# The Kids In The Hall Appreciation Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 6, 2001, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121 "2001-08-06T14:37:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/41 "2001-08-06T17:24:53Z")
“Mom, do you know why they call it crazy glue? Because, the guy that invented it, didn’t patent it, got no money, and the grief drove him insane… and instead of holding his arms with a a straight jacket, they held his arms with crazy glue! His own crazy glue!” ---
**Author:** ![Lyllyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Lyllyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lyllyan)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/42 "2001-08-06T18:02:05Z")
Honey, we’re going to be late and the car won’t start! (kicks tire)- "Try it now. No, no good. (Slams door) - “How bout now, try it now.” (Repaints car, sneaks up on it, rolls windows up and down…"Try it now! Finally take the Johnson kid out from under hood. ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/43 "2001-08-06T18:07:28Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by little_bit \* > \*\*“Mom, do you know why they call it crazy glue? Because, the guy that invented it, didn’t patent it, got no money, and the grief drove him insane… and instead of holding his arms with a a straight jacket, they held his arms with crazy glue! His own crazy glue!” \*\* Damn damn damn! You beat me to it, you magnificent bastard! Well, I guess Twenty-nine Helens agree: “Punctuality is important!” \*I know, somebody grabbed that one too. Yer pal, Zappo ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/44 "2001-08-06T18:13:42Z")
These guys… smoke. Boy do they smoke. They’re bad. ---
**Author:** ![Heath\_Doolin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Heath\_Doolin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heath_Doolin)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/45 "2001-08-06T18:24:30Z")
Courtroom Scene “Oh no.” “Whats wrong?” “Oh nothing…just that the entire jury is made up of my 12 ex-girlfriends.” (Shot of 12 women scowling at Bruce) “You’re kidding.” “NO! Did it ever occur to you to ask them any questions?” “Why no.” And of course…seeing the Chicken Lady masturbate by riding a coin operated pony in a mall. Then the orgasm BOOOM!!! Feathers fly everywhere! I nearly died laughing when Bruce came up to pull her off and she O’d again!! ---
**Author:** ![Lucki\_Chaarms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lucki\_Chaarms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/46 "2001-08-06T18:38:13Z")
Oh good god do I love KITH. “My wife beats me” “I’m sorry I caused all that cancer” “That’s why I get paid the big bucks” So many sketches I love… can’t quote them all. Oh well. Lucky Charms ---
**Author:** ![theendisnear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a4c791/32.png) [@theendisnear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theendisnear)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/47 "2001-08-06T18:45:17Z")
Getting folks a’ talking talking an’ squaking Squaking an’ walking Running FREEEEEEE!!! ---
**Author:** ![Flymaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c4cdca/32.png) [@Flymaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flymaster)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/48 "2001-08-06T19:02:43Z")
Oooooh! Forgot one of the best! “Screw You, Taxpayer!” ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/49 "2001-08-06T19:04:34Z")
Satan!!! Best thing to come out of Canada since Bill Shatner! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/50 "2001-08-06T19:09:59Z")
I’m crushing your head! What was the name of the naked guy? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Raven\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@The\_Raven\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Raven_1)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/51 "2001-08-06T19:16:07Z")
“Your liver will explode, and your brain will swim in bile!” “Splotchie!” “Called me [cluck] abomination![cluck]” ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/52 "2001-08-06T19:25:39Z")
\*\*SAUSAGES!!! . . . sausages . . .\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/53 "2001-08-06T19:41:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\*I’m crushing your head! > > What was the name of the naked guy? \*\* Paul Bellini (not quite naked, he did wear a towel), if I’m not mistaken (or maybe Mark, from the “I discovered nudity” sketch) And then in the summer of '69, I grew a tail. * * * Dave: That’s it. Unfurl it boy. [Scott continues to undo pants] C’mon it’s not a flag, let it touch the ground. [Scott finishes, makes gesture of removing himself, loud thump is heard as if something has hit the floor. Scott throws arms out to side triumphantly Dave has very wide eyed, surprised stare, he then picks up the phone.] Bingo? Would you get me Loins of London, please ( **Danny Husk: Blade Rogers, Season Three** ) * * * Mark: You are out of line! You’re not respecting the customs of Bellini day. Bruce: Did I not go caroling disco tunes of Earth? Mark: Yes, but… Bruce: Did I not drink Bellini’s favorite beverage for breakfast; buttermilk? Mark: Yes! Now sit down and eat of the traditional trout! Dave: Yes! I made a very fine trout gravy this year young man! ( **Bellini Day, Season Five** ) * * * (from [http://www.kithfan.org/](http://www.kithfan.org/) Very nifty site. Transcripts of all the kith sketches.) ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/54 "2001-08-06T19:46:00Z")
Oh, the cops! I forgot them. They’re best: GUY: (To Bruce) You PIG! You stupid PIG! (Smells him.) I smell bacon, sniff, sniff! PIG, you stupid PIG! Look at me, (Mike shows up at this point.) oink, oink, I’m a BIG PIG, oink snort, I’m a BIG PIG! (Exit.) BRUCE: You could have DONE something. MIKE: Oh. I thought you knew him! (Takes out nightstick and follows GUY.) ---
**Author:** ![rockstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockstar)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/55 "2001-08-06T19:58:24Z")
I found no love in the hollowed-out belly of a dead elk. Just warmth, and quiet. But then the questions: “Hey, why are you in the hollowed-out belly of a dead elk? Are you in there because of love?” And always, “You know if you’re homeless, man, you cannot sleep there.” ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/56 "2001-08-06T20:55:13Z")
Oh sure Nina, I experimented with homosexuality in college, but then who didn’t? Oh! And I drank human blood! There, I said it and I feel better for having said it! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/57 "2001-08-06T21:01:32Z")
This is your bank calling. Your acount is overdrawn. However, in lieu of payment, we will accept sex, as we understand you’re very good. Ho de ho de oten hey, Ho de oten hey, ho. Ho de ho de othen hey, Fattening up our tapeworms. Mourner: What did he die of? Scott (in coffin) Cancer. Mourner: I heard it was AIDS. Scott: Not AIDS, cancer! ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/58 "2001-08-06T21:08:24Z")
Pens! All you can carry! You don’t like us. That’s what this is all about. ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/59 "2001-08-06T21:13:45Z")
Mark as foreign-sounding cab driver, explaining how the Brain Candy is made: “It’s made from monkey come. They show them pornography. Really kinky stuff too, like two dogs and a cat, or a bat and a pig.” ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2001, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121/60 "2001-08-06T21:21:14Z")
You are all a bunch of Girly-Drink Drunks. Sua [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-kids-in-the-hall-appreciation-thread/75121.md?page=4)