# The idea of women faking orgasms **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 4, 2012, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762 "2012-03-04T22:45:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/41 "2012-03-05T21:42:14Z")
> [@Folacin](#): > > I remember an episode of _Soap_ where Jessica and Mary are discussing their sex lives (I’m certain with a lot of euphemisms), and Jessica said that sometimes she’ll fake it to get it over with (as some have mentioned here). However, she said that was problem, since Chester would then think that that had been a good technique and would stick with it. So true… [QUOTE=OP linked article] **There’s a downside to all that noise** “It seems problematic to make arousal noises when one is actually bored or in pain,” she said. “That would be likely to convey misinformation to one’s partner, who is likely to think that this sexual activity is pleasing and should be repeated next time. I think that in general, honesty is the best policy.” [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/47e85d/32.png) [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3_20_59_or_bust)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/42 "2012-03-05T21:56:40Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Fine. I’ll be the one to float the old mysoginist joke: > Do you know why women fake orgasms? > > Because they think we care. I gotta agree with this. I imagine I’ve had more than one woman fake it with me, but…who really cares? I’m happy, and if she’s not, she really should have said something. ---
**Author:** ![3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/47e85d/32.png) [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3_20_59_or_bust)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/43 "2012-03-05T21:57:58Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I just wanted to point out current sequential thread titles: > > \*\*The idea of women faking orgasms > Mortifying slips of the tongue. \*\* I’m going to keep posting here until it’s next to: Happy Birthday Played on a Big Pipe Organ. Woot! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/44 "2012-03-06T03:11:07Z")
> [@polar\_bear](#): > > Faking an orgasm isn’t that difficult at all. Moisture, spasms, bucking hips. Some girls are better than it than others, but with a bit of practice girls can fake (and not the Meg Ryan kind of way) and have a naive guy believe it, even when fingers etc. are inserted. > > How I know? Having had many girls do this, only to be all fresh and fucking the next guy in a matter of minutes (and yes these are pros). Why would this be proof? I thought women didn’t have the refractory period like men do. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/45 "2012-03-06T03:24:15Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Why would this be proof? I thought women didn’t have the refractory period like men do. We don’t. Definitely not proof. Look guys. Some orgasms have spasms. Some orgasms don’t have spasms. Some spasms, believe it or not, don’t have orgasms. The two are not perfectly positively OR negatively correlated. And I’m not talking, “All women are different.” I’m talking that, for a particular woman, some of her orgasms will be associated with spams and some will not. Yes, faking is entirely possible, even with an attentive, tuned in lover. Yes, it’s not a good idea to make it a habit, but if it’s an occasional thing done for love rather than humiliation, I think it’s a white lie about on par with, “You were the most beautiful woman at the dinner party, dear!” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/46 "2012-03-06T03:45:49Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Why would this be proof? I thought women didn’t have the refractory period like men do. If you do it right, they do.🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/47 "2012-03-06T04:14:33Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I think it’s a white lie about on par with, “You were the most beautiful woman at the dinner party, dear!” I don’t understand. That’s never a lie when I say it to my chick. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/48 "2012-03-06T04:18:46Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I never watched\* Sienfield\*. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/49 "2012-03-06T12:00:34Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > I don’t understand. That’s never a lie when I say it to my chick. Guess mine wasn’t there. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/50 "2012-03-06T12:10:27Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I never watched\* Sienfield\*. I’ve never enjoyed _Seinfeld_, but I’ve pretended to. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/51 "2012-03-06T12:22:52Z")
As far as I can tell in my career of giving women orgasms, including my wife who sad to say is not going to lie to boost my ego ☹ 1.There is no way to tell when a woman has an orgasm, there have been times I have been eating her out for a minute and she sighs and says dammit why did you go straight for the clit like that I already came.(no noise, no squirming more than usual). Then there is the 10 minute epileptic seizure orgasm, then there have been the times I think she just had an orgasm and was mistaken. 2.Women do have a refractory period in my experience, or at least a period following an orgasm where sexual stimulation starts being uncomfortable and borderline painful. ---
**Author:** ![polar\_bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@polar\_bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/polar_bear)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/52 "2012-03-06T12:30:22Z")
Good to see I’m not the only one that has experienced that girls need some recuperation time…otherwise I really must have been doing something wrong:). ---
**Author:** ![\_Olive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/4af34b/32.png) [@\_Olive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Olive)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2012, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/53 "2012-03-25T04:58:10Z")
orgasms are fun …i can’t imagine how to begin to fake one … ---
**Author:** ![wheresmymind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@wheresmymind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheresmymind)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2012, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/54 "2012-03-25T05:50:56Z")
> [@Norse](#): > > I’ve got a problem really believing this. I’ve felt involuntary vaginal orgasm spasms, and I’ve felt voluntary kegels. To me (male), they feel different. Especially at the onset of each contraction. **Neither of the women I’ve been with** have been able to replicate the rhythm and the character of a real orgasm, at least when I’ve known that the vaginal contractions have been voluntary. And yes, we’ve tested, just for the fun of it. > > Sometimes, though, when the woman’s orgasm isn’t that intense, it can be difficult for me to feel the spasms at all. Especially if I’m busy coming myself. So it’s possible that someone I’ve been with has faked an orgasm that way. But I think you’ll have to have unusually good vaginal muscle control to fake the characteristic spasms that go with a strong female orgasm. > > Of course, it’s theoretically possible that I’ve been fooled all those years… Bolding mine. Wow, you mean you’ve had sex with TWO GIRLS? You sure must be an expert on the vagaries of female orgasms then! I mean, you’ve seen how not just one woman responds during orgasm, but TWO! Phew, Dr. Ruth better watch out! I don’t mean to cut you down, really. There was a time when even Wilt Chamberlain and Ghengis Khan had only been with two women. But someone with such experience claiming to have a good handle on female orgasms and the average woman’s “vaginal muscle control” is pretty naive, to the point of being almost cute. It’s like a 16 year old boy claiming to totally understand love and women, or like someone who has a dog claiming that they’d make an awesome parent. ---
**Author:** ![Quint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/76d3ee/32.png) [@Quint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quint)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2012, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/55 "2012-03-25T07:15:39Z")
I have experienced more than a few encounters when I was fairly sure some of the pleasure I was giving was enhanced. I have never minded, but was in fact greatful for their full throated encouragement. Fake or not, I felt like the king of the world. ---
**Author:** ![Norse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a9adbd/32.png) [@Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Norse)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2012, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/56 "2012-03-25T12:08:06Z")
> [@wheresmymind](#): > > Bolding mine. > > […] I’m terribly, terribly sorry that I wasn’t fully aware that “neither” means “none of two and only two”, not “none of more than two”. My deepest apologies for not having total knowledge of all nuances of the English language. In case you haven’t noticed, some of the posters on this board know English as a _second_ language. Or did you know that, but just couldn’t pass on the chance for a really, really funny snark? 'Cos it was sooo funny :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2012, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/57 "2012-03-25T12:18:57Z")
There was a scene in the British series “Goodnight Sweetheart”, where Nicholas was making small talk on the dance floor. He said to the lady “Do you come here often?” Reply: “Sometimes. Usually I fake it.” ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2012, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/58 "2012-03-25T13:21:02Z")
> [@wheresmymind](#): > > Bolding mine. > > Wow, you mean you’ve had sex with TWO GIRLS? You sure must be an expert on the vagaries of female orgasms then! I mean, you’ve seen how not just one woman responds during orgasm, but TWO! Phew, Dr. Ruth better watch out! > > I don’t mean to cut you down, really. There was a time when even Wilt Chamberlain and Ghengis Khan had only been with two women. But someone with such experience claiming to have a good handle on female orgasms and the average woman’s “vaginal muscle control” is pretty naive, to the point of being almost cute. It’s like a 16 year old boy claiming to totally understand love and women, or like someone who has a dog claiming that they’d make an awesome parent. Seen one, seen em all. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2012, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/59 "2012-03-25T14:08:48Z")
> [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > You can always trust the flush. [Correct](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flushing_(physiology)). > [@](#): > > Commonly referred to as the sex flush, vasocongestion (blushing, increased blood flow) of the skin can occur during all four phases of the human sexual response cycle. Studies show that the sex flush occurs in approximately 50–75% of females and 25% of males, yet not consistently. The sex flush tends to occur more often under warmer conditions and may not appear at all under cooler temperatures. > During the female sex flush, pinkish spots develop under the breasts, then spread to the breasts, torso, face, hands, soles of the feet, and possibly over the entire body. … > The sex flush typically disappears soon after orgasm occurs, but this may take up to two hours or so.. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2012, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762/60 "2012-03-25T14:23:46Z")
So the flush occurs in half of women, sometimes, during \*any \*phase of arousal, and sometimes disappears 2 hours after orgasm. I don’t understand why this is something to “trust” as evidence that a woman has had an orgasm. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-idea-of-women-faking-orgasms/614762.md?page=4)