# The lance strongarm transgender bathroom and poly marriage extravaganza thread! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 5, 2016, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244 "2016-04-05T11:31:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 21
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/401 "2016-04-18T16:46:07Z")
Face it, **Lance** , this has nothing to do with helping women-you are showing us your own personal prejudices, and you are trying to dress it up as “Societal Concern”. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/402 "2016-04-18T16:48:56Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > I’m talking about the millions of women out in the real world. > > Do you actually say, with a straight face, that virtually all women would have no problem with men using the women’s room? The women’s locker room? > > Come on, you’re wasting my time. _Millions_ of women supposedly hold this view, and they are incapable of telling us about it, so brave, brave **lance** bares sword and shield to fight for the little ladies. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/403 "2016-04-18T16:48:56Z")
I’ve given lance a straight answer many, many times, but he doesn’t like my straight answers. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/404 "2016-04-18T16:49:24Z")
> [@eulalia](#): > > My first reaction on seeing a man in the ladies’ room would be to ask him if he was lost. If he was there to try to get off somehow I’d probably just laugh at him, because that’s truly pathetic. If it was a trans-gender woman then I’d mind my own business. But you WOULD ask him why he is there. You DO care. You DO think he’s out of place. If you didn’t, you’d just leave him alone like you leave other women in the restroom alone. Do you believe that most women would ignore a man in the women’s room? Just leave him to go about his business without caring that he is there at all? I don’t. I’m simply making an observation about customary social norms. I think my observation is accurate. Maybe women wouldn’t freak out as much as in the past, but it’s safe to say most women (and most men) don’t want unisex bathrooms or men using the women’s room, making them de facto unisex bathrooms. And I don’t think that’s an unreasonable observation that requires evidence. ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/405 "2016-04-18T17:11:05Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > _Millions_ of women supposedly hold this view, and they are incapable of telling us about it, so brave, brave **lance** bares sword and shield to fight for the little ladies. :rolleyes: They’re quite capable of telling you about it. You can ask them, assuming you’re legitimately skeptical about this (which is extremely unlikely, even for you). What these women may not be interested is in participating in these types of threads, which is another matter altogether. That’s where you need - if “need” is the word I want here - those few people who do have the interest to carry that viewpoint. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/406 "2016-04-18T17:15:36Z")
The few who seem to feel the need to post with this particular viewpoint do seem to have a certain something in common. ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/407 "2016-04-18T17:16:59Z")
They all have a very low opinion of you? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/408 "2016-04-18T17:21:29Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > They all have a very low opinion of you? That was supposed to make me feel _bad_? The correct answer is, of course a dick. Dick. ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/409 "2016-04-18T17:23:31Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > That was supposed to make me feel _bad_? Don’t know, but it seems to have worked that way, in any event. So sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/410 "2016-04-18T17:26:17Z")
I would ask. Then move on. But thanks for your concern for us ladies. We’ll let you know when we need you to speak for us. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/411 "2016-04-18T17:28:28Z")
BTW, I have shared the bathroom with men. What will they do if theirs is out of order? I have used the men’s bathroom a number of times too. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/412 "2016-04-18T17:36:07Z")
But…weren’t you afraid of the penises they forced you to look at?? ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/413 "2016-04-18T17:46:42Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > _Millions_ of women supposedly hold this view, and they are incapable of telling us about it, so brave, brave **lance** bares sword and shield to fight for the little ladies. :rolleyes: No, they aren’t, because they aren’t members of this board. I am not defending them. I am just making an observation. Why the need to deny such an obvious observation of fact? Why the need to attack me for making it? ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/414 "2016-04-18T17:49:42Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I’ve given lance a straight answer many, many times, but he doesn’t like my straight answers. You are the LAST person who has to the right to claim he gave straight answers. Let’s test this - tell me right now, do you believe that it’s safe to say a majority of women in the U.S. prefer to use a public restroom without men using it at the same time? Just say yes or no. I’m not asking what you think they should believe or prefer, just asking if you think that’s a fair assumption of the current cultural values of a majority of women. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/415 "2016-04-18T17:52:04Z")
> [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > BTW, I have shared the bathroom with men. What will they do if theirs is out of order? I have used the men’s bathroom a number of times too. I don’t know. I don’t care. I’m not arguing that men shouldn’t use the lady’s room. I’m saying most women don’t want men to use the lady’s room. And I’m not talking about exceptions such as when one room is broken. I’m talking about unisex bathrooms. Do you believe a majority of women would be comfortable with unisex bathrooms? Or men? It’s a simply observation, nothing more. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/416 "2016-04-18T17:56:38Z")
> [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > I would ask. That PROVES my point. You think he’s out of place. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t ask him why he is there in the first place. He’s trying to do his business and you’re asking him why he is there? Leave him alone and mind your own business. You don’t go up to women and ask them that, do you? So obviously you care in some way about men being in the women’s room. > [@](#): > > Then move on. But thanks for your concern for us ladies. We’ll let you know when we need you to speak for us. I am not speaking for you. I’m not concerned with you. I don’t give a damn who you want to share a bathroom with. I’m simply making an observation that is so fucking obvious that it’s silly for anyone to question it. Tell me, if all the men’s room and women’s room signs were replaced with unisex bathrooms signs today, do you think nobody would care? Would some people not like it? Many people, perhaps? I’d say so. Why is that so hard to admit? We have two bathrooms - why? If nobody cares, why do we still have them? And that’s not even talking about locker rooms. I dare you to tell me nobody would care about unisex locker rooms. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/417 "2016-04-18T17:57:05Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > No, they aren’t, because they aren’t members of this board. > > I am not defending them. I am just making an observation. > > Why the need to deny such an obvious observation of fact? Why the need to attack me for making it? Wave that baton as wildly as you want-there ain’t no parade behind you. Where are the women that belong to this board that supposedly support your closed-minded position? Do they not exist? Observation of “fact”? Back the fact, jack. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/418 "2016-04-18T18:01:35Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Face it, **Lance** , this has nothing to do with helping women-you are showing us your own personal prejudices, and you are trying to dress it up as “Societal Concern”. I have never once claimed I want to “help women.” You think that I have an agenda. You are afraid of it, so you keep throwing obstacles in my way. You want to impugn my motives, or claim I can’t make a simple, obvious observation. That’s your problem, not mine. Most women prefer to use a public restroom without men in it. I think that’s a reasonable observation of our current social norms. I make no judgment or claim based on it. I’m just incredibly amused that such a simple, obvious statement is so hard to accept. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/419 "2016-04-18T18:04:29Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > You are the LAST person who has to the right to claim he gave straight answers. > > Let’s test this - tell me right now, do you believe that it’s safe to say a majority of women in the U.S. prefer to use a public restroom without men using it at the same time? Just say yes or no. I’m not asking what you think they should believe or prefer, just asking if you think that’s a fair assumption of the current cultural values of a majority of women. Yes. I’ve said this dozens of times, by the way. Over and over again I’ve said that the majority prefer gendered restrooms. This has been a key part of my position, in fact - that this is the best reason why we will probably continue with gendered restrooms for the medium term. Your continuous denigration of my honesty is really a shame. I’ve tried my best to answer your questions at every turn, but because I approach this very differently than you, you won’t accept that I’m answering as I really believe. I started this thread to have an honest discussion. I really am stating what I believe. I take your word that you are too. It’s a real shame that you can’t seem to accept that there is a chance I’m doing the same. Why is it so hard to accept that someone thinks differently about this? Why does this different approach cause you such problems? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2016, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244/420 "2016-04-18T18:06:39Z")
I’ve been in an untold number of threads here and on Facebook about this issue, and just last week it occurred to me that I was arguing against a bunch of men in every single one. Women may prefer that men not be in the women’s room. We might give him a glance or ask if he’s lost. But I’ve seen only one woman who believes that discrimination laws would keep men out of the restroom, and exactly zero who feel very strongly about it. We’re not afraid. We’re beginning to wonder what the hell is going on in men’s rooms that y’all are so fearful of rape and penises, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244.md?page=20) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lance-strongarm-transgender-bathroom-and-poly-marriage-extravaganza-thread/751244.md?page=22)