# The Large Hadron Collider has failed to bring catastrophe. I am vexed. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 10, 2008, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972 "2008-09-10T18:55:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/1 "2008-09-10T18:55:14Z")
It’s been on all day. There have been no black holes. No antimatter explosions. No time vortexes releasing packs of velociraptors onto the fields & mountains of Switzerland, and as a result both Heidi and those obnoxious Robinson children have not been eaten. I am vexed. No, strike that. I am en-fucking-raged. Someone will pay for this. ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/2 "2008-09-10T19:19:22Z")
Well, crap. I was pretty much counting on a major reality-rending event today so that I could avoid going on a long walk tomorrow morning. I suppose this means the chocolate I snarfed down this afternoon actually counts now. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/3 "2008-09-10T19:20:25Z")
You just wait until they start actually colliding stuff. Mark my words, we’ll all disappear in the blink of an eye! ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/4 "2008-09-10T19:22:26Z")
Don’t mock unevents. They may become vents at anytime. Especially on message boards. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/5 "2008-09-10T19:22:45Z")
> [@shantih](#): > > Well, crap. I was pretty much counting on a major reality-rending event today so that I could avoid going on a long walk tomorrow morning. I suppose this means the chocolate I snarfed down this afternoon actually counts now. :mad: I, too, was hoping to use the obliteration of Terran System h as an excuse to overindulge in carbohydrates. As Sol and her satellites remain unobliterated, I am thus obliged to get on the treadmill for an extra hour. I blame the foreign kid. ---
**Author:** ![Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/13edae/32.png) [@Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interconnected_Series_of_Tubes)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/6 "2008-09-10T19:23:55Z")
You know, this whole lower-energy-quantum-vacuum-state-disintegrating-the-universe thing was a lot less dramatic than I thought. I mean, you figure there’d be less traffic. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/7 "2008-09-10T19:25:27Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > It’s been on all day. > > There have been no black holes. No antimatter explosions. No time vortexes releasing packs of velociraptors onto the fields & mountains of Switzerland, and as a result both Heidi and those obnoxious Robinson children have not been eaten. > > I am vexed. No, strike that. I am en-fucking-raged. Someone will pay for this. You know, of course, that they’re only gradually ramping up collision energies? They don’t expect to get to universe-smashing levels at least for another month. [sub]Quick! Was the collision energy “two bullet-trains smashing together” or “one millionth of the energy released by dropping an apple from a height of one metre”? Get the notes! And what’s that flashing on the control panel? I _knew_ we shouldn’t have gotten Halliburton to build this thing![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![puppygod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@puppygod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puppygod)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/8 "2008-09-10T19:26:53Z")
Oh, just wait till Oct, 21st. It’s when they actually will cross the beams. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/9 "2008-09-10T19:38:14Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > You know, of course, that they’re only gradually ramping up collision energies? They don’t expect to get to universe-smashing levels at least for another month. > > [sub]Quick! Was the collision energy “two bullet-trains smashing together” or “one millionth of the energy released by dropping an apple from a height of one metre”? Get the notes! And what’s that flashing on the control panel? I _knew_ we shouldn’t have gotten Halliburton to build this thing![/sub] Sorry, dude. I couldn’t hear you over the noise of my Baryon Evaporator starting up, which, unlike the LHC, is actually intended to do wreck stuff. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/10 "2008-09-10T19:40:52Z")
Wow, so smug. You realize, of course, that the universe could end at any ti ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/11 "2008-09-10T19:42:07Z")
M’Lord **Rhymer** , with all respect - aren’t there other means of catastrophe at your disposal? What of the bees, m’lord? ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/12 "2008-09-10T20:03:48Z")
> [@puppygod](#): > > Oh, just wait till Oct, 21st. It’s when they actually will cross the beams. Sweet Jesus, no! Don’t cross the beams! Have you gone mad, man? ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/13 "2008-09-10T20:08:20Z")
Are you sure nothing happened ? Has anybody checked if Pluto is allright ? ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/14 "2008-09-10T20:09:22Z")
I’m fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing, what do you mean by “bad”? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/15 "2008-09-10T20:09:48Z")
Did you hear some chick in India actually killed herself over this? Lots of people are going to temple and praying, but I’m less concerned about that - after all, in this country people still stay home all day on Friday the 13th. I love the Large Hadron Collider even though I don’t understand fully what it does. It’s the coolest thing ever. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/16 "2008-09-10T20:19:35Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > after all, in this country people still stay home all day on Friday the 13th. Well, yeah, how else are they going to try to avoid Jason Voorhees? > [@Anaamika](#): > > I love the Large Hadron Collider even though I don’t understand fully what it does. It’s the coolest thing ever. It collides Hadrons, duh! 😉 I prefer the more pedestrian term “Atom Smasher” myself, it’s a big machine that smashes things, wonder if it could smash a Blendtec blender New website idea; “Will it Collide?!” Yayy, 'Mika’s back! 😃 And there was much rejoicing! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/17 "2008-09-10T20:31:51Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > Well, yeah, how else are they going to try to avoid Jason Voorhees? > > It collides Hadrons, duh! 😉 > > I prefer the more pedestrian term “Atom Smasher” myself, it’s a big machine that smashes things, wonder if it could smash a Blendtec blender > > New website idea; “Will it Collide?!” > Yayy, 'Mika’s back! 😃 > And there was much rejoicing! Yay! Well, thanks! Atom Smasher is a cool name, but it doesn’t match up to Large Hadron Collider, I’m sorry. ---
**Author:** ![puppygod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@puppygod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puppygod)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/18 "2008-09-10T20:32:04Z")
> [@detop](#): > > Are you sure nothing happened ? Has anybody checked if Pluto is allright ? Bad news, everybody. I just checked the planet roster and… there is no Pluto! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/19 "2008-09-10T20:36:22Z")
> [@puppygod](#): > > Bad news, everybody. I just checked the planet roster and… there is no Pluto! :eek: Ye gods, the large Hadron collider has disappeared Pluto! ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/20 "2008-09-10T20:41:46Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > You know, of course, that they’re only gradually ramping up collision energies? They don’t expect to get to universe-smashing levels at least for another month. Seriously? I thought it was safe to stop worrying today. ☹ I felt like I was going to barf all week… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972.md?page=2)