# The "I've seen Machete" thread (giant spoilers ahoy) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 3, 2010, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525 "2010-09-03T19:51:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525/21 "2010-09-27T15:24:31Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > My one word review of the movie: gratuitous. and might I add… “Hellllll Yeahhhhhhh it is!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525/22 "2010-09-30T05:39:58Z")
We saw it last Saturday. Excellent! I was annoyed, though, that the extended opening scene in Mexico had only Thai subtitles and not English. When I complained about that to a fellow American who had also seen it, he said he just figured Rodriguez had purposely left out English subtitles, but I don’t think so. I’m sure you people here can confirm that’s not true. It’s often a problem with movies here, the English subtitles getting tossed out during non-English sequences. (My friend has only been here a couple of years and probably has not encountered this very much before.) I can read Thai but not as quickly as they were speaking in the movie. I did manage to get the general idea, then the wife filled in a couple of blanks afterward. I caught Rodriguez’s nod to _The Good, The Bad and the Ugly_; Machete meeting his brother in the church seemed to parody Eli Wallach meeting up with his in the old mission, especially with the way their parents were mentioned. The next day we watched _Bonnie and Clyde_ at home, and then I spotted Rodriguez’s reference to that film. Jessica Alba says Machete must have been a good cop, he says, “The best!” And she says, “And modest, too.” That’s almost the exact dialogue when Bonnie comments on Clyde’s shooting skills. Looks like sequels are coming. Hope so! (And I do like where the naked girl in the beginning pulled out her cellphone from, hehehe. She could get a job in a Bangkok bar. :D) ---
**Author:** ![Reno\_Nevada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Reno\_Nevada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reno_Nevada)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2010, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525/23 "2010-11-06T17:15:14Z")
I just saw \*Machete \*at the dollar theater, and I have to say, this was the most fun movie I have seen in a long time. This is the movie that \*Grindhouse \*wanted to be when it grew up. I wish that Joe Bob Briggs could have seen this movie from his own personal car, the way God intended, and then reviewed it without the high sheriffs getting in the way–I think that he would have given it every Drive In Academy Award available. Check it out! ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525/24 "2010-11-07T01:57:18Z")
> [@Reno\_Nevada](#): > > This is the movie that \*Grindhouse \*wanted to be when it grew up. We’ve not seen _Grindhouse_, but someone mentioned that inside it is a trailer for _Machete_. Sort of hidden maybe? In the background somewhere? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525/25 "2010-11-07T02:11:30Z")
_Grindhouse_ tried to recreate the experience of an old style grindhouse double feature and had fake trailers between the two features. _Machete_ was originally shot as just a trailer, a gag really, for a movie that didn’t really exist. It was popular enough that Robert Rodriguez turned it into a real, full length movie. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2010, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525/26 "2010-11-07T05:28:09Z")
I saw it a couple of weeks ago. A really good movie that knew exactly what it was doing the whole way through. Mindless entertainment but well-made mindless entertainment. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2011, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525/27 "2011-01-05T10:25:06Z")
I FINALLY saw it. **Siam Sam** , there were English subtitles for the beginning, at least there were when I watched it here at home. Wow. Wow. Fuckin’ WOW! Gratuitous nudity with sexy, sweat-glistening women, violence, and so very, very funny! This was just full of awesome. One viewing, and I think this could be the movie that finally knocks _Road House_ off the top of the 'Best Guy’s Movie" list (praise be to Swayze). I enjoyed this more than the “Grindhouse” movies. In truth, I think I enjoyed it more than any move I’ve seen in a very long time. No, it’s not a “great” movie, but it’s great in that it achieves everything it sets out to do. Funny, violent, outrageous, full of machismo, a cinematic testosterone overdose. Danny Trejo is bad-ass, fights evil, spouts macho dialogue, gets all the beautiful women, and it’s all so very, very over-the-top it’s laugh-out-loud funny. I want to have dreams that are as good as \*Machete.\*This movie could make me take illegal substances, if I thought I could have drug-fueled hallucinations like this. When I die, and God judges me to have lived a good and pure life, I will go to a heaven where I will fight evil, speak only “Bad-Ass”, get all the hot, sweaty women, and ejaculate pure testosterone. I guess what I’m saying is, it’s pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2011, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525/28 "2011-01-05T14:50:20Z")
> [@zamboniracer](#): > > My favorite bit was the name of the Spanish-language TV station. Yes! 70’s nostalgia referring to 50’s nostalgia. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2011, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525/29 "2011-01-06T02:47:33Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > **Siam Sam** , there were English subtitles for the beginning, at least there were when I watched it here at home. Thanks. Just as I thought. The friend I referred to is fairly new here and still a bit naive. He doesn’t believe the Thais would remove the English subtitles. After all, why would they? A very good question, but they do. They stopped for a while, but now they’re back at it. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525/30 "2011-01-10T01:33:37Z")
Just saw it on DVD. Curious thing . . . every time the TV news reports the election polls it speaks of “votership.” 😕 Not that it isn’t a perfectly cromulent word, but . . . ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525/31 "2011-01-10T01:36:52Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > Danny Trejo is bad-ass, fights evil, spouts macho dialogue, gets all the beautiful women . . . Yeah, that’s another thing. Luz, throwing yourself on top of a man with a less-than-a-day-old gunshot wound is . . . inconsiderate, to say the least. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525/32 "2011-01-10T01:54:53Z")
Saw it last week. As most have said, it was fun. Lohan stunt boobs were lame but I don’t know if it was intentionally lame (always hard to tell with these sorts of films). While I know the trailer was made as a one-off and the actual decision to make a movie came later, there is a scene in the Grindhouse trailer where Machete opens his coat and has a ton of machetes hanging inside ([1:44 mark](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIV26nu24gw)). I was kind of disappointed that “real” Machete never did that. He wore some throwing knives on his vest that he never used but that’s about it for wearing an assload of weaponry. Also, I now demand a Hobo With A Shotgun movie. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2011, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525/33 "2011-01-10T03:33:33Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Yeah, that’s another thing. Luz, throwing yourself on top of a man with a less-than-a-day-old gunshot wound is . . . inconsiderate, to say the least. But. . .he is _MACHETE_. Plus, Luz did that hoodoo-voodoo thing with the egg that healed him overnight. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525/34 "2011-01-15T19:45:30Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Saw it last week. As most have said, it was fun. Lohan stunt boobs were lame but I don’t know if it was intentionally lame (always hard to tell with these sorts of films). The actual Machete + mother/daughter in the pool scene was from the Machete fake trailer, which Lohan had nothing to do with. > [@Jophiel](#): > > Also, I now demand a Hobo With A Shotgun movie. It’s going to be released later this year. ---
**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525/35 "2011-01-15T21:08:10Z")
\*Machete \*is the movie Rodriguez made after Texas Governor Rick Perry signed AT Robert Rodriguez’s Austin-based Troublemaker Studios, a law to bolster film-making in Texas. Perry’s new law offered tax incentives for filmmakers to make their films in Texas. Rodriguez said that thanks to the governor’s new law, he would not have to leave Texas to make his movie. \*Machete \* reportedly cost about $10 million to make and the tax incentives could have benefited Rodriguez to the tune of about $1.75 million for making the movie in Texas. So he made the movie in Texas \*because \*of the incentives! BUT WAIT! Then the governor and conservatives got wind of what the movie was about, and DENIED him the tax incentives! Apparently the incentives are only for movies with conservative-approved content. Just one [cite](http://thenoobnews.com/news/filmmaking/texas-film-commission-denies-incentives-for-robert-rodriguezs-machete/)of many. Un.Freaking.Believable. I’m glad it got made. It’s terrific. I’m just sorry Rodriquez got shafted. I hope he NEVER makes another movie in Texas. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525/36 "2011-01-16T05:36:24Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > I now demand a Hobo With A Shotgun movie. No, [Nuns With Guns](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wsSacnyP6I&feature=related) next ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2011, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525/37 "2011-09-14T21:08:12Z")
Sorry to revive such an old thread, but just finally got around to seeing this movie on (Showtime or HBO?) yesterday. This was really a lot more fun than I expected! It is gory, it is cartoonish and it is so-over-the-top it makes Rambo look like a goody-two-shoes. Had far more fun watching this that I should have - but it is now one of my favorite new guilty pleasures! And Robert De Niro?! Ha! I bet he had a ball playing that role! ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525/38 "2011-09-14T21:42:20Z")
Also just saw on HBO. Large parts of it were done in proper _homage_ to the genre. The action scenes and so on. But some parts were bad. In particular the dialog was bad cheesy, not good cheesy. You need some “Ahll be back.” type catchphrases. None of that worked. Lots of good actors but generally not well used. Danny Trejo was superb in _SherryBaby_, for example. He looked pretty bad in this. (He is supposed to be in the new Muppets movie. Interesting.) And why oh why was Steven Seagal in this? Why is he in anything? Worst of all, Cheech Marin was wasted. He didn’t come in until way into the film and then they killed him! What? You don’t kill Cheech! (And if you do, expect to kill him [more than once](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116367/).) No reason for the sequels to be made if they’re going to be like this. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ive-seen-machete-thread-giant-spoilers-ahoy/552525.md?page=1)