# The "I love lawyers" thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 24, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944 "2005-07-24T19:25:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Campion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/1 "2005-07-24T19:25:11Z")
There are a number of our favorite Dopers who will be taking the bar exam this week across the US. This is the thread to tell them good luck and post your well-wishes. So, **Big Bad Voodoo Lou** and **anu-la1979** and **villa** and, um, anyone else taking the bar: you’ll do great! Bar story: a friend taking the bar finished an essay section early, so she left the hall to go have a smoke. There was another guy outside smoking, so they chatted. He asked her, “What’d you write for the essay on part B?” Which is when she realized the essay had _two_ parts, A and B, and she’d only answered A. But she passed! Here’s some free advice as you do your last bit of studying before the bar:[ul][li]Securities: Neither a tipper nor a tippee be[/li][li]Property: Avoid your unborn widows and make sure the interest vests, if at all, within a life in being plus twenty-one[/li][li]Civil Procedure: a state has jurisdiction over the people and things within its boundaries[/li][li]Torts: Negligence is duty, breach, causation, damages[/li]Ethics: It’s wrong to steal from your client[/ul]With those in mind, you’re sure to pass. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![KSO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@KSO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KSO)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/2 "2005-07-24T20:01:58Z")
1. Make sure you have your ear plugs. 2. Eat well, get some sleep, and try to get some exercise this week, even if it’s just a 10 minute walk. 3. Wear a t-shirt but bring a sweater in case the room is cold. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![aeropl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@aeropl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aeropl)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/3 "2005-07-25T02:53:55Z")
Good luck guys. I just took the LSAT so I can (almost) feel your pain, or pleasure as it may be. I know one guy who took 3 times to pass the bar, but remember most people pass the first time. If I get into law school I will be in the same boat in about 4 years. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/4 "2005-07-25T03:11:20Z")
> [@aeropl](#): > > I know one guy who took 3 times to pass the bar, but remember most people pass the first time. ☹ :mad: ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/5 "2005-07-25T03:19:49Z")
A friend of mine’s girlfriend is taking the bar this week, too … in Virginia, I think (either that or Maryland). Good luck, everyone! 🙂 (And don’t worry, **Lou**!) ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/6 "2005-07-25T04:02:33Z")
I also have a friend taking the bar this week. Good luck, Elliot. Hey, **EnderW24** passed, you certainly can! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/7 "2005-07-25T05:39:21Z")
My older brother went back to school for his law degree when he was 32. I couldn’t be prouder of him. One of my close friends is dealing with a nightmare of an estate left over from her parents’ deaths. Her lawyer has been walking her through every step of the way, giving support, explaining things, backing her up, and tackling the stuff she just can’t deal with. I’ve never met him, but I’m knitting him a scarf. Out of alpaca. (All the knitting afficianados out there are going “oooooooh…”) ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/8 "2005-07-25T13:32:18Z")
Here’s another tip – know whether your state has contributory or comparative negligence before you enter the exam room. Other than that, just be cool – you don’t need to get an A, you just need to get a C-. You’ve got plenty of time. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/9 "2005-07-25T14:22:24Z")
Sleep the night before. It is not possible to cram 3 years’ worth of legal education into the eight hours before your exam. If you don’t know it by then, you _don’t know it_; the sleep will stand you in better stead than 8 hours of frantic cramming. Remain calm. In as much as possible. You have plenty of time. And remember duty. No duty = no tort. ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/10 "2005-07-25T21:21:04Z")
I’ve been cooking all week for my friend Sharon, who takes the bar tomorrow and Wednesday (New York). Here’s hoping the karma comes back to me in two years. 😉 Good luck, everyone! ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/11 "2005-07-25T21:32:44Z")
> [@Campion](#): > > Ethics: It’s wrong to steal from your client That seems like a pretty narrow reading. 😉 I have no friends who are gearing up to take the bar soon, but I have a good friend who’s a lawyer, and another starting law school in the fall. To those about to test, good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/12 "2005-07-25T21:46:52Z")
I love a lawyer! At the age of 48, and after spending half of those years working as a legal secretary, my sister decided to go to law school. She graduated lastyear. Her CPA husband is currently going to law school, (him, I don’t love so much). They intend to spend their golden years, practicing law together. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/13 "2005-07-26T01:29:28Z")
I just arrived home from a office party for our bouncing new lawyer who articled with us and who was called to the bar last week. Good for him! Our firm is better for having him on board. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/14 "2005-07-26T02:04:08Z")
I’m sorry, but lawyers are the ruination of mankind. I have to hope that they all fail the bar. I clicked are this thread expecting jokes. Can’t believe it is serious. I apologize, but I equate Lawyers to pit bulls. I know some are good, but so many are so bad, I wish we could do away with the profession. If you wish to defend Lawyers, your best defense would be to pass laws to stop the sleazy advertising and disbar more of the sleazy ambulance chasers. 1. “America is a paradise of lawyers.” ~ David Brewer (1837-1910) American jurist, b. Smyrna, Asia Minor, assoc. justice, US Supreme Court More quotes about: America, Lawyers, Paradise * * * 1. “Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.” ~ Charles Lamb (1775-1834) British writer, poet, essayist & critic More quotes about: Children, Lawyers * * * 1. “LIAR, n. A lawyer with a roving commission.” ~ Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American satirist from The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce More quotes about: Lawyers * * * 1. “If it weren’t for lawyers, we wouldn’t need them.” ~ unknown More quotes about: Lawyers, Needs * * * 1. “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” ~ William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English poet, the greatest poet ever from King Henry VI, Part II, Act IV, scene ii. More quotes about: Lawyers * * * 1. “Deceive not thy physician, confesasor, nor lawyer.” ~ George Herbert (1593-1633) English clergyman, writer & metaphysical poet from “Jacula Prudentum,” 1651. More quotes about: Deception, Lawyers * * * 1. “LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.” ~ Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American satirist from The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce More quotes about: Laws, Lawyers * * * 1. “God works wonders now and then; Behold a lawyer, an honest man.” ~ Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American entrepreneur, statesman, scientist & philosopher More quotes about: God, Honesty, Lawyers * * * 1. “A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.” ~ Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American entrepreneur, statesman, scientist & philosopher * * * 1. “Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished.” ~ Jeremy Bentham (1748-1832) ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/15 "2005-07-26T02:13:26Z")
Way to shit all over a perfectly nice, supportive thread. :mad: Of course I can’t speak for **Campion** or anyone else who has posted, but I don’t accept either of your lame apologies. There’s no excuse for your post. ---
**Author:** ![Campion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/16 "2005-07-26T02:20:13Z")
I find your “opinions” stercoraceous, **jrfranchi** , but as this is not the Pit, permit me simply to suggest that you hie yourself off to a warmer clime, and there engage in activities suiting your level of interest and intelligence, perhaps utilizing materials commonly found around construction sites to amuse yourself. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/17 "2005-07-26T02:20:41Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > Way to shit all over a perfectly nice, supportive thread. :mad: Of course I can’t speak for **Campion** or anyone else who has posted, but I don’t accept either of your lame apologies. There’s no excuse for your post. It was not an apology. I am not joking. I really wish there were no more lawyers and very simple laws. I really could not believe that people would think it was good to have more lawyers. I feel like that would be the same as saying “I Love Nuclear Weopons”. Please, go into an honest profession instead. It is not too late. If you can pass the bar, you could probably have been a Teacher, Engineer, Nurse, Doctor, Truck Driver, Welder, Police officer, Fireman, Mechanic or any other respectable trade/profession. Why waste all that talent on the least needed field. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/18 "2005-07-26T02:31:42Z")
> [@jrfranchi](#): > > It was not an apology. > I am not joking. I really wish there were no more lawyers and very simple laws. I really could not believe that people would think it was good to have more lawyers. In every society, there will be disputes between people, and when disputes arise, there are two main ways to solve them, either by violence, or by the law. The law is more peaceful. And where there are laws, there will be people who study the law and specialize in it. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/19 "2005-07-26T02:34:00Z")
Attach a small flashlight to your keychain in case the lights go out. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944/20 "2005-07-26T02:38:52Z")
> [@Captain Amazing](#): > > In every society, there will be disputes between people, and when disputes arise, there are two main ways to solve them, either by violence, or by the law. The law is more peaceful. And where there are laws, there will be people who study the law and specialize in it. I will concede to your intelligent rebuttal. But, how many laws are too many and how many “people who study the law and specialize in it” are too many. Comedians should probably write laws, and then the average citizen would have a fighting change of understanding them. This is the last you’ll hear from me tonight, as I am off to sleep. But if you start a thread with a title like this, you have to expect some dissent. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-i-love-lawyers-thread/313944.md?page=2)