# The King sits upon the throne... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 6, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975 "2005-04-06T02:17:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/1 "2005-04-06T02:17:29Z")
OK, I’ll admit it. If there’s no book next to me while I’m on the john, I go nuts. I’ll read the Scott Tissue wrapper or the Lysol label if I have to but **I GOTTA READ**. It just doesn’t _feel_ right, otherwise. My father was a reader before me, and it’s from him I learned this habit. So - - who else reads in the can? And is it just a guy thing? I mentioned this to a young fella I work with, and he looked at me as if I had just said that I eat my own excreta as well. I assumed it was pretty widespread (no pun intended), but I guess not… ---
**Author:** ![Kyyrewyyoae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Kyyrewyyoae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyyrewyyoae)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/2 "2005-04-06T02:47:05Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > So - - who else reads in the can? Of course I do! There’s no TV or computer in there. You can’t read just anything in there, though. Magazines and humor books are about right; I wouldn’t dream of bringing a novel or something else _literary._ ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/3 "2005-04-06T02:47:08Z")
I’m female and I read in there, too. In fact, the back of the commode is where I keep all my Straight Dope books. ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/4 "2005-04-06T02:54:32Z")
May I suggest [my earlier thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=297249&highlight=bible+bathroom) about reading the Bible in the bathroom? ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/5 "2005-04-06T02:55:31Z")
I have no reason for this, but I find reading material in the bathroom to be inexpressably vulgar. I cannot explain it. Every time I see reading material in someone’s bathroom, I think, “Christ Jesus, how crass!” ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/6 "2005-04-06T02:56:33Z")
I read, but I also keep a stash of half-completed crossword puzzles. Yup, I _write_ on the can. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/7 "2005-04-06T04:10:09Z")
Trade journals, entertainment mags, NTSB accident reports all go to the can with me. The latter can be dangerous because I become so involved with them that I don’t realize my legs have gone numb from elbow pressure-but then I read for a few more minutes while the pins and needes phase passes. :crapper reader smiley: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/8 "2005-04-06T04:13:35Z")
I confess to being a reader as well. That’s where all my _Sierra_ magazines go when they get here. Also female, FTR. ---
**Author:** ![davmilasav](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@davmilasav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davmilasav)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/9 "2005-04-06T04:18:02Z")
I have a whole set of the Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader books. [http://www.bathroomreader.com/home.html](http://www.bathroomreader.com/home.html) Articles are indexed as short, medium and long and include a wide range of topics. They’re also great to take along to the auto shop, the dentist or anywhere else that the provided reading material is older than you are. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/10 "2005-04-06T04:21:06Z")
Moving this from IMHO to the bathroom…er, I mean Cafe Society. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/11 "2005-04-06T04:45:22Z")
I don’t get you reader folks. Unless I’ve got the runs I’m never on the can long enough to read anything other than maybe just a short paragraph. So what do you do if you’re half way through the article and you’ve already finished taking a dump? Do you stop mid article and get off the pot? Or… Do you stay on your throne untill you have finished the article? If the latter is true; when do you wipe? before or after the article is done? Inquiering minds want to know… ---
**Author:** ![Khadro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Khadro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadro)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/12 "2005-04-06T05:26:17Z")
Not only am I a reader… I converted my wife as well. At frst she was horrified that I would read while I was “doing my business”, but after not too long, we had in fact installed a magazine rack on the back of the toilet door! And now, I have trouble finding room for my reading material amongst all those weird wimmin’s magazines that are stacked there. She has not progressed to the point of reading a book yet, but a magazine is fair game. For myself, I refuse to take non-fiction. ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/13 "2005-04-06T05:33:54Z")
> [@Kyyrewyyoae](#): > > Of course I do! There’s no TV or computer in there. Laptop + TiVo2Go ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/14 "2005-04-06T07:57:24Z")
Laptops & wireless networks are great. I’m on the can right now! ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/15 "2005-04-06T08:57:47Z")
Like **Daithi Lacha** , I’ll read the toilet paper wrapping or air freshener can if there’s nothing else to look at. At work, I used to bring in my iPod to scroll through or an A5-sized magazine (so I could hide it in my suit pockets) to read. At home, I bring in the newspaper or a magazine. I also have back-up reading in case there’s no newspaper around: a book of 1000+ historical photographs with commentary on each. This volume has resided in the loo for over a year; I read through four or five photos each sitting… ---
**Author:** ![seosamh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@seosamh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seosamh)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/16 "2005-04-06T11:20:23Z")
My current bog reading material is a vast Cinema and TV Film Guide, where each of the 20,000 films has a review of about 200 words. Ideal for browsing: you can simply finish reading the last review and pick up where you left off next time. ---
**Author:** ![NutMagnet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@NutMagnet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutMagnet)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/17 "2005-04-06T12:14:39Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Laptops & wireless networks are great. I’m on the can right now! Please tell us you’re not masturbating like a motherfuck. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/18 "2005-04-06T12:57:47Z")
The classic response to a poor theater review: “Dear sir: I am sitting in the smallest room in the house with your review in front of me. Soon, it will be behind me. Sincerely…” ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/19 "2005-04-06T19:44:27Z")
I read in the bath. ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/20 "2005-04-06T19:53:22Z")
Another bathroom reader here - and a bedroom reader, an at-work reader, a… Hell, I’ll read ANYWHERE (even \>GASP!\< in the car - but only when I’m stuck in a slow drive thru line - and I CAN’T read when I’m a PASSENGER - I get carsick. I hate the wasted time being a passenger). > [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > I mentioned this to a young fella I work with, and he looked at me as if I had just said that I eat my own excreta as well. I assumed it was pretty widespread (no pun intended), but I guess not… He may have been shocked that you actually admitted that you READ. MANY people don’t read recreationally (their loss). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975.md?page=2)