# The King sits upon the throne... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 6, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975 "2005-04-06T02:17:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/21 "2005-04-06T19:56:06Z")
> [@davmilasav](#): > > I have a whole set of the Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader books. [http://www.bathroomreader.com/home.html](http://www.bathroomreader.com/home.html) Articles are indexed as short, medium and long and include a wide range of topics. I wholeheartedly recommend these as part of any basic KICO (“Knowledge In, Corn-kernels Out”) plan. Equally great, but not as plentiful (there are only three) are the [Great American Bathroom Books](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1880184044/qid=1112817281/sr=8-1/ref=pd_csp_1/103-4154039-6538246?v=glance&s=books&n=507846)- they give two page synopses of books from ancient texts (Gilgamesh, Illiad, etc.) to classics (David Copperfield, To Kill a Mockingbird) to self help (Tony Robbins, Dr. Laura Schitslinger) to pulp fiction (Grisham, Clancy) etc… They’re great for letting you know which books you’d like to read full text sometime when you’re more constipated. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/22 "2005-04-06T20:26:41Z")
At any given time, I have four books going at once – one for reading when lounging at home, one in the car for when I find I’m somewhere that requires any kind of wait, one at work for when I have free time, and yes, one in the bathroom. I keep my “home” and “bathroom” books seperate, 'cause sometimes…ya know…you gotta go _right now_, and I don’t want to take to time to find my “home” book when that happens. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/23 "2005-04-06T21:22:49Z")
I keep a little hand held electronic Yahtzee game on the back of the toilet. The time it takes for a game or two usually works out about perfect. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/24 "2005-04-07T01:40:56Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > I don’t get you reader folks. Unless I’ve got the runs I’m never on the can long enough to read anything other than maybe just a short paragraph. > > So what do you do if you’re half way through the article and you’ve already finished taking a dump? > > Do you stop mid article and get off the pot? > > Or… > > Do you stay on your throne untill you have finished the article? > > If the latter is true; when do you wipe? before or after the article is done? > > Inquiering minds want to know… Well, see, that’s the thing. And this **IS** TMI: I take a long time. Sometimes, a real long time. I’ll start a BM, and mid-shove, it just stops. And so, there I sit, with nothing but time on my hands. Unless, of course, I have a good book. Fiction, non-fiction, biographies, short stories, poetry… hell, I don’t care. It’s all grist for the mill. And when I’m done, I attend to my business and the book goes back on the tank, 'til next time. Used to read in the bath too, but after ruining a couple of paperbacks I stopped. Too much respect for my many-paged friends. And don’t get me started on Gameboy… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/25 "2005-04-07T03:31:54Z")
I am not ashamed to admit I read on the throne. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/26 "2005-04-07T03:58:24Z")
> [@Jervoise](#): > > Like **Daithi Lacha** , I’ll read the toilet paper wrapping or air freshener can if there’s nothing else to look at. The back of a toothpaste tube, here. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/27 "2005-04-07T04:31:14Z")
I’m nuts; I constantly must have words in front of me. I often pick up a magazine and read when I _pee_. It’s only a few sentences, but I do it anyway. ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/28 "2005-04-07T05:25:35Z")
Oh, yes. I’ve converted the bulk of my towel cabinet into a bookshelf. Mainly magazines and 000-type material reside there, such as Rolling Stone’s Rock and Roll Encyclopedia. I also have a farmer’s almanac hanging on a nail in there. I’ve also been known to take the practice pad in there and perfect my flamadiddles (and any other rudiment needing perfecting, i.e., all of them). It sounds nice in there, as well. I guess looking in the bathroom for a book when I need to look up information is a sign of something… ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/29 "2005-04-07T09:20:38Z")
> [@NutMagnet](#): > > Please tell us you’re not masturbating like a motherfuck. I go through more laptops that way. Nah, actually, I’m not a bathroom reader, unless it’s a public toilet and I’m reading the poetry, invitations for sex, the comments of people reading the invitations for sex, and the comments about the comments of people reading the invitations for sex. And little drawings of Kilroy. Nope, don’t read in the toidy. Some of you people have mentioned how long some of your reading material has been in there. Haven’t you read any of Cecil’s columns about the germs that accumulate on that stuff? ---
**Author:** ![ReadMore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ccd318/32.png) [@ReadMore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReadMore)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/30 "2005-04-07T10:41:25Z")
Just a ditto for Sampiro’s mention of the “The Great American Bathroom Books”. Gotta love 'em. Readmore ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975/31 "2005-04-07T10:47:27Z")
I would never actually leave my reading material in the bathroom, but I do like to read there. Farging roommates, though. I can’t read in the bathroom unless they’re gone. Invariably someone will have to come into the bathroom for one reason or another, and then…“ **Harimad-sol** , you’re not reading in there, are you?” This started when one of the girls saw me exit the bathroom with a book. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-king-sits-upon-the-throne/297975.md?page=1)