# The I Didn't See One So I Started One MMP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [July 27, 2015, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305 "2015-07-27T07:48:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/181 "2015-07-31T01:06:40Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > Was there a story behind this? Non payment of rent. Although the parking lot parties with fast food trash, beer bottles and…condoms :dubious: probably didn’t help their cause. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/182 "2015-07-31T01:15:15Z")
When I lived out in the country we had snakes. Big black snakes. One day Sah-son’s father was driving up the driveway and he stopped suddenly. I asked why he stopped and he said look - big black snake stretched across the driveway. It was so long that the head and tail were still in the bushes along the drive. Another day, Sah-son was a toddler, I heard him laugh that laugh that meant he was up to something. That something was a big black snake in the corner of the yard. I had four dogs at the time and they had it cornered. The dogs were circling it, every now and the one of them would go in for the kill and the snake was coiled and raised up striking at the dogs. Sah-son saw it and thought it looked like great fun and I had to run to catch him before he could join in. I threw him, kicking and screaming into the house and I couldn’t get the dogs in. I had to go out and drag them one by one into the house until the last one realized she was all alone and thought she should come in too. That wasn’t near as bad as the time I got up to get up to get something out of the microwave and as I headed back to the living room a snake slithered across the carpet. OMG! Flip out time! Snake in the house! With a toddler! I chased the snake, no idea what I was going to do it I caught it. It went under the baseboard heating and I guess followed the pipe down to the basement. So I called animal control. Coming from Baltimore City where animal control takes care of everything I wasn’t prepared for the country where animal control’s main function seems to be laughing at city people. So I tell the guy about the snake and he said while he couldn’t be sure without seeing it that he thought it was a baby black snake. The snake was splotchy black and white, about 18 inches long. He says oh yeah, it there is an opening the size of a pencil eraser a small snake can get into your house. That’s not really a problem though, because they eat the mice. I said as long as you think it’s not poisonous because of having a toddler in the house. So he says well what you do, when you catch the snake you hold it up and look at its eyes and if they are round it’s not poisonous but if they are slitted it is. I said if I caught the snake it wasn’t coming anywhere near my face so I could look at its eyes. It would be flung out the nearest door. He said then how will you know if it is poisonous or not. Then he says if I want to catch the snake what I do is get a pillow case, prop it open near where I last saw the snake and put some wet newspaper inside. Snakes like cool, wet, dark areas and when the snake crawls in I can grab the pillow case, take it outside and shake the snake out. I said I think I’d just throw the whole thing outside. He said why would you do that, you’d be throwing away a good pillowcase. I said there ain’t enough bleach in the world to clean that pillow case after a snake has been inside, there’s no way I’d put my face on it. He said well it’s your pillow case if you want to throw away good money to buy a new one. Then he says another way of catching it is to put some of those sticky mouse traps out. The snake will try to slither over it and get stuck. I said you know, if it’s a black snake I’d rather not kill it. He says oh, that won’t kill the snake. It won’t? No, he says what you do is you get a bucket and fill it up with ice water. Then you put the snake and the trap in the bucket, snakes are cold blooded and as it chills it’ll stop moving. Then you get some cooking oil and rub it on the snake and it’ll come loose from the trap and you can let it go. I said tell you what. I’ll catch the snake and put it in the bucket of ice water, grab some cooking oil, bring it up to you and you can get it loose. He says WHAT? You think I’m crazy, I ain’t touching no damn snake. so much for animal control After I told Sah-son’s father about the snake he wanted to go sleep at a friends house. The coward. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/183 "2015-07-31T01:16:07Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > I’d rather have a snake jump out of a tree on me than an elephant. Fact: Elephants paint their toenails red so they can hide in apple trees to jump on you. That was a joke in one of those damn books we bought in elementary school. Now you have Swampy afraid of jumping elephants in trees! Good job! Swampy, perhaps you should just stay inside your air conditioner, as recommended by\*\*\* THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE.\*\*\* ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/184 "2015-07-31T01:31:22Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > That was a joke in one of those damn books we bought in elementary school. > > Now you have Swampy afraid of jumping elephants in trees! > Good job! As juvenile as **Swampy** , the joke is very appropriate. Of course, it will take me half an hour to explain it to you. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/185 "2015-07-31T01:46:32Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > As juvenile as **Swampy** , the joke is very appropriate. Of course, it will take me half an hour to explain it to you. May you turn into a kugle, and be eaten by a cat. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/186 "2015-07-31T01:59:49Z")
**swampy** , most snakes won’t hurt you as bad as you’ll hurt yourself when you come across him. **spidey** , when month end comes on Friday, sometimes extra effort is put in to make sure we’re out of there in time to have a good start to the weekend. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/187 "2015-07-31T02:06:22Z")
> [@missred](#): > > **swampy** , most snakes won’t hurt you as bad as you’ll hurt yourself when you come across him. Yes they will, they will drop onto you from a tree and bite you if they are poisonous, or eat you if they are anacondas released into the wild by inconsiderate pet owners. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/188 "2015-07-31T02:15:04Z")
> [@dogbutler](#): > > I get the ones that are too drunk and unruly, and got exiled from Pittsburgh. Drunk and unruly doesn’t get you exiled; using Hunt’s Ketchup gets you exiled. You can murder an Eagles fan or beat some Lightning fan senseless and all will be forgiven; use anything red other than Heinz and you may as well be peeing on the American flag while simultaniously burning it. Take that back – the American flag they wouldn’t care about. Make that one of the original Myron Cope Terrible Towels. > [@swampbear](#): > > Every tree in da yahd is _infested_ with snakes! I just know they are. Snakes slitherin’ all in the trees ready to jump down on me. I think I need a cast iron umbrella. :eek: And a lot could be escaped pets and huge ones at that. Favorite Nephew got a large python (8"+) out of the tree in Beloved Brothers yard. You ain’t that far from the Trout River as the snake slithers. > [@swampbear](#): > > Fine. I am now convinced that snakes are slitherin’ around all over the place just waitin’ for me to step outside. Y’all happy now? Just remember that all that old first aide stuff about sucking the poison out is old wives tales; get to an ER rapido and let the professionals handle it. Unless you are sure its a benign sort of snake and you are looking to liven up the weekend. 😃 > [@Buttercup\_Smith](#): > > When I was a girl all we did for recreation was go fishing. I can’t count the times Daddy would get the boat in the bushes and snakes would fall into the boat. He couldn’t fish in a clear open spot. Once we were at a pond fishing from the bank and he wanted to move to the other side through the woods. I stepped on a snake and remember looking down and it was looking back up at me with its mouth open. I screamed and jumped. Daddy saw it and said “damn, that’s a cottonmouth”. It’s a miracle I survived childhood. Near me on the one bike trail they are having trouble with copperheads. Mostly dogs getting bitten – I would prefer it was the people. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/189 "2015-07-31T02:23:26Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Do you have [any](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-C8CYOAbnd7k/TwrEhEutafI/AAAAAAAABv0/BTmadZI37_0/s1600/spudgun.jpg) [weapons](http://files.doobybrain.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/rubber-band-gun.jpg), Swampy? I take my snake shooting a little more seriously. > **[Photo Storage](https://s171.photobucket.com/user/Stainz_2007/media/003-1.jpg.html)** > > Store your photos and videos online with secure storage from Photobucket. Available on iOS, Android and desktop. Securely backup your memories and sign up today! > [@VunderBob](#): > > I’d rather have a snake jump out of a tree on me than an elephant. Fact: Elephants paint their toenails red so they can hide in apple trees to jump on you. And piss on you. Which is why you always see explorers wearing piss helmets. Except with the bad dentistry from the early English explorers it is usually pronounced “pith”. Speaking of the English, the old Toil & Strife is home again. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/190 "2015-07-31T02:26:02Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > And a lot could be escaped pets and huge ones at that. Favorite Nephew got a large python (8"+) out of the tree in Beloved Brothers yard. You ain’t that far from the Trout River as the snake slithers. Meant 8’ not " --------- had a few to drown my sorrows I MEAN CELEBRATE tonight. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/191 "2015-07-31T03:34:35Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > Make that one of the original Myron Cope Terrible Towels. Terrible Towels are made in Wisconsin.😃 ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/192 "2015-07-31T04:25:43Z")
The only snake I like is Monty Python. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Buttercup\_Smith](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buttercup_smith/32/473_2.png) [@Buttercup\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buttercup_Smith)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/193 "2015-07-31T05:15:28Z")
There is no such thing as a good snake AFAIK. I CAN’t even watch them on teevee. My neighbor Joe ; now deceased loved snakes and said that most people are afraid of snakes due to the garden of Eden and our fear is innate and inbred through the millennia. makes sense to me. I know snakes have their place in the whole scheme of things and I try not to kill anything but I do not cotton to snakes. The creep from the Everglades will eventually make its way to my island. Those Python monsters will be the death of me. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/194 "2015-07-31T08:13:00Z")
Happy Birthday BBBobbio! ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/195 "2015-07-31T08:44:12Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > Speaking of the English, the old Toil & Strife is home again. And the very English person would have said “Trouble and Strife”… Blurf. I am tired, went to bed late and got up early so am not feeling much like being at irk today. The office is closing at lunchtime for a while, we’re all going to Favourite Lecturer’s husband’s funeral today. The good news is that it’s finally brightened up and the sun’s out. Nothing worse than funeralising in the rain. Other than that, nice quiet day in the orifice and hopefully a peaceful end to the week. The bonus is that I have a weekend at home with no plans and no responsibilities. Not even visiting the doting parent this time as she’s got things going on with her friends and the rambling club. Happy birthday, BBBobbio! ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/196 "2015-07-31T09:28:06Z")
Up, caffeinated, off to work in da Hood. I’m off tomorrow so Firday is my Firday. Happy Birthday **BBBobbio**!!! ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/197 "2015-07-31T10:14:14Z")
Good Mornin’ Y’all! Up and caffeinatin’. _YAWN_ 'Tis 76 Amurrkin out with a predicted high of 94 and afternoon rain/tstorms/apocalypse. We shall see. I went out to get the paper this mornin’. I have to sorta walk under a tree to get to the mailbox. I told the snakes that I know they’re up there waitin’ to jump on me. I guess they were disappointed I was in on their little game cause they stayed in the tree. 😃 I get to irk from da cave today. YAY! I have a bunch of end of month stuff to get done and I can do that from here as well as the orifice. Also, we’re goin’ to the local good seafood place for dindin bein’ as I have my bday coupon for a free meal. And now this… \ CLEARIN’ THROAT \ \*\* HAAAPPPYYY BIIIRRRTTTHHHDDDAAAYYY TOOOOOO YOUUUUUU!!! HAAAPPPYYY BIIIRRRTTTHHHDDDAAAYYY TOOOOOO YOUUUUUU!!! HAAAPPPYYY BIIIRRRTTTHHHDDDAAAYYY DEEEAAARRR BBBOOOBBBIIIOOO!!! HAAAPPPYYY BIIIRRRTTTHHHDDDAAAYYY TOOOOOO YOUUUUUU!!! \*\* Ok, that’s all I got. I need more caffeine and to feed rumbly tummy. Then I shall make myself presentable because one should always make oneself presentable. Happy Firday Y’all! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/198 "2015-07-31T10:23:34Z")
_ **Happy BBBobbio Day!!** _ Taz didn’t want us to sleep in, so I left my sweetie to grab a few more ZZZs and I’ve tended to Higglet. After we run our early morning errand (once he arises, of course) which includes breakfast, I’ve got a dozen peaches to scald, peel, and slice. Most will be frozen, but a few will become part of Peach Streusal Pie. That’s the extent of my planned activities. Everything else will just be made up as I go along. Thus endeth the month. Happy Firday! ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/199 "2015-07-31T10:31:24Z")
**Happy BBBobbio Day!!** ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305/200 "2015-07-31T10:47:44Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > Just remember that all that old first aide stuff about sucking the poison out is old wives tales; get to an ER rapido and let the professionals handle it. “You’re gonna die, Lone Ranger!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-didnt-see-one-so-i-started-one-mmp/726305.md?page=11)