# The Invention That is Better than Sex **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 25, 2010, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-invention-that-is-better-than-sex/551431 "2010-08-25T18:57:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-invention-that-is-better-than-sex/551431/1 "2010-08-25T18:57:01Z")
> [@](#): > > In the 1980s I fended off an unprovoked attack. What I did was hit my attacker in the Jugular vein in the neck hard with the tip of my finger. (The Femoral artery in the leg can be used in the same way as an alternative.) > > Whilst my attacker was incapacitated on the floor by this martial arts technique I gave the person a bruising slap round the buttocks. When the attacker came to it was said that the experience was even better than sex. I knew at once I was on to another invention. It’s the [Kadir-Buxton Method](http://www.kadir-buxton.com/page14.htm). And boy, he’s got a method for everything! He can bring you back from the dead, massage your fallopian tubes with his hands (that pass through your cervix!) and cause deliberate amnesia. He’s a god among men, people. A GOD AMONG MEN. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-invention-that-is-better-than-sex/551431/2 "2010-08-25T19:01:03Z")
> [@](#): > > Post Sex will have many spin offs including brightening the day of HIV sufferers. “Sorry you got AIDS! Imma jab you with my finger and slap your ass.” ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-invention-that-is-better-than-sex/551431/3 "2010-08-25T19:01:30Z")
A guy attacked him and after disabling him, his first thought is not to get away or call the cops, but to fondle the guy’s ass? I’m wondering just how unprovoked this attack was. ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-invention-that-is-better-than-sex/551431/4 "2010-08-25T19:02:16Z")
The rib, of course. Oh wait, this wasn’t GQ. ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-invention-that-is-better-than-sex/551431/5 "2010-08-25T19:08:16Z")
> [@](#): > > The length of unconciousness depends on how hard the strike is and the ability to judge comes with practice. I wonder how many people he killed during his learning period? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-invention-that-is-better-than-sex/551431/6 "2010-08-26T01:03:29Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > A guy attacked him and after disabling him, his first thought is not to get away or call the cops, but to fondle the guy’s ass? I’m wondering just how unprovoked this attack was. You mean… other people don’t do that? ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-invention-that-is-better-than-sex/551431/7 "2010-08-26T01:43:20Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > A guy attacked him and after disabling him, his first thought is not to get away or call the cops, but to fondle the guy’s ass? I’m wondering just how unprovoked this attack was. Obviously the ass-slap was for identification purposes. “Is this the man that attacked you?” “I don’t know, is his ass bruised?” ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-invention-that-is-better-than-sex/551431/8 "2010-08-26T01:52:59Z")
> [@Electronic\_Chaos](#): > > Obviously the ass-slap was for identification purposes. “Is this the man that attacked you?” “I don’t know, is his ass bruised?” “Is the man who attacked you here in the courtroom today?” “Yes.” “Will you please point him out?” … “Let the record show that the witness has identified the man with the hand print on his left buttocks cheek.” ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-invention-that-is-better-than-sex/551431/9 "2010-08-26T03:07:13Z")
> [@](#): > > **The Orgasmic Nose** > The conditioning needed in order to get an orgasmic nose are both ‘Hands Free’ masturbation until orgasm, (the tightening and relaxing of vaginal muscles for five minutes until vaginal orgasm occurs) and also to then stroke the nose while having the orgasm. After three orgasms while stroking the nose in succession I have found that women are then able to have orgasms whenever their nose is stroked. The common cold can then become fun. > > … > > Do not try this whilst driving or operating heavy machinery. You couldn’t make this shit up. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-invention-that-is-better-than-sex/551431/10 "2010-08-26T20:34:03Z")
Oooh, oooh, baby! Stroke my nose again!! ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-invention-that-is-better-than-sex/551431/11 "2010-08-26T22:08:08Z")
Nose orgasms, will you people get your minds out of the gutter? Did you miss the amazing things that the [Kadir-Buxton method can do to treat victims of violent crime and the mentally ill](http://www.kadir-buxton.com/index.htm)? Not only that, it can cure pedophiles! > [@](#): > > paedophiles can be made to stop attacking children when the Kadir-Buxton Method is used twice, if my method is used three times the paedophile can be so shocked by their previous behaviour that they commit suicide. Just remember, the natural enemy of the modern man of science are those quacks, hypnotists! > [@](#): > > I have found that hypnotists have the ability to undo all this good, and the patient is left back at the mental health problem state. Because this can be foreseen, the patient can be asked to remember as vividly as possible how much they like hypnotists three times, each time stunning the patient so that they will not get your good work reversed at a later date. It’s a good thing you can re-program your patients to avoid them. And for those who need third-party confirmation of things like this, don’t just take his word for it, check out [this wiki article all about the man and his amazing inventions/accomplishments](http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Andy_Kadir-Buxton). Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-invention-that-is-better-than-sex/551431/12 "2010-08-27T14:29:44Z")
I have to admit that if someone were boxing my ears every time I had specific thoughts, I’d quickly learn not to have those thoughts.