# The Language of Cinema Cliche: This is how you know that ...
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [March 19, 2005, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317 "2005-03-19T15:10:16Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 4
### Author:  [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2005, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/61 "2005-03-23T05:48:03Z")
If there is a cat in a mystery, it will jump out from under the furniture or yowl or both at the most suspenseful moment possible.
And while everybody is staring at Fluffy in relief, the real murderer will emerge from behind the curtains and strike.
The hero will get his man with the first shot. However, the villian’s first shot will always just miss, letting the hero duck and/or take retaliation (see KILL BILL v1, Vernita Green).
Fortunately, one person in a group of foreigners, from the Russian mafia to African mercenery soldiers to Japanese students, can speak broken but perfectly understandable English to the hero.
Women can all run like Marion Jones in stiletto heels.
**Joe Random** , you forgot about the leafy celery tops that also must stick out of the grocery bag. 😃
In older movies, if a male wears his fedora with the brim pushed back on his head, he is a brilliant wisecracker with a heart of gold. A woman in a low cut dress with her hat worn low on her forehead, likewise.
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### Author:  [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2005, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/62 "2005-03-23T05:52:46Z")
> [@kunilou](#):
>
> All 11 year olds are either smart-ass distractions or brilliant computer geniuses.
And sometimes both.
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### Author:  [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2005, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/63 "2005-03-23T06:28:59Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#):
>
> Anyone on the good side that is shot or stabbed or otherwise undergoes severe trauma will live just long enough to have a short, parting conversation with the hero.
Corollary: if the character dies _without_ having a chance to deliver parting words, the death is a fake and the character will appear later in the film, on the bad guys’ side.
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### Author:  [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2005, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/64 "2005-03-23T07:23:18Z")
Sometimes a convention _follows_ a development rather than foreshadows it. Some examples:
If a scene with incidental music focuses on a baby, a celeste will be heard.
The male lead character will always have a shorter name than the female lead. If possible, both his first and last names should be one syllable.
Unless they are in court, male heroes do not deliver talky solo speeches at climactic moments. Villains and, to some extent, heroines are exempt from this rule.
Decent people forced to use violence do not cream the living shit out of the heavy. They turn their backs and give him a sporting chance to regain his feet and attack again.
If a woman needs to get away from a man, there is a good chance the car won’t start on the first try. A man rarely has this problem.
Professional hitmen fire only one shot into a cornered victim, but it is invariably fatal.
Good guys don’t use silencers. Period. Not even if they’re spies.
A female- or family-oriented crime drama ends with the arrest or death of the heavy, followed by the main characters embracing among emergency vehicles. The vehicle lights flash a soothing blue, and the shot is a slow crane-up-and-back.
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### Author:  [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2005, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/65 "2005-03-23T07:39:23Z")
A woman who has sex with a young man who dies a gallant death shortly after will always learn she is pregnant (_Titanic_ being a surprise exception).
The minority character in a drama (be they gay, black, Cherokee or dwarf) will usually have a syrupy story of opression to tell to bring the hero to his senses.
Homeless people are never mentally ill if played by a celebrity.
Rednecks and conservatively religious Christians are one-dimensional bigots.
All ministers, regardless of what denomination they are, wear priestly collars.
Real men prefer women who weight 90 pounds or less and wear size 2 dresses.
All black characters in movies with non-black stars are funny, especially when they make observations about white people being strange. All gay guys are funny, especially when ogling the straight character.
All guys who wear dresses to disguise themselves will be found really hot by a male jerk introduced earlier in the plot.
All high schools are much nicer than the one you went to; it is also not uncommon for the same teacher to have notes on the chalkboard about the Gettysburg Address _and_ the McCarthy hearings and then assign homework about the French and Indian War (or topics equally unlikely to be mentioned in the same class period or same time of year).
Children who are non-verbal due to trauma will always speak just in time to get the hero and heroine together.
All NYC apartments have skylights.
All cool people have posters of foreign movies.
No real hero or heroine comes home to an unmade bed, dirty dishes in the sink, or walks around in underwear and T-shirt after getting home.
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### Author:  [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2005, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/66 "2005-03-23T07:45:34Z")
No courtroom is an interior room with artificial lighting- they’re all at least a century old and dark but lit solely by sunlight from the windows.
No lawyers work more than one case at once and thus have plenty of time to do research (much of it by going undercover into dusty rooms).
All gay guys are slim, young, toned and have smashing taste in fashion.
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### Author:  [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2005, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/67 "2005-03-23T07:47:18Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#):
>
> Good guys don’t use silencers. Period. Not even if they’re spies.
With the exception of James Bond, of course. But he has a few exceptions associated with him already—like that he always manages to defuse bombs six seconds faster than anyone else—so don’t feel so bad about leaving him out. 😃
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### Author:  [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2005, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/68 "2005-03-23T09:24:00Z")
When the female lead comes home after work, and the first thing she does is feed the cat - she’s single. And looking to get hitched.
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### Author:  [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2005, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/69 "2005-03-23T12:21:21Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#):
>
> If the character is borderline or somewhat bad then they will have an epiphany and do something to help the good guy just before expiring gently.
Also: Anyone who betrays the hero but repents will die heroically furthering the hero’s cause.
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2005, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/70 "2005-03-23T19:02:00Z")
> [@Mehitabel](#):
>
> If there is a cat in a mystery, it will jump out from under the furniture or yowl or both at the most suspenseful moment possible.
>
> And while everybody is staring at Fluffy in relief, the real murderer will emerge from behind the curtains and strike.
Same cliche sometimes found in monster/sf movies too (viz. _Alien._)
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### Author:  [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2005, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/71 "2005-03-23T19:35:26Z")
If a character is standing next to a cab talking to someone sitting the the back, he must pound his hand twice on the roof to signal that the conversation is over and the cab can drive off.
Try this in real life sometime. 😉
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### Author:  [@Selkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Selkie)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2005, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/72 "2005-03-23T19:52:58Z")
> [@Sampiro](#):
>
> A woman who has sex with a young man who dies a gallant death shortly after will always learn she is pregnant
… especially if they had sex only once.
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### Author:  [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2005, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/73 "2005-03-23T21:23:44Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#):
>
> With the exception of James Bond, of course.
“That’s a Smith and Wesson, Doctor. And you’ve had your six.”
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### Author:  [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)
#### Post date: [March 24, 2005, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/74 "2005-03-24T00:38:58Z")
In horror movies, the monster will always kill everyone in a quick and painful manner. However, the monster will fail to use this form of death if/when it grabs the hero, giving the hero the oppurtunity to escape.
If the good guys are in a hotel room, and a knock comes at the door, apparently “Room Service”, it will almost always be a hit squad. The only exception is if the good guy expects a hit squad to use this trick, in which case Room Service will have actually been ordered and a poor busboy will be nearly killed/scared out of his mind.
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### Author:  [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)
#### Post date: [March 24, 2005, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/75 "2005-03-24T02:10:25Z")
If the hero is surprisingly shot, after the initial minute or so of him laying there, he’ll open his eyes. Alhough it’s obvious to everyone watching at this point that he’s wearing a bullet proof vest, he must still take the time to sit up, unbutton his shirt to reveal the vest, then thoughtfully rub his fingers over the bullets lodged within.
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### Author:  [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)
#### Post date: [March 24, 2005, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/76 "2005-03-24T02:30:30Z")
> [@acsenray](#):
>
> 1. You know a male character is unemployed when he is shown ironing shirts in the middle of the day.
>
> Next?
You know that the person on the other end of the phone conversation has hung up on the on-screen talker when the on-screen talker LOOKS INTO THE RECEIVER-drives me batshit.
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [March 24, 2005, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/77 "2005-03-24T03:01:20Z")
And when one party has hung up, you immediately hear a dial tone. Even on a cellular phone.
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### Author:  [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)
#### Post date: [March 24, 2005, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/78 "2005-03-24T05:20:20Z")
When you’ve uncovered a conspiracy and finally reveal it to your boss (or other authority figure), if he tells you that you’ve done an excellent job and that he’ll handle it from here, it’s a sure sign he’s in on it and is gonna come after you with a gun in five minutes.
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### Author:  [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)
#### Post date: [March 24, 2005, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/79 "2005-03-24T05:35:37Z")
Almost without fail, if the good guy finds someone he cares about dead on the floor, obviously murdered with the murder weapon right there, the good guy will reach over and get his grubby fingerprints all over the murder weapon, often just in time for the cops to rush in and catch him holding the weapon over the dead guy.
Has nobody ever heard of the concept of “Preserving the crime scene”? How about “NOT GETTING YOUR FINGERPRINTS ALL OVER THE MURDER WEAPON AND MAKING IT EASY TO BE FRAMED!”?
Sorry, this thing bugs the crap out of me.
Also…
People in zombie movies often live in a parallel universe where zombie movies were never made(or nobody has seen a zombie movie), because nobody will ever use the word “zombie” or immediatly mention something about zombies being killed by destorying the brain in all the zombie movies. Hell, people seem to take an awfully long time figuring out that the undead are attacking them, even after it’s obvious the people attacking them can’t possibly be living under normal conditions.
Shaun of the Dead is perhaps the only movie I’ve seen that plays off this.
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [March 24, 2005, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-language-of-cinema-cliche-this-is-how-you-know-that/295317/80 "2005-03-24T16:12:10Z")
> [@HPL](#):
>
> People in zombie movies often live in a parallel universe where zombie movies were never made(or nobody has seen a zombie movie), because nobody will ever use the word “zombie” or immediatly mention something about zombies being killed by destorying the brain in all the zombie movies. Hell, people seem to take an awfully long time figuring out that the undead are attacking them, even after it’s obvious the people attacking them can’t possibly be living under normal conditions.
And yet, nobody ever seems to have any trouble recognizing a vampire, and everybody knows about their vulnerability to crosses, garlic, sunlight, and stakes through the heart, and that they can’t enter a house uninvited, and all that.
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