# The Iron rules of life. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 6, 2018, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366 "2018-07-06T06:18:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/21 "2018-07-06T18:52:11Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > The surest way to find almost anything you’ve lost or misplaced is to buy a replacement. And when either one of those items goes missing later, you’ll be unable to find the spare. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2018, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/22 "2018-07-07T01:42:13Z")
Your camera has a way of alerting you when there is an opportunity for that once-in-a-lifetime shot that will make social media explode: It says “LOW BATTERY”. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2018, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/23 "2018-07-07T01:43:41Z")
Nobody cares. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2018, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/24 "2018-07-08T10:35:44Z")
When searching for a socket or wrench to fit a bolt, the first two grabs into the tool box will retrieve sizes that bracket the needed one. If I need a 1/2 inch socket, I’ll get a 9/16, then a 7/16. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2018, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/25 "2018-07-08T15:24:23Z")
^ …and/or the corresponding metric ones. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2018, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/26 "2018-07-08T18:24:06Z")
The day that you have to dress up since there are VIPs in your usually casual office, you’ll either get pouring rain or a record heat wave. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2018, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/27 "2018-07-08T18:35:38Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > ^ …and/or the corresponding metric ones. ☹ Which is why mine are tied with a ribbon and anybody who tries to take one gets threatened with death by diswencherment: the ribbon keeps them together and in the right order. Learned that trick from the maintenance guys at one of my jobs; each of them had a bunch of wrenches, tied with different-colored ribbons. If you’re normally a clean eater, the day you give yourself a medal (preferably smack on the nipple) will be the day you’re wearing your best white blouse because you’ve got to do a presentation for upper management. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2018, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/28 "2018-07-08T18:58:45Z")
If you have two electronic keys / key fobs for your car, and the battery dies in yours, the other one will be in the possession of your spouse, who is currently in another state. ---
**Author:** ![ToughLife](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8797f3/32.png) [@ToughLife](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToughLife)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2018, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/29 "2018-07-08T19:54:25Z")
Connecting any USB cable always requires 3 attempts. ---
**Author:** ![Anny\_Middon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc79bd/32.png) [@Anny\_Middon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anny_Middon)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2018, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/30 "2018-07-08T20:27:58Z")
Whenever you’re running late and need to stop at the grocery, after you have unloaded your items onto the conveyor, the person in line in front of you will, having only a couple more items to scan, say, “Oops! I forgot something,” dash off, and return five minutes later. Or one of that person’s items won’t scan, necessitating a call to Produce, but all the Produce staff are outside smoking. Or the person will proffer a credit card that is declined, hand over a second which is also declined, before finding one that works. Or all three of these scenarios. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2018, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/31 "2018-07-20T04:52:32Z")
Earbuds aren’t called that because they look like flowerbuds. They’re called that because they are as fragile as flowebuds. The biggest plot hole in _I Am Legend_ was that the Will Smith had apparently spent thirty post-apocalyptic years listening to his iPod through the same set of earbuds. Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2018, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/32 "2018-07-20T15:33:33Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > \*Your office network will develop problems exactly when you need to use the printer… This is easily explainable. All modern printers have an RFID in them capable of detecting the user’s stress level. As soon as the stress level hits a certain point, the RFID will shut down the printer. All very simple, really. ---
**Author:** ![CoastalMaineiac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@CoastalMaineiac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CoastalMaineiac)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2018, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/33 "2018-07-20T16:13:57Z")
When stuck behind a slowpoke, there will never be a single car in the oncoming lane in the no passing zones. But the second you get to a place where it’s legal to pass, it’ll be wall-to-wall traffic in the oncoming lane! ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2018, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/34 "2018-07-20T16:18:54Z")
You don’t tug on superman’s cape You don’t spit into the wind You don’t pull the mask off that old lone ranger And you don’t mess around with Jim ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2018, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/35 "2018-07-20T18:38:13Z")
1. Never rule out stupidity 2. Always lie to authority 3. The motorcyclist who has just jumped 6 trash cans has the right of way. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2018, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/36 "2018-07-20T19:21:46Z")
The moment you injure a minor body part, like a pinky finger, your dogs will bump it, you’ll jam it into walls, and people will drop stuff on it. It’s the law that an eyeglass fix kit (baby screwdriver set) may be used only once then must disappear. When a new kit is bought, the old one will reappear, then both sets will vanish. Wash, rinse, repeat. I must have 20 of these sets in circulation. Tweezers have a similar mystery portal. And, yeah, the USB fitment mystery . . . ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/37 "2018-07-21T19:31:12Z")
“You must be logged in to comment.” But only after you tapped out a 250 word comment into their mobile website. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/38 "2018-07-21T19:41:09Z")
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong at the worst possible ti ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/39 "2018-07-21T20:54:40Z")
Murphy was a bleedin’ optimist. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366/40 "2018-07-21T23:20:58Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > The can of PVC glue you bought for that one repair has dried out. You _will_ need to buy a whole new can for the one repair needed today. Same for tubes of caulk and cans of drywall spackle. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-iron-rules-of-life/817366.md?page=3)