# The "I'm Not Gay, But..." Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 27, 2009, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411 "2009-07-27T08:42:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2009, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/21 "2009-07-27T18:19:31Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > I like musicals, theatre, eating at little homey cafes with my Mom & her female friends. When Mom asks me clothes & jewelry advice, I can actually tell her what to wear & give good reasons for it. If Mom & I are going somewhere & we dress in similar colors, we laugh & usually don’t bother to change. > > And of course, I’m in my 40’s & live with Mom. Damn, I knew there was a harder case than I am somewhere, and you’re it. (42yo, live across bldg from 'rents, well dressed, musical, witty, noticeable lack of swagger) ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/22 "2009-07-27T18:23:39Z")
My fiancee isn’t gay, but he _loves_ to go antiquing and to flea markets. My fiancee isn’t gay, but he loves quiche and makes it very well. I’m not gay, but I wear comfy men’s shoes. I’m not gay, but I own _a lot_ of tools, power tools, and even a high quality tool belt. (My fiancee thinks it’s cute when I do work and put on the tool belt. Cute as in “adorable,” not “sexy”) ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2009, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/23 "2009-07-27T20:21:00Z")
> [@Jettboy](#): > > OK, I AM gay; I just like sex with women rather then men. Occasionally I’ve mused that I’m a gay man trapped in a lesbian’s body. I can’t be bothered with makeup, hair, or fashion. I have an enviable collection of power tools, and use them. I have quite a few Indigo Girls and Joan Armatrading CDs in my collection. In Jr high I had a secret crush on Kristy McNichol. And, I enjoy having sex with someone with a penis. I can aslo belt out quite a few show tunes. ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2009, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/24 "2009-07-27T20:57:45Z")
I’m not gay, but I never wear makeup. I don’t own any kind of shoes other than flip-flops and sneakers. I hate shopping. And I would totally do Olivia Wilde. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2009, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/25 "2009-07-27T21:06:38Z")
I am not gay but I like to watch HGTV’s Design Star. I also color coordinate my Chuck Taylors to my shirt (colored t-shirt, nothing fancy or frilly) and sometimes my hat (one solid color, straight brimmed). That’s not too gay is it? ---
**Author:** ![SCSimmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/26 "2009-07-28T03:21:14Z")
I wish I remember where I saw the script of this Tripod (Aussie comedy/music troupe) bit … “I’m not a geek! I just … speak Klingon.” “Oh, so you’re kind of like me! I’m not gay, I just love cock.” [Long, awkard pause.] ---
**Author:** ![alterego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@alterego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alterego)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/27 "2009-07-28T03:37:08Z")
I’m not gay but I sure do like it when my girlfriend massages my prostate. (have i said too much?? i jest…maybe…🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/28 "2009-07-28T03:41:55Z")
I’m not gay but I own and ride horses. (For those not familiar, about 90% of adult horse riders are females.) Note: Said females are mostly straight, so any guy having a tough time meeting women should get himself down to the local barn/riding school. If you’re single you’ll be popular. The women are usually confident, self sufficient and able to spare a few hundred dollars a month to spend on horses. A guy could look in worse places. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/29 "2009-07-28T03:46:48Z")
**John** : What is the average age of the women in this fantasy world you speak of? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/30 "2009-07-28T04:17:04Z")
I’m not gay but I love to suck cocks while taking it up the ass. But I swear I’m not gay! ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/31 "2009-07-28T04:50:40Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > I’m not gay, but at parties, family gatherings, and what-not, I generally would rather hang out with the women than the guys. Most of my friends are women or gay. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/32 "2009-07-28T06:09:37Z")
I’m not gay, but I hate putting on most make-up, except for lipstick. Also can’t stand high heels. I wear wedge-heel sandals to work when it’s hot, and 2"-heel pumps with nylons when it’s cold, but switch to flats as soon as I possibly can. My mom says one must suffer to be beautiful. I say life’s too short to wear shoes that hurt. OK, maybe I am gay - in the sense of being a gay man living in a woman’s body. I mean, how else can I explain my fondness for Erasure? Oh yeah, and then there’s my love for slash fanfiction as well. And of course, I enjoy having sex with men, not that I get to do much of that nowadays. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/33 "2009-07-28T06:19:45Z")
I’m not gay but I’m single and I wuv my wittle kitty cat. I’m not gay but I’m going to go puke now. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/34 "2009-07-28T06:21:00Z")
Now I’m not gay, but I enjoy a good stiff hard cock up my ass. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/35 "2009-07-28T06:39:21Z")
Can we at least wait until the second page before anyone makes that joke for the fourth time? ---
**Author:** ![alterego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@alterego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alterego)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/36 "2009-07-28T07:10:56Z")
> [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](#): > > I’m not gay but I […] ride horses. Impressive!! ---
**Author:** ![Other\_Dreams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Other\_Dreams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Other_Dreams)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/37 "2009-07-28T09:26:27Z")
I think this thread would have done better as “I’m Not Gay/Straight, But…”. But meh, that’s just the gay man in me feeling left out. 🙂 ~S.P.I.~ ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/38 "2009-07-28T11:48:29Z")
> [@Stauderhorse](#): > > I’m not gay, but I never wear makeup. > > I don’t own any kind of shoes other than flip-flops and sneakers. > > I hate shopping. > And I would totally do Olivia Wilde. If you cook I wanna marry you… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/39 "2009-07-28T12:42:55Z")
> [@Stauderhorse](#): > > And I would totally do Olivia Wilde. So would I… ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411/40 "2009-07-28T12:57:02Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > **John** : What is the average age of the women in this fantasy world you speak of? A mathematician I’m not. Let’s say they run from ages 10 to 70, with slight over-representation in the 15 to 20 group. Really, other than the few extra teenagers they are pretty well distributed, and then the teenagers are often accompanied by their moms, so there ya’ go! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-im-not-gay-but-thread/504411.md?page=3)