# The Impossible pop quiz **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 22, 2010, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-impossible-pop-quiz/551085 "2010-08-22T19:05:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-impossible-pop-quiz/551085/41 "2010-08-24T18:22:20Z")
> [@](#): > > During my senior year in high school (several years ago) my english teacher (who must have been the strictest teacher I’ve ever had) put these bonus questions on one of her test. > > What is your teacher’s name? > What is her favorite color? One of the profs here, on a day when most of the class was absent (the last day before Thanksgiving break, or some such), told all of the students there present what her favorite color was, and also told them that it would be on the final. It was. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-impossible-pop-quiz/551085/42 "2010-08-24T18:31:05Z")
I’m trying to find a copy of the Systems Analyst Test that was going around in the 70s. I think it appeared in Byte Magazine, along with other publications. It included questions of the nature: ‘Describe human thought. Compare to other forms of thought’. Anybody out there old enough and geeky enough to remember that? ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Norse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/big_norse/32/9954_2.png) [@Big\_Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Norse)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-impossible-pop-quiz/551085/43 "2010-08-24T21:00:29Z")
I had a calculus pop quiz with the question: Calculus is: a. a kidney stone b. a branch of mathematics that deals with limits and the differentiation and integration of functions of one or more variables c. a type of spider d. all of the above I got it wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-impossible-pop-quiz/551085/44 "2010-08-24T22:23:53Z")
> [@Emily\_Litella](#): > > > [@powerjacob](#): > > > > During my senior year in high school (several years ago) my english teacher (who must have been the strictest teacher I’ve ever had) put these bonus questions on one of her test. > > > > What is your teacher’s name? > > What is her favorite color? > > So what happened if you got them wrong? 😉 You had to answer the ultimate question, or fail. That question was, of course… “What… is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?” ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-impossible-pop-quiz/551085/45 "2010-08-24T22:28:31Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > I’m trying to find a copy of the Systems Analyst Test that was going around in the 70s. I think it appeared in Byte Magazine, along with other publications. It included questions of the nature: ‘Describe human thought. Compare to other forms of thought’. > Anybody out there old enough and geeky enough to remember that? The link in my post # 39 shows: > [@](#): > > 1. PHILOSOPHY > Sketch the development of human thought and estimate its significance. > Compare with the development of any other kind of thought. Old geek, here. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-impossible-pop-quiz/551085/46 "2010-08-25T01:48:44Z")
> [@powerjacob](#): > > During my senior year in high school (several years ago) my english teacher (who must have been the strictest teacher I’ve ever had) put these bonus questions on one of her test. > > What is your teacher’s name? > What is her favorite color? In college, the first two questions on my Government professor’s final exams were always: 1. What is the title of your textbook? 2. Who wrote it? I had him for three separate classes. ---
**Author:** ![GHO57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/df788c/32.png) [@GHO57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GHO57)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-impossible-pop-quiz/551085/47 "2010-08-25T01:51:03Z")
> [@Balance](#): > > > [@Emily\_Litella](#): > > > > So what happened if you got them wrong? 😉 > > You had to answer the ultimate question, or fail. That question was, of course… > > “What… is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?” African or European? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-impossible-pop-quiz/551085/48 "2010-08-25T02:17:51Z")
> [@](#): > > In college, the first two questions on my Government professor’s final exams were always: > > 1. What is the title of your textbook? > 2. Who wrote it? Wait, textbooks have titles? Usually they just have authors, and if the same author wrote multiple books, the color of the cover. Like, “Look it up in Jackson”, or “Do you have a copy of Schutz’s green book?”. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-impossible-pop-quiz/551085/49 "2010-08-25T04:20:35Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > A high school teacher of mine told the story about a philosophy class he took in college. The final, upon which a good chunk of the grade was based on was one question. “Why?” He wrote “Because.” Handed it in, walked out and got an A on the exam. I had a philosophy final quite like this, but I spent the entire two-hour exam period writing my answer in the form of a play. An absurdist (“Hi, Godot!”)-meets-The Bard-meets-medieval morality play. Starring Davy Hume, Jerry Bentham, and “One (1) Goose, Blue.” Prof was amused by the details, like the stage directions (“Exeunt Stage Left amidst the peal of broken crockery”) and bios of the actors. And, as you can tell, I’m still proud of it. Got a chance to study with Karl Popper based on that final alone! (But I thought Madison, WI sounded like more fun than a remote English village. I was right). ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-impossible-pop-quiz/551085/50 "2010-08-25T04:53:46Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > > [@TriPolar](#): > > > > I’m trying to find a copy of the Systems Analyst Test that was going around in the 70s. I think it appeared in Byte Magazine, along with other publications. It included questions of the nature: ‘Describe human thought. Compare to other forms of thought’. > > Anybody out there old enough and geeky enough to remember that? > > The link in my post # 39 shows: > > > [@](#): > > > > 1. PHILOSOPHY > > Sketch the development of human thought and estimate its significance. > > Compare with the development of any other kind of thought. > > Old geek, here. 😉 Just noticed that, and thanks! ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-impossible-pop-quiz/551085/51 "2010-08-25T14:06:48Z")
> [@Johnny\_Q](#): > > [Here’s](http://komplexify.com/epsilon/2009/05/21/ultimate-test/) one version in its entirety. A couple examples: > 10. POLITICAL SCIENCE > There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its social-political effects, if any. Successfully doing #10 has to at least qualify as a master’s project. Also from that page: > [@](#): > > 1. ECONOMICS > Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, and the wave theory of light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question. Pfft. If I pull that off, I should get a Ph.D. in something. Sounds like an English project somehow (even though none of the elements are English). > [@](#): > > 1. ASTRONOMY > Define the universe. Give three examples. > > 2. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE > Describe in detail. Be objective and specific. These I could probably approach reasonable approximations of answers to. I mean, c’mon, only three? ---
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-impossible-pop-quiz/551085/52 "2010-08-25T22:05:39Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > > [@SoulFrost](#): > > > > In college, the first two questions on my Government professor’s final exams were always: > > > > 1. What is the title of your textbook? > > 2. Who wrote it? > > Wait, textbooks have titles? Usually they just have authors, and if the same author wrote multiple books, the color of the cover. Like, “Look it up in Jackson”, or “Do you have a copy of Schutz’s green book?”. Well, it was during Freshman and Sophomore years… pretty much just glorified highschool. My Statistics professor liked to write his own textbooks. He used the pseudonym _Professor Phlunkum_. ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-impossible-pop-quiz/551085/53 "2010-08-26T00:01:27Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > > [@AllFreedomUnlessDefyingScience](#): > > > > I seem to recall that the directions at the top of the test included “Read all questions fully before beginning to work” and of course, the final question was: “Ignore the preceding X questions. What is 1+1?” or something to that effect. > > My 8th grade science teacher did that to us once. She gave us this big lecture on reading all the directions first (especially since we’d be working with somewhat caustic chemicals and fire). At the end of the class she gave us a little pop quiz. I still remember rolling my eyes knowing exactly what was going to happen. I scanned the quiz and the last item said “Ignore all the previous steps and sit quietly at your desk” I looked up at her, she winked at me and that was it. Meanwhile the other students are hopping on one foot, drawing pictures of simple machines, counting how many light fixtures are in the room and a bunch of other pseudo-scavenger hunt type things. These tests peeve me in their concept, because who’s to say the final “Ignore everything above” instruction should take priority over all the other conflicting instructions? Clearly, it’s not possible to act in accordance with _all_ the provided instructions; accordingly, I take it to be my prerogative to choose which subset (perhaps the largest possible…) to follow. Perhaps it’s the last step I should ignore because of all the previous steps telling me to do something else, rather than the reverse. Of course, if it actually matters that the teacher consider my actions correct, I’ll do whatever’s easiest to reach that goal, usually by just taking the “Ignore everything else” path and avoiding self-righteous lectures on the priority ambiguities. But it still peeves me… ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-impossible-pop-quiz/551085/54 "2010-08-26T00:11:53Z")
> [@Indistinguishable](#): > > These tests peeve me in their concept, because who’s to say the final “Ignore everything above” instruction should take priority over all the other conflicting instructions? Clearly, it’s not possible to act in accordance with _all_ the provided instructions; accordingly, I take it to be my prerogative to choose which subset (perhaps the largest possible…) to follow. Perhaps it’s the last step I should ignore because of all the previous steps telling me to do something else, rather than the reverse. > > Of course, if it actually matters that the teacher consider my actions correct, I’ll do whatever’s easiest to reach that goal, usually by just taking the “Ignore everything else” path and avoiding self-righteous lectures on the priority ambiguities. But it still peeves me… You know these things are jokes right? ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-impossible-pop-quiz/551085/55 "2010-08-26T00:20:00Z")
Yes (hence “if it actually matters that the teacher consider my actions correct”, the qualification being because it usually doesn’t). I’m just saying, I find the concept of the joke slightly peeving in its mistakenly smug “Ha! Fooled you”. It doesn’t keep me up at nights or anything. ---
**Author:** ![Rala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@Rala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rala)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-impossible-pop-quiz/551085/56 "2010-08-26T03:34:35Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > > [@Rala](#): > > > > 😕 The pancreas is for regulating blood sugar by producing glucagon and insulin. Did I miss something here? > > Yes, you’ve missed that the anecdote supposedly took place \*before \*the 1860’s, at a time when the function of the pancreas wasn’t known. (Insulin wasn’t discovered until 1921, and the link between the pancreas and diabetes was established in 1889. See [history](http://www.pancreasclub.com/pancreas_history.htm).) Ah, OK. Thanks! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-impossible-pop-quiz/551085.md?page=2)