad. The Necromancer stuff felt terribly… extraneous, I’m afraid, but whatevs. Impressed with Smaug’s appearance; not so impressed with Cumberbatch, as his voice was buried under so much FX that it was rather hard to recognize it as him. Did you know that the Necromancer’s voice is Cumberbatch, as well? (Speaking of a voice buried under FX…) ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/28 "2013-12-15T22:48:10Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Did you know that the Necromancer’s voice is Cumberbatch, as well? (Speaking of a voice buried under FX…) So’s the Necormancer’s body. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/29 "2013-12-15T23:17:48Z")
In watching the credits, I saw that the second unit director was Andy Serkis. Cool. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/30 "2013-12-16T00:46:05Z")
The movie was fun but I will say it again. I hope to live long enough to someday see the Hobbit made into a movie, not just the inspiration for a 3 movie series with nearly no relation to the word of the Professor. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/31 "2013-12-16T01:01:49Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > I spotted Stephen Colbert, too. Usually I miss things like that, so I was pleased I was able to pick him out. Who did he play? ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/32 "2013-12-16T01:08:12Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > I hope to live long enough to someday see the Hobbit made into a movie, not just the inspiration for a 3 movie series with nearly no relation to the word of the Professor. “Nearly no relation?”. I mean, they’ve taken a few liberties with the plot, but not that many. You could watch with the book in your lap and find pretty much every scene in the book in the movie, in order, as you went (though not vice-versa). Certainly if they tried to change the names and make the same movie saying it had “nearly no relation” to The Hobbit, the Tolkien estate would sue them six-ways from Sunday. Anyways, I’m sure once the third film comes out, someone on the internets will make a fan cut with the extra stuff taken out, and you’ll get a pretty straightforward Hobbit movie. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/33 "2013-12-16T01:09:46Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > In watching the credits, I saw that the second unit director was Andy Serkis. Cool. 🙂 Yeah, he was a second unit director on the whole thing. He wasn’t available for re-shoots(well, more like additional shooting) this last year, though, because he was filming the second Planet of the Apes movie. I think the filmed his Gollum scenes first so he was free to help direct the rest. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/34 "2013-12-16T01:09:55Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > Who did he play? He was the Laketown spy lighting a pipe. ---
**Author:** ![AndrewL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@AndrewL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndrewL)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/35 "2013-12-16T01:26:06Z")
> [@ricksummon](#): > > Smaug was definitely awesome. Indeed, the teasers and trailers fall utterly short of his enormity. I can’t believe the dwarves tried to kill him with molten gold, though. Anyone who’s watched **Game of Thrones** knows that’ll only kill whiny little punks who _claim_ to be dragons. 🙂 And any Dwarf Fortress player will tell you it needs to be a two-step process to work. First you pour magma on the monster, then you pour water to flash-freeze it. Kills even magma-immune creatures. Nice depiction of the lever-activated dwarven perpetual motion waterwheel engine however. ---
**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/36 "2013-12-16T01:36:56Z")
I saw the HFR version (didn’t see the first movie), and maybe I was imagining it, but I could tell the difference. It felt like watching one of those TV demos where the TV increases the framerate. The mayor of Lake Town felt too Monty Python-like to me, though. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/37 "2013-12-16T02:19:47Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > The movie was fun but I will say it again. > > I hope to live long enough to someday see the Hobbit made into a movie, not just the inspiration for a 3 movie series with nearly no relation to the word of the Professor. Yes, I basically agree with this take. The barrel scene needs to be removed entirely. Walking out of the theater I mentioned “Wile E Coyote stuff” to my wife and she knew exactly what I was referring to. If Peter Jackson wants to go jerk off to elven acrobatics, maybe he could keep that private? And ending it without killing Smaug? Come on, guys! It’s bad enough to bog the movie down with extraneous bullshit. It’s even worse when the bullshit takes precedence over the climax. The LOTR movies are among the best movies ever made. The Hobbit movies are merely fun, and do no favors to the source material. ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/38 "2013-12-16T03:19:24Z")
> [@AaronX](#): > > I saw the HFR version (didn’t see the first movie), and maybe I was imagining it, but I could tell the difference. It felt like watching one of those TV demos where the TV increases the framerate. > > The mayor of Lake Town felt too Monty Python-like to me, though. Sounds about right. I have one of those upped-framerate TVs and have gotten used to it rather than digging around in to the settings to change it; it looks right to me. I saw the first Hobbit in HFR, and it had the same sort of look to it. And yes, the mayor (what was he called? The Master?) was a bit too cartoonish, as was his Snidely Whiplash functionary. > [@dracoi](#): > > The barrel scene needs to be removed entirely. Walking out of the theater I mentioned “Wile E Coyote stuff” to my wife and she knew exactly what I was referring to. If Peter Jackson wants to go jerk off to elven acrobatics, maybe he could keep that private? Hear, hear. My eyes rolled as much as the barrel. Also, what is it with Legolas and surfing on things? 😜 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/39 "2013-12-16T03:27:20Z")
> [@dracoi](#): > > And ending it without killing Smaug? Come on, guys! It’s bad enough to bog the movie down with extraneous bullshit. It’s even worse when the bullshit takes precedence over the climax. CA-Ching! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312/40 "2013-12-16T04:11:13Z")
Also, I thought Kili and Thorin were the same dwarf, until he told himself he couldn’t go to the mountain. What? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-seen-it-open-spoilers/676312.md?page=3)