# The kanicbird konundrum **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 22, 2011, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802 "2011-11-22T22:09:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/41 "2011-11-23T04:02:43Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > So let me get this straight: You bought tickets from TicketMaster, saw a Nickleback concert, and it was in Baltimore. That about right? Dingdingding we have a winner! Yeah… I’ve heard of _some_ nutbags (mostly Pentecostals), but this guy really needs to get right the fuck back on his meds. ---
**Author:** ![Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swords_to_Plowshares)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/42 "2011-11-23T04:29:05Z")
Maybe kanicbird’s stuff would surprise me and make me laugh, had I not seen or heard half the stuff he’s talking about at my fundie Christian high school. Holy shit, they were really in to the “spiritual warfare” stuff with angels and demons and whatnot. The more I think about it the more fucked up I realize it was. ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/43 "2011-11-23T04:48:30Z")
Huh, for some reason I thought kb was a woman all these years. He’s basically admitted he’s not a Christian but is inspired by the Bible. If he’s a troll he’s the longest running one I’ve ever seen. I’m too lazy to search but I remember another recent kb post where he was talking about love being the melding of souls or…something that starts off sounding OK but quickly jumps off the tracks. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/44 "2011-11-23T05:08:10Z")
I like him when he’s not talking about religion. I mean, he’s fleshed himself out now, and talks about other things - he’s fun, as has been said, in other threads, and informative, and on point. _shrug_ We all have idiosyncrasies. I don’t get involved in the religion threads anyway. ---
**Author:** ![mac\_bolan00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b3f665/32.png) [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/45 "2011-11-23T05:10:48Z")
^ what a sweet post! ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/46 "2011-11-23T05:12:52Z")
Well, there’s idiosyncrasies and there’s [insanity](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=530858). Really gross insanity. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/47 "2011-11-23T06:08:39Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > I don’t have anyone on this message board on “Ignore,” but i rarely pay much attention to anything that **kanicbird** has to say. And then there are those who reached a different solution years ago. For some reason, my internal spell check always autocorrects the name as ‘Karmic Turd’. I’ve never had reason to wonder why. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/48 "2011-11-23T06:11:57Z")
> [@Sierra\_Indigo](#): > > [I found the ‘seeing demons in the faces of children’ quote:](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10863023&postcount=357) Ah, I’ve been looking for that one – thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/49 "2011-11-23T06:31:24Z")
I would like to thank the OP for bringing this guy onto my radar. Never noticed him before, but he is fucking priceless!!! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/50 "2011-11-23T07:10:18Z")
I wonder if his cocktail of choice includes paint thinner? ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/51 "2011-11-23T08:30:09Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Well, I don’t know what kind of religious people YOU know, but I’ve never had a priest tell me he was raped by demons and that an angel saved him from being arrested for DUI. In fact, he’d probably have looked at me like I was crazy. At least if I told him it was LITERAL. Most priests and nuns I knew were sane and didn’t pull this kind of shit. Most religious people I know believe wacky shit like some ethereal being impregnated a woman, who gave birth to someone who was killed but came back to life, and they literally turn stuff into his body and blood every week, which they eat and drink so they don’t end up roasting in Hell forever–stuff like that. They can provide no more evidence for these wacky beliefs than **Kanicbird** can provide for his peculiar set of beliefs, but because there are so many of them, they get to call themselves sane and him wacky. Nutty, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/52 "2011-11-23T08:51:43Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I like him when he’s not talking about religion. I mean, he’s fleshed himself out now, and talks about other things - he’s fun, as has been said, in other threads, and informative, and on point. You must have a different definition of _informative_ than that found in dictionaries. That is certainly not one word I’d apply to kanicbird. I learned that very early on in my very short interaction with that particular poster. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/53 "2011-11-23T08:59:02Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Well, I don’t know what kind of religious people YOU know, but I’ve never had a priest tell me he was raped by demons and that an angel saved him from being arrested for DUI. In fact, he’d probably have looked at me like I was crazy. At least if I told him it was LITERAL. Most priests and nuns I knew were sane and didn’t pull this kind of shit. Try Bishop Kelly, linked from the k-bird’s ‘demons’ post. ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/54 "2011-11-23T13:05:21Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > boner of salvation Now THAT’S a band name! ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/55 "2011-11-23T13:50:04Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I wonder if his cocktail of choice includes paint thinner? From what I’ve just read, I’m thinking his cocktail of choice IS paint thinner. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/56 "2011-11-23T13:53:04Z")
I’m kind of jealous. I wish I was God’s right arm on earth, that i could see and commune with angels, and all that stuff. That would be great, wouldn’t it? I wonder if it’s real, or if life is bad enough for him that it requires a fantasy of this magnitude to make it tolerable. I wonder if he really believes it. One thing he has right though is about the sex with supernatural beings. I never had a succumbs, but before I was married I got captured by a sea nymph named Calliope who lived in a pond near an abandoned amusement park. She kept me prisoner and fucked my brains out continuously. In the process I learned secrets of transcendant sex that allow me to take things to levels that the rest of you can barely imagine. That was just a month with a sea nymph. This guy had sixteen years with a succubus! ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/57 "2011-11-23T14:42:38Z")
I guess the supernatural beings just don’t find me attractive. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/58 "2011-11-23T14:50:12Z")
> [@Trion](#): > > I guess the supernatural beings just don’t find me attractive. It’s just 'cause you don’t get out enough. All your [excitations are localized.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trion_%28physics%29) If you could just learn to be more of a positive Trion, you’d have _two_ holes for your electron! ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/59 "2011-11-23T15:10:49Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > I have this image of someone dragging him out of a strip club as he’s flailing with a hand full of ones, “No, you don’t understand! I see them as innocent young children! God has made me immune to lust! This is a boner of salvation!” May I please use this last sentence of yours as part of my sig? _ **- Trans Fat Og, the other white “Jack”** _ ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2011, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802/60 "2011-11-23T15:30:06Z")
When my Aunt finally was on the right anti-psychotics, she reported that one of the hardest things about becoming sane was saying goodbye to her delusions. When she was crazy, She was in the middle of a vast cosmic struggle where legions of angels and demons were fighting for her soul. This wasn’t just a metaphor, she could perceive them as vividly as you’re perceiving your computer screen right now. Her misfiring brain was telling her that her soul was not just important, it was one of the most important souls in the world, a central front in the war between good and evil. Then she got on her meds and found out she was just an ordinary schmuck like the rest of us. I think if you haven’t dealt with delusional people, you have no real idea how vivid and powerful those delusions are. If you want to point and laugh at **kanicbird** , knock yourself out I guess. But I really don’t get the people who seem outraged at him and actually argue with him, bringing up points and whatnot. What are you all trying to win? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kanicbird-konundrum/603802.md?page=4)