# The Ill-Assorted Guard (kids' song)

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ill-assorted-guard-kids-song/72150>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [July 11, 2001, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ill-assorted-guard-kids-song/72150 "2001-07-11T22:48:10Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ill-assorted-guard-kids-song/72150/1 "2001-07-11T22:48:10Z")

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I used to hear this song on the old _Captain Kangaroo_ show in the late 50s and 60s. I only remember part of the lyrics:  
_A sword and a hammer and a hoe  
A rake and a raggedy mop  
A broom and a bat  
And a paper hat  
And a helmet with a feather on top.  
One is fat and one is thin  
One goes out while the other goes in  
One has (unintelligible)  
And one has none  
And one is eating a cinnamon bun…_  
I don’t remember any more lyrics. I used to irritate my sister by saying one was eating a “cinnamon bug.” 😃  
Anyone remember the rest of the lyrics, or know who perfomed the song?