Most everybody said what I was going to say, but I couldn’t resist throwing in a few words.
Money: Poker is not a card game. Poker is a money game. If you are playing with 5 other people, then you will have the best hand exactly 1/6 of the time. Your job is to make more money in that one sixth than you lose in the other 5/ 6 ths. Play conservative. If you start with a crappy hand, it might get better, but the other guy’s might get better too.
Also, once you’ve put money in the pot, it’s not your money any more. Don’t throw good money after bad. Ok, you’ve heard that a million times, I’m sure. But you know what I’ve seen a million times? People throwing good money after bad.
Every time the bet comes around to you, you get to make a choice. You have to ask yourself about every bet, is this a good gamble?
It is completely appropriate to count your money at the table, and indeed you should. Just don’t be too obvous about it and certainly don’t gloat.
It is completely appropriate to set a limit on how much you are willing to lose in one night. Don’t take any crap from people about this. BUT, on the other hand, I do think it is rude to win a bunch of money and then quit early. I saw this happen once in college. We sat down at about 8 pm, one guy one several big hands, and then at 8:30 said, well, I’ve made my money, so I’m done. That guy was not invited back.
Etiquette: Maybe these points are all obvious but:
(1) don’t touch anybody else’s chips (unless you are raking in a pot you just won, but in that case, they’re your chips now!);
(2) Don’t look at anybody else’s cards (except of course their up cards in a stud game); If somebody is holding their cards in a lazy way so you can see them, tell them.
(3) as long as you are focused on the game, and not talking on your cell phone or whatever, then you should take as much time as you need to decide what to do (e.g. whether to call or fold, how many cards to take, etc.), and don’t take any guff from people trying to razz you.l
Bluffing: Don’t go overboard with this. As has been noted above, especially in a low stakes game, it is pretty hard to bluff out everybody else. BUT, that does not mean you should’t ever bluff. The point of bluffing on a pot is not to win that pot. The idea is to be unpredictable. You don’t want to be the guy who only bets when he has a great hand. Then everyone else will just fold as soon as you go in.
The Order When you are first starting out, it is easy to forget that a full house beats a flush, and that a flush beats a straight (indeed in the early history of poker it was the other way around), and that three of a kind beats two pair. Unless you have the order memorized (and maybe you do already) you should get one of those little cards with the order on it. NEVER EVER EVER ask " does X beat Y". If you can’t remember the order, ask somebody to recite the whole order to you so you don’t give anything away.
The showdown According to Hoyle, whoever is in after the last round of bets immediately shows his or her cards. None of this waiting to see what the other guy has and then tossing your hand away if you can’t beat it. BUT, not every group plays according to Hoyle in this regard. Best to pick a rule and stick to it. Also, different groups have different rules about “declaring” your hand. Say you have a bunch of wild cards in your hand and you declare it as a flush. Well, it turns out really you have a straight flush. Some groups say, your tough luck. Other’s say, the cards do the talking. So, if somebody makes a mistake declaring what their cards are, it doesn’t affect the outcome of the hand.
Annoying Misconceptions Many people incorrectly think (1) that suits affect the rank of poker hand, so that for example, a flush in spades beats a flush in hearts; and (2) that only the person who is called has to show her cards. Incorrect on both counts.
) The host posted the house rules up on the wall. Standard stuff, no wild cards, no copper on the table (although, we played with chips so that rule was moot), only three raises. The chips were $0.25, $0.50 and $1.00. Everyone threw in $20 and bought chips (and we ran out of chips and a chip run was needed, there were 6 of us at that point). We did a little 5 card stud jacks or better to open and trips to win. We moved on to 5 card draw, 7 card stud, texas hold ‘em, and two and six card guts. After about 2 hours I was up about $15.00. (I know what Kenny Rogers says, but I was countin’ em anyway, for science ya know.)