# The lance strongarm transgender bathroom and poly marriage extravaganza thread! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 5, 2016, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244 "2016-04-05T11:31:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/341 "2016-04-14T19:44:03Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I’d point her to the authorities or establishment, . What if YOU are the authorities or the establishment? What do you say then? Have I finally pinned you down? Probably not. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/342 "2016-04-14T19:45:58Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > What if YOU are the authorities or the establishment? What do you say then? > > Have I finally pinned you down? Probably not. I would investigate the situation. I’d knock on the door, announce myself, and look inside. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/343 "2016-04-14T19:46:21Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I would probably call the authorities, since that sounds like lewd behavior. > > That fits nearly into the perv reason from LHOD’s list. If there’s another explanation, I can’t think of one, unless my wife is just incorrect about the person’s gender identity. Standing naked in a locker room is lewd behavior? Let’s say your wife was wrong about the person’s gender identity. It turns out it was a transgender female who still had a penis and testicles, and was sexually attracted to women. Would you still consider standing naked in the locker room lewd behavior? Would you call the authorities? ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/344 "2016-04-14T19:46:27Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I would probably call the authorities, since that sounds like lewd behavior. Jesus, you even give dodgy answers to questions that aren’t directed at you. Are you saying that it’s possible for a man to be in a women’s locker room, using it for its intended purpose, but not be lewd? Can you think of a reason to allow him to use it? ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/345 "2016-04-14T19:47:39Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I would investigate the situation. I’d knock on the door, announce myself, and look inside. More dodging. Do you think it can ever be acceptable for a man to use a women’s locker room, without lewd behavior? Or not? Yes? Or. No? ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/346 "2016-04-14T19:48:16Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Jesus, you even give dodgy answers to questions that aren’t directed at you. > > Are you saying that it’s possible for a man to be in a women’s locker room, using it for its intended purpose, but not be lewd? Can you think of a reason to allow him to use it? Per LHOD’s list, I can’t conceive of a legitimate reason for a man to be naked in a ladies locker room. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/347 "2016-04-14T19:49:00Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Let’s say your wife was wrong about the person’s gender identity. It turns out it was a transgender female who still had a penis and testicles, and was sexually attracted to women. How is your wife to know that? Go up and ask? Suppose she knows this man and knows he isn’t transgender? Then what? ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/348 "2016-04-14T19:49:59Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > More dodging. > > Do you think it can ever be acceptable for a man to use a women’s locker room, without lewd behavior? Or not? > > Yes? Or. No? I can’t think of a reason, per LHOD’s list. In our culture and society, that sounds like lewd behavior. Still just answering the best I can, not dodging. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/349 "2016-04-14T19:50:36Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Per LHOD’s list, I can’t conceive of a legitimate reason for a man to be named in a ladies locker room. Tada! Wow, that took so much effort. Was that really so hard? ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/350 "2016-04-14T19:51:44Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I can’t think of a reason, per LHOD’s list. In our culture and society, that sounds like lewd behavior. > > Still just answering the best I can, not dodging. So a man using a women’s locker room is lewd by definition? Hmmm. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/351 "2016-04-14T19:52:15Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Tada! > > Wow, that took so much effort. Was that really so hard? I’m so glad that you’re happy! I don’t understand how that answer conflicts with my other ones, and I’m pretty sure I’ve said the same thing in different ways, but if you’re happy, I’m happy. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/352 "2016-04-14T19:55:25Z")
So if a male who is a transgender female can be naked in a women’s room because she is attracted to men instead of women - that’s the logic, right, that there’s no harm because she’s not leering or being lewd because she’s not actually attracted to women - what’s that mean for transgender women (biologically male) who use the men’s room? Or gay men using the men’s room? ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/353 "2016-04-14T19:55:40Z")
Of course, in the real world, it can be impossible to know ones gender identity by their appearance, thus the gray area. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/354 "2016-04-14T19:56:30Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I’m so glad that you’re happy! > > I don’t understand how that answer conflicts with my other ones, and I’m pretty sure I’ve said the same thing in different ways, but if you’re happy, I’m happy. Let’s not spend another 50 posts talking about that! ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/355 "2016-04-14T19:56:45Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > So if a male who is a transgender female can be naked in a women’s room because she is attracted to men instead of women - that’s the logic, right, that there’s no harm because she’s not leering or being lewd because she’s not actually attracted to women - what’s that mean for transgender women (biologically male) who use the men’s room? Or gay men using the men’s room? There’s no such thing as a “male who is a transgender female”. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/356 "2016-04-14T19:58:54Z")
The logic as I understand it is about gender identity, not attraction. Our society and culture seems to prefer that people use the bathroom that matches their gender identity. I’m sure this is a different logic than in the past, when everything was about protecting women’s virtue, but these kinds of things often evolve. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/357 "2016-04-14T20:08:53Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > How is your wife to know that? Go up and ask? > > Suppose she knows this man and knows he isn’t transgender? Then what? I don’t know why you are asking me this, I’m asking him 🙂 I just can’t see the difference between a transgender female with a penis and testicles who is sexually attracted to women and a gender-typical straight man being in a woman’s locker room. Why is one okay, but one not? Why is one lewd behavior and one isn’t? ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/358 "2016-04-14T20:11:26Z")
I love how invested **lance** is in “pinning down” specific answers to increasingly silly hypotheticals… Axshually, I’m deeply tickled by how invested **lance** is in general. Tell me, **lance** , are you really het up about this issue? Or is it just really really important for you to Be Right? ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/359 "2016-04-14T20:12:29Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > I don’t know why you are asking me this, I’m asking him 🙂 > > I just can’t see the difference between a transgender female with a penis and testicles who is sexually attracted to women and a gender-typical straight man being in a woman’s locker room. Why is one okay, but one not? Why is one lewd behavior and one isn’t? Attraction is irrelevant. The relevant issue is gender identity. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/360 "2016-04-14T20:13:48Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > I just can’t see the difference between a transgender female with a penis and testicles who is sexually attracted to women and a gender-typical straight man being in a woman’s locker room. One is a gay woman, the other a straight man. That one’s super simple. > [@](#): > > Why is one okay, but one not? Why is one lewd behavior and one isn’t? Because, as stated above, we tend to distinguish based on gender, not on sexual orientation. Whether or not a woman has a penis is irrelevant. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244.md?page=19)