# The horror of blimps **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 5, 2003, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885 "2003-02-05T04:49:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/21 "2003-02-05T12:24:10Z")
_Me_: (incompletely choked-off hysterical laughter) _My Boss_: What’s so funny about the malfunctioning BizTalk Server, Steve? _Me_: (long pause) … err … I was just amused by the implementation of the reliable messaging interface … (gathers speed) I mean, how can they call it reliable, when they allow receipt messages to build up indefinitely in the suspended queue, and - _My Boss_: (loses interest and wanders off) So there we are. Not just a wonderful OP, but also a golden opportunity for me to practice my bullshitting skills. Keep 'em coming, **Scylla**! ---
**Author:** ![Woeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Woeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Woeg)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/22 "2003-02-05T12:36:40Z")
I seriously have tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard. Thanks, Scylla! ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/23 "2003-02-05T13:40:52Z")
Dread Zeppelin ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/24 "2003-02-05T14:31:51Z")
God that sounds cool. I want one myself, and I’m MUCH older than your three-year-old daughter. ---
**Author:** ![SirRay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@SirRay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SirRay)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/25 "2003-02-05T14:33:25Z")
Next time, don’t skimp - make sure to get the Lifelike high impact plastic scale mooring mast too. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/26 "2003-02-05T14:37:09Z")
The ease in which your wife dispatched the floating twinkie was due no doubt in large part to your previous heroic efforts. Mebbe if you built a large floating badger… ---
**Author:** ![bernse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/27 "2003-02-05T14:45:02Z")
\ **10** Audience goes wild! Great story. I’m glad I was alone in the office when I read it! ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/28 "2003-02-05T14:46:27Z")
I don’t know, malden. I think the bit about the alligator brain is what did it for me. To recap: > [@](#): > > Deep in our alligator brains we all know that the world is just chock full of evil and monsters and sinister forces aligned against us, and it is only a matter of time until they show up. Evolution know this, too. It knows what to do when the silent terror comes at you from out of the dark. So Scylla, how did your wife wake up in time without a functioning alarm clock? ---
**Author:** ![Madame\_Zelda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Madame\_Zelda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madame_Zelda)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/29 "2003-02-05T14:55:47Z")
> [@](#): > > It’s called Airship Earth, and it’s a great big balloon with a map of the Earth on it, and two propellors hanging from the bottom. Envision how much more terrifying if it had been a mock-up of the Shamu blimp! _TV News Anchor:_ Last night a local man was terrorized by a miniature killer whale while sleeping in his home at 1313 Mockingbird Lane. _Anchor #2:_ A what ??? You really should consider submitting this OP to publications that actually pay for this type of creativity. Rock On!! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/30 "2003-02-05T14:57:10Z")
> [@](#): > > _Blimpy-boy_ > … as I had to explain to my very angry spouse Angry and, it would seem, extremely dangerous. That going from pleasant snooze to fully awake with hackles raised thing’s exhausting too isn’t it? Our bed struts broke in the middle of the other night and although I got back to sleep I was a wreck the next day. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/31 "2003-02-05T15:09:28Z")
Plus! I now know what I’m going to get the BF for his late birthday present! (ps, we have that hot water baseboard heat). Althoughhhhhh, we DO have a rather psychotic aussie too… ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/32 "2003-02-05T15:12:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hawthorne \* > Angry and, it would seem, extremely dangerous. That’s why he calls her the Angel of Death, and as an _affectionate_ term, even. Glad to hear it was just a false alarm at least; the last time I got woken out of sleep by a full emergency metabolic alert, the apartment immediately next to mine was ablaze. I’m just glad I read this story before anyone else in my office came in - data collection isn’t typically a cause to nearly spray one’s computer monitor with tea. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sejal\_Traurig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Sejal\_Traurig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sejal_Traurig)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/33 "2003-02-05T15:33:51Z")
At risk of being accused of hyperbole, I laughed till tears were streaming down my face, and then I laughed some more. Publish this! Dave Barry will be quake in fear at the coming of a wit fit to challenge his own. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/34 "2003-02-05T15:56:25Z")
Truly a work of art, **Scylla**. Not that I wish ill upon you, but I really enjoy it when the normal fabric of your life comes unraveled just a bit. It makes for great reading. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/35 "2003-02-05T16:03:26Z")
Just plain brilliant. How do you nominate something for Teemings Extras? E-mail **Euty**? ---
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/36 "2003-02-05T16:10:33Z")
That was hilarious! It is quite clear we need more such tales. Let’s all pitch in and buy the Scylla household several more blimps. Are there any ninja dopers who live near Scylla and are willing to sneak them in for us? ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/37 "2003-02-05T16:32:22Z")
**Scylla** , we already have an Emperor of the World, the only things available are World’s Court Jester and Minister of Satire… your pick. That was awesome dude. Awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/38 "2003-02-05T16:53:30Z")
Is there a market here for a monthly magazine that includes one of **Fenris** ’s spot-on parodies, a **Scylla** here’s-my-life-retold-in-hysterically-funny-prose story, an **Eve** things-you-didn’t-know-about-the-movies-you-watch column, and a few other such things, with **Jonathan Chance** ’s marketing expertise making it financially sound? I’m quite serious – the talent on this board would make millions, if it were properly marketed! ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/39 "2003-02-05T17:17:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Is there a market here for a monthly magazine that includes one of Fenris’s spot-on parodies, a Scylla here’s-my-life-retold-in-hysterically-funny-prose story, an Eve things-you-didn’t-know-about-the-movies-you-watch column, and a few other such things, with Jonathan Chance’s marketing expertise making it financially sound? Yeah, it was called _Teemings_ and **Euty** killed it. ---
**Author:** ![Marconi\_Schmeese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@Marconi\_Schmeese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marconi_Schmeese)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885/40 "2003-02-05T17:36:54Z")
Here it is: [THE EVIL BLIMP](http://www.zanybrainy.com/global/store/product_detail.cfm?TID=03426530093340190305021675&Site=Toys&rs_section=keywordsearch&GroupID=6597&GroupTP=Model)! I think my husband may need one of these for his birthday. . . 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-horror-of-blimps/152885.md?page=3)