# The Incident **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 5, 2018, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229 "2018-02-05T17:26:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2018, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/101 "2018-02-09T13:00:10Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#): > > Take your pick: > > 1. State for the record that you believe that PackerMan is giving us a grossly inaccurate [description](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=20774817&postcount=53), or > > 2. Quit [JAQing off](https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Just_asking_questions) in public. Take **your** pick - [ol][li]Yes, you’ve seen the video, or [\*]No, you haven’t seen the video.[/ol][/li] Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2018, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/102 "2018-02-09T15:02:18Z")
> [@PackerMan](#): > > My wife is nice to a fault. She is very forgiving and doesn’t want this person’s life ruined over a mistake. Assaulting a 6 year old child is not a “mistake”. It is an assault. It is a crime. If someone’s life is “ruined” by their own decision to act in an inappropriate manner that is on them. YOU should be protecting your child. > [@](#): > > We both agree that the aide should never work with kids again. Then press charges. If you do anything less this person might wind up working with kids again. > [@](#): > > Our initial reaction was that our son can be challenging to deal with when he gets upset and that he may have needed to be restrained. Upon learning more details, it is apparent that he was not behaving in such a way that it would be been necessary and the technique used was not one that would be acceptable in any circumstance. Then your son was _abused_ and _assaulted_ and the _criminal_ who performed those actions should be punished under the law. Honestly, as someone who was brutalized for _years_ and the adults around me excusing it as “mistakes” and “misunderstandings” I can not comprehend this. Do you want to protect your child? Then PRESS CHARGES. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2018, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/103 "2018-02-09T15:18:22Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > Firing or imprisoning anybody is not going to undo anything that has already occurred. Maybe not - but it certainly could prevent it happening _again_. Bullies who aren’t punished continue to be bullies and continue to hurt people. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2018, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/104 "2018-02-09T15:19:33Z")
Sorry if post 102 came across a little harsh - I hadn’t read the entire thread when I responded. Good on the OP for going to bat for their kid. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2018, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/105 "2018-02-09T16:40:44Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Take **your** pick - [ol][li]Yes, you’ve seen the video, or [\*]No, you haven’t seen the video.[/ol][/li] > Regards, > Shodan If we can’t take what the OP is saying at face value. That is, assume he’s telling the truth about what happened, what the kid said, what the video showed, what the police/investigators/lawyers/school etc have been discussing, then there’s no point in discussing this further. Personally, I’m choosing to believe it all and I’d like to offer up any help that I can as do most others in the thread. If _you_ don’t believe what he has to say, absent any evidence showing the OP is pulling a fast one on us, all you’re doing is derailing the thread. None of us, so far as I know, have seen the video or even know any of the people in question. What difference does that make? What you’re doing is no different than me going into a thread you started and saying “I don’t believe you, I think you’re making this all up”. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2018, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/106 "2018-02-09T16:43:16Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Maybe not - but it certainly could prevent it happening _again_. Bullies who aren’t punished continue to be bullies and continue to hurt people. See Moderator instructions in **post #86**. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2018, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/107 "2018-02-09T17:24:03Z")
My apologies - I had not read that far when I posted my comment, it will not happen again. My statement was intended more as a general statement than a dig at the quoted poster. ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2018, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/108 "2018-02-09T17:44:14Z")
Maybe the last time this adult beat up a child, _those_ parents didn’t sign the criminal complaint … I would encourage the OP to sign … but if not, there will be another child beat up by this adult and maybe then the parents will sign … ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2018, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/109 "2018-02-09T23:20:22Z")
> [@tnetennba](#): > > Just give your support without the proxy parenting. He knows how to raise his kid. He knows. I thought it was good advice. ---
**Author:** ![Noborry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noborry/32/2564_2.png) [@Noborry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noborry)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/110 "2018-02-10T06:23:12Z")
The simple fact that the parents cannot be bothered to watch the video, and would rather operate on hearsay and emotion, tells me that they are not fit parents. Do the kid a favor, put him with a family that actually cares. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/111 "2018-02-10T06:38:09Z")
> [@Noborry](#): > > The simple fact that the parents cannot be bothered to watch the video, and would rather operate on hearsay and emotion, tells me that they are not fit parents. > Do the kid a favor, put him with a family that actually cares. Your post shows that you apparently did not read the entire thread. The father, at least did watch the video. ---
**Author:** ![Backcountry\_Medic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Backcountry\_Medic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Backcountry_Medic)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/112 "2018-02-10T11:09:47Z")
It’s been touched on but I want to be very clear, child abuse is on par with rape in terms of a patterned, escalated and repeated behavior. The same way there are very few spontaneous, heat of the moment, ‘just that one time’ rapes; it’s extremely likely that she has other ‘incidents’ like this before, just maybe they were ‘less serious’, unreported, charges weren’t pressed or the child wasn’t able to tell someone what had happened. As you said yourself, there weren’t any mitigating circumstances, this wasn’t an accident and she doesn’t even seem to have empathy for your child. As an unofficial spokesperson for children and humanity in general, I beseech you and your wife to stand up scum like this and prevent her from interacting with children in the future. I have seen and treated far too many victims of child abuse where the perpetrator was quietly ‘let go’ from several other incidents only to have one final assault end up causing a traumatic brain injury or death. Don’t count on the bus service or the school to do the right thing, they will benefit most from whitewashing the whole thing quietly and sending the aide to be someone else’s problem. I was honestly angry at both you and your wife after reading your blase take in the OP regarding watching the video, pressing charges, doubting your child; but I see that you are working to rectify most of my concerns. I can see where your wife is coming from, in terms of picking your battles, but please this is battle you should definitely pick. You have a chance to do the right thing and likely pay it forward to people you will never meet. Remind your wife that the opposite of good isn’t evil, but apathy. Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/113 "2018-02-10T14:55:54Z")
> [@Noborry](#): > > The simple fact that the parents cannot be bothered to watch the video, and would rather operate on hearsay and emotion, tells me that they are not fit parents. > Do the kid a favor, put him with a family that actually cares. Seriously, read the whole damned thread before you post something so rude and unhelpful. You need to come back into this thread and apologize. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/114 "2018-02-10T16:02:46Z")
Dial back the vitriol everyone. You can express alternative points of view without being insulting. Especially if you have your facts wrong. > [@Noborry](#): > > The simple fact that the parents cannot be bothered to watch the video, and would rather operate on hearsay and emotion, tells me that they are not fit parents. > Do the kid a favor, put him with a family that actually cares. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2018, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/115 "2018-02-10T19:02:25Z")
How’s your son doing, **PackerMan**? ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2018, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/116 "2018-02-12T16:22:12Z")
> [@Noborry](#): > > The simple fact that the parents cannot be bothered to watch the video, and would rather operate on hearsay and emotion, tells me that they are not fit parents. > Do the kid a favor, put him with a family that actually cares. {notes join date) (notes guest status) (wonders when that will change to Banned) Answering more seriously: There’s a hell of a difference between “cannot be bothered” and “can’t stomach the idea of watching a film of a child being abused”. Any further observations on this “post” should probably be taken to the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![PackerMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@PackerMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PackerMan)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/117 "2018-03-02T21:38:37Z")
Bump for anyone who is interested First of all, PackerBoy is doing well. His behavior at school definitely took a nosedive after the incident. The past week has been much better. He is off of school today (teacher’s institute) and has been anxiously awaiting the delivery of his new BeyBlades that he is getting for having 5 “green” days in a row. A couple of updates: DCFS called to inform us that their investigation is closed. It will be on file in their database for 5 years. So anytime she is subject to a background check, it will be flagged. A child victim’s advocate from the County States Attorney called and gave me a bunch of info. She has been charged with two felony assault charges. Battery to a child and Battery in a public place. Bond was set at $50K and she posted the $5K bail. She resigned from her job. We are supposed to get a file with details on the charges, court dates, etc. and the States Attorney office is supposed to contact us to explain everything. I was glad to get an update and to see that all officials involved have taken it seriously and been very supportive to my son and us. So that’s where we stand now. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/118 "2018-03-02T23:40:40Z")
I’m glad **PackerBoy** is recovering. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2018, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/119 "2018-03-02T23:45:40Z")
I Googled beyblades and I still don’t know what they are. 😃 I’m so glad your son is putting it behind him. The whole thing was obviously quite serious. I’m glad that person won’t be working with children again, or any humans, actually. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2018, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229/120 "2018-03-03T00:02:44Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > I Googled beyblades and I still don’t know what they are. 😃 I’m so glad your son is putting it behind him. The whole thing was obviously quite serious. I’m glad that person won’t be working with children again, or any humans, actually. Bey blades are awesome. My kids had the big battle arena and everything. They make excellent “good going” gifts. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-incident/808229.md?page=5)