# The issue with centaurs... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 2, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766 "2010-04-02T19:40:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/21 "2010-04-04T14:16:23Z")
Naaa, not my type. ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/22 "2010-04-04T14:16:32Z")
[Christopher Walken, is that you?](http://vidbunker.com/christopher_walken_interviews_a_centaur) ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/23 "2010-04-04T14:20:22Z")
I’m fucking loving all the centaur jokes. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/24 "2010-04-04T15:08:20Z")
I think I’ll hold out and wait for the nymphs to reveal themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/25 "2010-04-04T17:30:32Z")
An attractive female sentient is hitting on _me?_ The flattery alone is going to buy her a lot of leeway. (Hey, at least she’s not a [Scorpiontaur](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scorpion_man)) ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/26 "2010-04-04T17:39:36Z")
It would definitely be a tail for all my friends when I describe the mane event. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/27 "2010-04-04T18:18:36Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > (In one modern story I’ve read, centaurs have both and can decide which are active). Titanides aren’t quite Centaurs. (I’ve wanted to reread that series, lately, but I don’t know where my copies are…) And, what the hell, I’d go for it…You only live once, and that’d certainly be the ride of your life. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/28 "2010-04-04T19:18:18Z")
If she smelled like a horse, I just don’t think I could do it. And I’d have to be hung like the biggest porn star in modern history just for her to feel it. There are plenty of imaginary female creatures I’d do, but I’m afraid the classic kentaur is just too incompatible. Umm… well, if odor wasn’t an issue, and she was closer in size to a dwarf pony than a thoroughbred… it would be negotiable. ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/29 "2010-04-04T19:39:00Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > What if the centaur had the appropriate bits up front? Either as well as or instead of at the rear. > > (In one modern story I’ve read, centaurs have both and can decide which are active). I read a short story like that, back in the 80s. I swear it was in a collection of short stories called Centaurs! (I swear, I also had a similar book called Mermaids!). In the collection of short stories, there were these altered humans (to look like fantastical beasts) who were kept in a pleasure preserve to service guests. There was a centaur and he had pony parts and serviceable human parts. It was not a particularly sexy story, it was kind of tragic and doomed. Does anyone else remember this book? Google is turning up nothing! (not that I really want it again, I just want to know I’m not making it up!) ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/30 "2010-04-04T19:48:39Z")
> [@Glory](#): > > I read a short story like that, back in the 80s. I swear it was in a collection of short stories called Centaurs! (I swear, I also had a similar book called Mermaids!). In the collection of short stories, there were these altered humans (to look like fantastical beasts) who were kept in a pleasure preserve to service guests. There was a centaur and he had pony parts and serviceable human parts. It was not a particularly sexy story, it was kind of tragic and doomed. > > Does anyone else remember this book? Google is turning up nothing! (not that I really want it again, I just want to know I’m not making it up!) Was it part of [this series](http://www.librarything.com/series/The+Exclamatory+Series)? [Horses!](http://www.librarything.com/work/368120/details) [Beastiary!](http://www.librarything.com/work/181939/details) ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/31 "2010-04-04T19:51:44Z")
Yes - there is [Mermaids!](http://www.librarything.com/work/2348079) just like I remember. I suppose my Centaur story could have been in Horses! or Bestiary! Actually, now that I think about it, one of the doomed horsie people may have had a horn. I know I owned Unicorns! (I recognize the cover art). ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/32 "2010-04-05T11:39:43Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I’m fucking loving all the centaur jokes. I know! Me, too. Who would have thought they’d become the centaur of attention in this thread? (I know, re-used joke… but if the shoe fits…) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/33 "2010-04-05T12:15:07Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > Well, I don’t think my wife would want me doing it horsey style with some strange female, but at least it would better than a mermaid: how do you have sex with a fish? Some old drawings of mermaids have them with two fishlegs. I imagine in that case you’d point to the usual spot… And re. the OP, hell no and actually just sign me up for a “ **bouv** ’s post +1” > [@silenus](#): > > I’d give it a go. She might wince a bit, though. Very appropriate, my [del]man[/del]forest god… ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/34 "2010-04-05T12:38:27Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > Titanides aren’t quite Centaurs. (I’ve wanted to reread that series, lately, but I don’t know where my copies are…) For anyone curious, this is referring to the _Titan/Wizard/Demon_ trilogy by **John Varley**. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/35 "2010-04-05T13:14:26Z")
I would… …assuming I was single. Pepper Mill takes a dim view of anything wandering besides eyes, and I’m sure that includes mythological species. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/36 "2010-04-05T13:58:38Z")
> [@Hal\_Briston](#): > > Naaa, not my type. Wouldn’t that be: “Baa-a-a, not my type.” 😛 Me, nope. As mentioned, the business end of the lass is entirely too equine for my tastes. I could possibly, perhaps, maybe get on a relationship with a female centaur (love transcending all barriers or some such bullshit); but just for the nookie, nope. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/37 "2010-04-05T14:05:10Z")
_Am I hurting you, dear?_ ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/38 "2010-04-05T14:58:38Z")
Why would I want to get involved with a woman who’s a horse’s ass? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/39 "2010-04-05T15:12:01Z")
You should have had two “Dude, wtf?” responses- one for each gender. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766/40 "2010-04-05T16:00:58Z")
20-1 odds, but that may change if I could put together a trifecta. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-issue-with-centaurs/534766.md?page=3)