# The joys of going #2......

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-joys-of-going-2/16158>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [April 17, 2000, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-joys-of-going-2/16158 "2000-04-17T03:19:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![DAYIUZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DAYIUZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAYIUZ)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-joys-of-going-2/16158/21 "2000-04-19T23:32:00Z")

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Well there Strider, you lack of skill in the sport of “Total Darkness Dumping” is highlighted in you last post. While I admire your determination to complete the task at hand, I personally feel that once Buttcheck to Toliet seat contact has been made, it can not be broken until the job is done.

You have a few options in overcoming the light timers in the restroom. From experiance, I have noticed that there are usually two rolls of toliet paper. I only require one, thus leaving the other open to become the flying projectile that you need to trip the sensors again. If this option does not present it self, adapt. Use a shoe, the magazine your reading, anything. I’ve even found that sliding a Walkie-Talkie on the floor towards the sensors will often work. Do what you must.

Personally though, I enjoy the darkness. It is a time when I can rely on my primative animal instincts to guide me through the troubled times. Sometimes I pretend I am in a P.O.W. camp and my captors have not allowed me the luxery of light. I must then use my presision laser range finding toliet paper delivery system. This involves consintrating on every sound, every sensation and absolute trust in your equiptment.

Just remember, times may get tough, but stamina and a strong colon will get you through it.

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Thats the truth and anyone who has heard otherwise has been misinformed.

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**Author:** ![DAYIUZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DAYIUZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAYIUZ)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-joys-of-going-2/16158/22 "2000-04-19T23:36:00Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Originally posted by DAYIUZ:  
> \*\*Buttcheck  
> \*\*

Sorry, I ment Buttcheek. When speeking on this subjuct, my passion for it sometimes blinds me to my spelling errors. I beg forgiveness.

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-joys-of-going-2/16158/23 "2000-04-20T00:35:00Z")

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Speaking of automatic lights:

I was using the john in a church one time, and the lights suddenly went out, so when I finished my business, I went and found the church custodian to tell him that he’d blown a fuse. Showing a heart full of Christian charity, he was merciful to me, a dork.

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“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen

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