# The humble saltine cracker **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 28, 2018, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712 "2018-02-28T00:47:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![AirFarce1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/airfarce1/32/298_2.png) [@AirFarce1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AirFarce1)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2018, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/61 "2018-02-28T23:10:33Z")
I have two ways I like to eat them: - With a glass of REALLY cold milk; dunk and eat - What my family calls “butter baked crackers.” There are two ways to fix them butter the crackers and then microwave them until the butter disappears, and the preferred method, same process but bake at 350 in the oven until toased. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2018, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/62 "2018-02-28T23:39:08Z")
One pack of saltines. One stick of refrigerator cold butter. One can of Wolf brand chili.One good handful of cheddar cheese. Heat Chili and cheese(and a big dump of cayenne) until melted and steaming in Microwave. Take one saltine in left hand, place moderate pat of cold butter on top. Spoon a dollop of as much chili as you can without burning you hand, on top of the butter. Eat. Repeat until Sleeve of Crackers is empty. One of my top three hangover fighters. ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2018, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/63 "2018-03-01T02:37:16Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Here’s a raspberry 😛 for all the people who think they discovered the salty chocolate/caramel connection. Hey, for dairy farm family with eight kids during the depression, saltines were a luxury topping on homemade ice cream… but since you mention it, raspberry jam on saltines is pretty tasty 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2018, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/64 "2018-03-01T03:05:51Z")
After YEARS of fooling around with every conceivable version of chili con carne, I finally hit upon my own quietly personal Bowl of Red, which reflects my Great Lakes roots: Ground beef, LOTS of chile and garlic, onions, very little tomato, oregano and cumin in appropriate quantities, and canned red kidney beans. My chili REQUIRES saltine crackers on the side. Cornbread or oyster crackers would be a terrible blunder. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2018, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/65 "2018-03-01T04:18:03Z")
I thinly slice cheddar and have it on saltines. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2018, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/66 "2018-03-01T05:04:47Z")
Sardines and saltines. Dash of Tabasco. That’s all you need. ---
**Author:** ![DummyGladHands](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/49beb7/32.png) [@DummyGladHands](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DummyGladHands)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2018, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/67 "2018-03-01T12:18:22Z")
Does anyone else have a problem with saltines picking up a nasty taste, like they’re absorbing smells in the house?? I have to refrigerate them. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2018, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/68 "2018-03-01T13:20:16Z")
All this talk of saltines and no mention of Mock Apple Pie? Used to be a poor folk substitute for apple pie. [Mock Apple Pie](https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/mock-apple-pie) ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2018, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/69 "2018-03-01T14:41:48Z")
> [@DummyGladHands](#): > > Does anyone else have a problem with saltines picking up a nasty taste, like they’re absorbing smells in the house?? I have to refrigerate them. We store our crackers inside one of those specialized Tupperware containers. (I swear, it seems like they have one for every possible food. No, I don’t sell Tupperware, just been to a huge number of parties over the years.) We got it to keep the crackers from picking up moisture, which all by itself makes them stale and nasty, but I suppose they could also absorb onion odors or whatever if they weren’t being kept out as a side effect. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2018, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/70 "2018-03-01T14:42:53Z")
> [@DummyGladHands](#): > > Does anyone else have a problem with saltines picking up a nasty taste, like they’re absorbing smells in the house?? I have to refrigerate them. Once opened, they go south pretty quickly. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2018, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/71 "2018-03-01T17:57:28Z")
I don’t usually like anything other than the regular kind of Saltines, either, but I accidentally bought multigrain and they’re pretty good! They have a slightly toasted, nutty flavor. I also discovered mini-Saltines by accident and I love them in soups. You wouldn’t think they’re any different than regular Saltines or even oyster crackers, but they hold up better to liquid and have more flavor than oyster crackers. Try them if you can find a sale. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/72 "2018-03-02T02:00:25Z")
Pimento Cheese ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/73 "2018-03-02T02:23:25Z")
> [@notfrommensa](#): > > Pimento Cheese Spread or slices? If spread, what brand? Or homemade? If homemade, let’s have your recipe. You may PERT chart this reply, if necessary. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/74 "2018-03-02T15:12:35Z")
A thin layer of peanut butter and a good dollop of sriracha. It brings out the sweetness in the hot sauce. Also, plain butter and butter/peanut butter as alluded to above or a slice of old cheddar and a slice of good, garlicky kielbasa. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/75 "2018-03-02T15:36:26Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Spread or slices? If spread, what brand? Or homemade? If homemade, let’s have your recipe. You may PERT chart this reply, if necessary. _Slices??!?__Brand??!?_ What kind of troublemaker **are** you? There are as many recipes for Pimento Cheese as there are grandmothers. While it was invented in the North, the South has made the spread its own. The basics are _rough-grated_ cheddar cheese, cream cheese, pimentos, mayo, cayenne, salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder and whatever your Secret Ingredient is. Mine is a splash of pickle brine. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/76 "2018-03-02T16:04:46Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > As crazy as this may sound, I love them with chili. Dipped in butter, then dipped in chili. Same thing here, but not with the butter. Crackers are one of my comfort foods- in soup, eaten with chili, or with sharp cheddar cheese. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/77 "2018-03-02T16:19:01Z")
> [@Icarus](#): > > All this talk of saltines and no mention of Mock Apple Pie? Used to be a poor folk substitute for apple pie. > > [Mock Apple Pie](https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/mock-apple-pie) I always wondered about that. You make it with Rtiz. But apples are cheap, and a 40# box of seconds can be had for about the price of a box of Ritz crakers. I dunno how it is supposed to be cheaper. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/78 "2018-03-02T16:28:34Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > _Slices??!?__Brand??!?_ > > What kind of troublemaker **are** you? The cute kind. > [@](#): > > There are as many recipes for Pimento Cheese as there are grandmothers. While it was invented in the North, the South has made the spread its own. The basics are _rough-grated_ cheddar cheese, cream cheese, pimentos, mayo, cayenne, salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder and whatever your Secret Ingredient is. Mine is a splash of pickle brine. I know that. I wanted **notfrommensa’s** recipe. Thanks for revealing your excellent secret ingredient. I hope that doesn’t mean you have to kill me now. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/79 "2018-03-02T16:36:05Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > I always wondered about that. You make it with Rtiz. But apples are cheap, and a 40# box of seconds can be had for about the price of a box of Ritz crakers. I dunno how it is supposed to be cheaper. 😕 I suppose once upon a time it was cheaper or something? Anyhow, I made it once, and it was startling how it mimicked apple pie. It’s really disconcerting. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712/80 "2018-03-02T17:30:25Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > I know that. I wanted **notfrommensa’s** recipe. Thanks for revealing your excellent secret ingredient. I hope that doesn’t mean you have to kill me now. You are safe so long as, when you serve the pimento cheese you say that you got the secret ingredient from some otherwise-useless nutball on a message board. 😃 My grandmother’s twist was to use a 50/50 mix of mayo/Miracle Whip in hers. But the basic Truth is that **notfrommensa** is correct in stating that Pimento Cheese is a classic topper for Saltines. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-humble-saltine-cracker/809712.md?page=5)