# The "I Hate My Hair" Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 19, 2006, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339 "2006-06-19T19:38:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/41 "2006-06-20T12:18:26Z")
[QUOTE=Rebecca DiMwitter] I have a hideous cowlick in the very front, making me look like a total horror without bangs, yet WITH bangs they are always uneven because of said cowlick boosting up one side while the other lays, of course, FLAT. [/QUOTE] Me too! However, in recent years I have outsmarted the cowlick by cutting my bangs crooked. If I want them to appear to be cut straight across, I actually cut them so they are long in the center. If I want them to sweep towards the side, I keep them long on the “flat” side and cut them short on the “cowlick”. And for the love of all that is holy, only cut bangs when your hair is bone dry! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/42 "2006-06-20T12:19:28Z")
I had one of your hairs in my soup yesterday. I pointed at it, turned to the wife and said “Look, the root of all **Eve** l.” She acknowledged that I was a retard. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/43 "2006-06-20T12:29:37Z")
[QUOTE=Dung Beetle] Me too! However, in recent years I have outsmarted the cowlick by cutting my bangs crooked. If I want them to appear to be cut straight across, I actually cut them so they are long in the center. If I want them to sweep towards the side, I keep them long on the “flat” side and cut them short on the “cowlick”. And for the love of all that is holy, only cut bangs when your hair is bone dry! [/QUOTE] I’ve got a cowlick at my bangs, but it’s not a really intense one, and I wear my bangs on the long side. More weight…less cowlick. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/44 "2006-06-20T12:40:04Z")
Damned cows. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/45 "2006-06-20T13:24:53Z")
hats! hats do much to tame hair and there is that aura of mystery. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/46 "2006-06-20T14:28:55Z")
[QUOTE=Eve] It’s true you fellows _are_ more plagued with the baldness issue; but at least you can grow snazzy beards to “hide a multitude of chins.” [/QUOTE] Well, my mom’s working on a moustache, at least. Perhaps she’ll expand to a beard? I hate my hair too. When I lived in Atlanta I spent all my paycheck on fabulous haircuts from dear Louie. I’ve never been happy with my hair since, ever. Got spoiled. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/47 "2006-06-20T15:27:51Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] You SO don’t know Eve. 😉 Jeans? JEANS? I think not. [/QUOTE] The jeans, tie dye, etc woulda been worn by me, silly…dressing the part to sing the song. Note that the fact that I can’t carry a tune in a pickup truck is cheerfully ignored for the purposes of this excercise. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/48 "2006-06-20T16:09:12Z")
[QUOTE=Oakminster] The jeans, tie dye, etc woulda been worn by me, silly…dressing the part to sing the song. Note that the fact that I can’t carry a tune in a pickup truck is cheerfully ignored for the purposes of this excercise. 😛 [/QUOTE] D’oh! Sorry. I’m hard of reading today. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/49 "2006-06-20T16:59:52Z")
I was in a hate-my-hair phase, so I went to get it cut. My hairdresser\* cut it all off. Now I hate my head. \*did I just type the phrase “my hairdresser” unironically? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/50 "2006-06-20T19:55:49Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] Okay, Eve’s hair did shoot my dog. But it was self-defense. Sparky was usually a good dog but he got mean when he’d been drinking. [/QUOTE] Mmm, I don’t know. I think Eve’s hair shot your dog just to watch it dye. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/51 "2006-06-22T17:02:06Z")
Bump because I felt this fun thread shouldn’t “die” out on a bad-punny note. 😉 I hope that’s OK. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/52 "2006-06-22T17:39:53Z")
So, I went to one of those “every goddam magazine in the world” stores, looking for a hair mag that might give me cutting/styling tips. They had about a dozen hair magazines, but all of them were for girls under 25 who were either in the prostitution or traveling carnival professions. What’s a middle-aged lady to _do?_ ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/53 "2006-06-22T17:58:43Z")
[QUOTE=Eve] all of them were for girls under 25 who were either in the prostitution or traveling carnival professions. [/QUOTE] It should be noted that the two are not mutually exclusive. At least in my area.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/54 "2006-06-22T18:00:28Z")
[QUOTE=Eve] So, I went to one of those “every goddam magazine in the world” stores, looking for a hair mag that might give me cutting/styling tips. They had about a dozen hair magazines, but all of them were for girls under 25 who were either in the prostitution or traveling carnival professions. What’s a middle-aged lady to _do?_ [/QUOTE] Have you looked around on line? There are some sites with pretty decent hair-do pictures. However, as one middle-aged lady to another…I’m considering going to a high-end salon and letting someone who really knows what they’re doing diagnose my hideous mop and give me a good, custom designed cut. Then I go to my regular middle of the road girl for maintenance. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/55 "2006-06-22T18:52:32Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] Bump because I felt this fun thread shouldn’t “die” out on a bad-punny note. 😉 I hope that’s OK. [/QUOTE] Gah! You made me go back and read it _again!_ ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/56 "2006-06-22T19:06:42Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] I’m considering going to a high-end salon and letting someone who really knows what they’re doing diagnose my hideous mop and give me a good, custom designed cut. Then I go to my regular middle of the road girl for maintenance. [/QUOTE] An excellent idea . . . But NYC is chockful of high-end salons, and you can easily pay $300 to wind up looking like a girl under 25 either in the prostitution or traveling carnival professions. I wanna bring a photo with me and say, “I want _that_.” ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/57 "2006-06-22T19:50:52Z")
[QUOTE=Eve] An excellent idea . . . But NYC is chockful of high-end salons, and you can easily pay $300 to wind up looking like a girl under 25 either in the prostitution or traveling carnival professions. I wanna bring a photo with me and say, “I want _that_.” [/QUOTE] Yeah, there’s always that chance. I know I want to try this method, but I just can’t part with that much money for a _'do_ that might be a _'don’t._ I already spend $120 a pop for highlights. And they’re not even dramatic! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/58 "2006-06-22T20:03:36Z")
Here are some mid-length styles on mostly famous women. Some, not too fussy. Others…you’ll have to mentally extract the “touch o’ slut” to see if it would work in the real world. [http://www.totalhair.net/new-hairstyles-medium/new-hairstyles-medium1.php](http://www.totalhair.net/new-hairstyles-medium/new-hairstyles-medium1.php) ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/59 "2006-06-22T20:41:48Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] Here are some mid-length styles on mostly famous women. [/QUOTE] Too long: I’m thinking more “Cynthia Nixon in season one of _Sex and the City_.” Real short at the back and sides; just long enough at the top and front for some _foufing_. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339/60 "2006-06-22T20:43:09Z")
. . . and, I repeat, keep in mind I will invariably wind up looking like [this](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_%22Alfalfa%22_Switzer). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-hate-my-hair-thread/361339.md?page=4)