# The Hunt for Rant October---minirant time! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 1, 2012, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386 "2012-10-01T10:51:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 27
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/521 "2012-10-26T00:17:03Z")
> [@Faruiza](#): > > Yes. Because women NEVER have platonic relationships with men. Shut up, dick. There was a recent study that showed that while women have what they consider platonic friendships with men, the men seldom have the same idea. And yeah, I’m pushing a little on this one. Why does that make you so butthurt? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/522 "2012-10-26T00:27:06Z")
My mini-rant of the day is a double header, although it only involves one person. I was at a flea market type store buying some books and dvds. I gave them to the cashier to ring up and told her I didn’t need a bag because I already had one. While she was ringing my stuff up, I turned away to look at a rack of CD’s. After a couple of minutes, she still hadn’t finished and told me what I owed so I turned back and saw that she had finished. She was reading a magazine. I asked her if she was done ringing up my order and she said, yes, but she hadn’t wanted to disturb me so she had just gone back to reading her magazine when she finished. And as she proudly pointed out, she had double bagged my stuff for me. I found this annoying. Apparently I wasn’t supposed to do anything else like looking at CD’s while she was ringing up my order. I guess I was supposed to stand there and pay attention to her while she was working so she’d feel appreciated. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/523 "2012-10-26T00:30:19Z")
Maybe she was waiting to see if you were going to add something else to the pile out of what you were looking at. I would imagine that happens sometimes when people keep looking at stuff while their product is being rung up. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/524 "2012-10-26T00:36:58Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I’m sure that I could convince you that I am the flamingest gay man on the planet if I needed to do so. I’m sure you could. After all, my wife knew me for 20+ years before I told her I’m bi, and she had NO idea at all. Nonetheless, I think I’m safe in concluding that I have more chance of getting in this guy’s pants than she does. Er, not that I’m trying to or anything, even though he’s pretty cute. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/525 "2012-10-26T00:43:44Z")
I swear to Og that if you ever again try to rub what I assume is your half erect dick (cause that’s what it felt like) in my crotch, while “hugging” me goodbye, I will not be held responsible for what happens next. And I promise you, it will **not** be pleasant for you. And now I’m sitting here fuming and drinking scotch, since as long as I’m fuming, I’m not breaking down in tears. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/526 "2012-10-26T00:58:27Z")
> [@Chef\_Troy](#): > > I’m sure you could. After all, my wife knew me for 20+ years before I told her I’m bi, and she had NO idea at all. Nonetheless, I think I’m safe in concluding that I have more chance of getting in this guy’s pants than she does. > > Er, not that I’m trying to or anything, even though he’s pretty cute. 😃 lol. Yeah, I was just messing with you, but the point was fairly legit. It was the term used that kinda set off my alarm bells. It is entirely possible to have platonic friendships with married women. Many years ago I was friends with both halves of a couple who would come over every Friday night, or I’d go to their house. We kept doing so even on those occasions where the husband was out of town for work. Nothing ever happened and I never made the slightest pass at her. But I wouldn’t expect that to be the rule in these things. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/527 "2012-10-26T01:31:57Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Booze and fat, eh? One peanut butter sandwich with a side of Bailey’s Irish Cream coming right up. 🙂 > [@Chef\_Troy](#): > > Chocolate-COVERED bacon! > [@Angua](#): > > … drinking scotch, since as long as I’m fuming, I’m not breaking down in tears. I believe the above two quoted posts may contain marching orders for **Angua** for the remainder of the evening. (That does kinda ruin your day, though. I’m sorry he went all unneutered-dog on you… ☹ ) ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/528 "2012-10-26T01:57:59Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I believe the above two quoted posts may contain marching orders for **Angua** for the remainder of the evening. > > (That does kinda ruin your day, though. I’m sorry he went all unneutered-dog on you… ☹ ) Well, at least the booze and chocolate. 😉 He has no idea just how badly he affected me today; he’s been flirtatious and handsy before, but today was the only time that I’ve ever felt, well, dirty. Coupled with his comments about how he’d make sure I got off campus safely, it triggered some bad bad memories.. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/529 "2012-10-26T02:05:24Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > Bacon, it’s always bacon. And not that ‘Canadian’ crap either, real 'merican bacon. 🙂 You’ve triggered one of my pet peeves - [this is what we call ‘bacon’ in Canada, and what we commonly eat.](http://www.chicagonow.com/katalin-fitness-health-driven/files/2012/03/crispy-bacon.jpg) [This is back bacon, and we hardly ever eat it.](http://www.foodsubs.com/Photos/canadianbacon.jpg) > [@Chef\_Troy](#): > > Chocolate-COVERED bacon! YES! I think you’ve discovered my craving! > [@Angua](#): > > I swear to Og that if you ever again try to rub what I assume is your half erect dick (cause that’s what it felt like) in my crotch, while “hugging” me goodbye, I will not be held responsible for what happens next. And I promise you, it will **not** be pleasant for you. And now I’m sitting here fuming and drinking scotch, since as long as I’m fuming, I’m not breaking down in tears. I’m so sorry he did that. Next time you see him, just punch him in the crotch - that ought to get your feelings about his behaviour across clearly. ---
**Author:** ![Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emtar_KronJonDerSohn)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/530 "2012-10-26T02:11:50Z")
Mother in law! Inviting yourself over for dinner is not cool! Showing up AN HOUR LATE is not cool! Saying oops I locked my keys in the car WITH DINNER INSIDE is not cool! Disappearing with my car for another HOUR to get your spare set is not cool! Coming back and producing your undercooked dry beans in ketchup and mustard dish for dinner is not cool! That’s not even food! Rambling nonstop about your idiotic boyfriend no one likes is not cool! Somebody kill me. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/531 "2012-10-26T02:23:00Z")
At how many points in that nightmare did you have a chance to speak up and stop it, but you didn’t? ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/532 "2012-10-26T02:32:36Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I’m so sorry he did that. Next time you see him, just punch him in the crotch - that ought to get your feelings about his behaviour across clearly. I thought stabbing him in the crotch with a sword earlier in the evening was hint enough? ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/533 "2012-10-26T03:15:59Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > HA! The other Shoe accidentally walked in on me when I was on the throne except I wasn’t peeing and after the whole “AAAH!” “Oops! Sorry!” routine, as he closed the door, he added: > > “Did I scare the shit outta ya?” > > No. No, you didn’t. Turns out that phrase doesn’t work for me… Yanno, I have no idea where that phrase came into use, because when my friends are sitting around telling lies, one of the things they all agree on is that when the shooting starts, the output stops. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/534 "2012-10-26T03:26:10Z")
But my understanding is also that when the breathing stops, the output starts. So, you know, correlation? And of course there’s this documentary [photo](http://www.stubbornfool.com/2012/06/30-day-writing-challenge-spiders.html). ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/535 "2012-10-26T04:10:55Z")
So…probably the output stops so there is a chance that the breathing won’t. Looks at that link with much trepidation…clicks, then laughs 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/536 "2012-10-26T05:57:10Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Yanno, I have no idea where that phrase came into use, because when my friends are sitting around telling lies, one of the things they all agree on is that when the shooting starts, the output stops. [Anecdotal evidence](http://funlinks.com/files/bungeepoop185.jpg) that it is possible to have the shit scared out of you. > [@flatlined](#): > > My rant: I just learned that I don’t pee when I’m scared, everything tightens up and nothing comes out. How did I learn this? > > Because I went to the bathroom closest to where Steve the feral housecat hides. I sat down, started to do my business and suddenly, Steve started snarling. My bladder said “NOPE! No more peeing for you, stand up and put your clothes back on, then run away really fast!!!” > > As I was trying to do the run away thing with my jeans half zipped, Steve came out from behind the toilet and ran the other way. Reminds me of a gag device I keep trying to convince myself to build. Something like one of those Staples Easy buttons with a remote pressure switch. Put the player behind the commode and the pressure switch under one of the feet of the seat that was left down. 30 seconds after someone sits down it yells “Oh my god!!”. Or “Oh, the humanity!”. Or maybe just a blood curdling scream. As often as I’m accused of being evil I just can’t bring myself to put one together. Then there’s also the fact that my only test subjects would be my wife and daughter and they both know where I sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/537 "2012-10-26T07:15:26Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Really? Where? [Here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15623016&postcount=13) > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Booze and fat, eh? One peanut butter sandwich with a side of Bailey’s Irish Cream coming right up. 🙂 I like the way you think! > [@Angua](#): > > I swear to Og that if you ever again try to rub what I assume is your half erect dick (cause that’s what it felt like) in my crotch, while “hugging” me goodbye, I will not be held responsible for what happens next. And I promise you, it will **not** be pleasant for you. And now I’m sitting here fuming and drinking scotch, since as long as I’m fuming, I’m not breaking down in tears. I’d say just do “whatever happens next” next time you see him, just to be on the safe side. Hope it was good scotch and it helped ☹ > [@Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](#): > > Somebody kill me. ☹ Surely you mean “somebody kill her”? My mini-rant - hey local family pub, I agree testing your smoke alarms is a good idea, but how about doing it \*\*before \*\*you open up, rather than without warning 2.5 hours after opening, when people are trying to enjoy a quiet lunch, and oh, have a sleeping toddler in the stroller next to them? I swear this place pisses me off at least one a fortnight, but it’s the only decent kiddie-friendly place to eat within walking distance, so they’ve kind of got the monopoly. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/538 "2012-10-26T12:06:49Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > 'd say just do “whatever happens next” next time you see him, just to be on the safe side. > > Hope it was good scotch and it helped ☹ Oh, the scotch helped. Its very good scotch, so there was that too. As did a long chat with a sympathetic friend who’s known this guy for a while, who helped me to come up with a strategy to deal with this guy, which is going to involve saying something, and saying it loudly, clearly and distinctly, rather than laughing off his advances and playing them as a joke, which is what I’ve been doing so far. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/539 "2012-10-26T12:22:57Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > Booze. It’s always booze. 🙂 We don’t drink. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386/540 "2012-10-26T15:08:10Z")
> [@FatBaldGuy](#): > > What is a work husband? I prefer the term “best-friend-at-work.” Seems more respectful to our spouses, especially when they each think the BFAW is awesome. I just did an online quiz to see if I have Adult ADD but it took a while because I kept getting distracted by my multi-tasking and thinking and reading other things and … SQUIRREL. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386.md?page=26) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-hunt-for-rant-october-minirant-time/636386.md?page=28)