# The Large Hadron Collider has failed to bring catastrophe. I am vexed. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 10, 2008, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972 "2008-09-10T18:55:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/61 "2008-09-11T03:11:54Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > My birthday was 08/08/08 and nothing went boom-boom for me… (That’s the expression they use these days, right?) That’s because [eight is a lucky number](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/8_(number)#As_a_lucky_or_unlucky_number) in Chinese tradition. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/62 "2008-09-11T03:12:55Z")
CERN **will** release a black hole. This will be accompanied not by anti_matter_ but anti_time_. The black hole will be thrown backwards in space time. Creating the famed Tunguska blast. QED. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/63 "2008-09-11T03:17:22Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > That’s because [eight is a lucky number](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/8_(number)#As_a_lucky_or_unlucky_number) in Chinese tradition. Duh. Well, there’s the problem. I’m not Chinese. I didn’t even get laid; everyone was distracted by the Olympics. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/64 "2008-09-11T03:22:26Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Well, there’s the problem. I’m not Chinese. I didn’t even get laid; everyone was distracted by the Olympics. All you needed right there was initiative. “Hey, you know, today’s a really lucky day in the Chinese calendar, _and_ it’s my birthday…” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/65 "2008-09-11T03:23:54Z")
What bothers _me_ is that this potentially Universe-shattering experiment is being carried out by a bunch of namby-pamby, cheese-eating, black-turtlneck-wearing, Sartre-quoting _Europeans_. When it [should](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superconducting_Super_Collider) have been happening in Texas, by God! Clearly, gentlemen, what we have here is…a Hadron Gap! ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/66 "2008-09-11T03:29:19Z")
Ah well. I guess it’s back to the drawing board. Anyone got any good ideas about how to hold the world for ransom? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/67 "2008-09-11T03:39:34Z")
I know this is a naive thought for a man who has faced down HIT Marks, Nephandi, Black Spiral Dancers, and more vampires than you can shake a stake at- but why can’t people just be nice? Whence the urge to hold the world for ransom? Why not use your knowledge for good? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/68 "2008-09-11T03:41:13Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > What bothers _me_ is that this potentially Universe-shattering experiment is being carried out by a bunch of namby-pamby, cheese-eating, black-turtlneck-wearing, Sartre-quoting _Europeans_. When it [should](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superconducting_Super_Collider) have been happening in Texas, by God! > > Clearly, gentlemen, what we have here is…a Hadron Gap! Didn’t you guys have a Superconducting Supercollider half-constructed, and you cancelled it? I’m sorry, but if you let the initiative slip to Europe, that’s _your_ fault. Edit: [Yes, you did, it was in Texas, and it was even bigger that the one at CERN](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superconducting_Super_Collider). Edit: I just read your link. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/69 "2008-09-11T04:14:11Z")
I don’t care if there is a black hole or not so long as it takes care of Baltimore. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/70 "2008-09-11T04:38:34Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > I know this is a naive thought for a man who has faced down HIT Marks, Nephandi, Black Spiral Dancers, and more vampires than you can shake a stake at- but why can’t people just be nice? > > Whence the urge to hold the world for ransom? Why not use your knowledge for good? Well, that won’t be nearly as much fun, now would it? ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/71 "2008-09-11T04:55:30Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Didn’t you guys have a Superconducting Supercollider half-constructed, and you cancelled it? I’m sorry, but if you let the initiative slip to Europe, that’s _your_ fault. Oh, certainly, certainly. No doubt we’ll be ruing the day we ever elected those pusillanimous penny-pinching pantywaist politicians when we’re staring down the event horizon of a European black hole. ---
**Author:** ![puppygod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@puppygod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puppygod)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/72 "2008-09-11T07:59:01Z")
> [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](#): > > Ah well. I guess it’s back to the drawing board. > > Anyone got any good ideas about how to hold the world for ransom? Uh… Does that mean that Excel is involved in construction of LHC? Now, I’m worried. ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/73 "2008-09-11T08:18:40Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > [Here’s a useful link for tracking the status of this situation](http://www.hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com/) Even better: for those who don’t want to have to check the website regularly, they have an [RSS](http://www.hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com/rss.xml) feed. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/74 "2008-09-11T08:27:58Z")
> [@Punoqllads](#): > > Even better: for those who don’t want to have to check the website regularly, they have an [RSS](http://www.hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com/rss.xml) feed. They currently have false information. According to the International Earth-Destruction Advisory Board, a reputable organization regarding this matter built of experts in the field of geocide has conclusively detected and proved that the Earth is, in fact, [destroyed](http://qntm.org/?board). As such I think you need to let go, as per the advice on their page: > [@IEDAB](#): > > The Earth hasn’t been destroyed! What are you talking about? > > Some of you will find it tougher to let go than others. There will be counselling sessions running on Pluto starting in mid-April. The first is at 7:15pm on Thursday 18th. BYOO2. ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/75 "2008-09-11T09:26:40Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Still, it’s not without it’s charms. > I’m sorry, I’ll go. Strange you should say that … I am deeply ashamed of myself. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/76 "2008-09-11T09:30:51Z")
> [@shantih](#): > > > [@Marley23](#): > > > > Still, it’s not without it’s charms. > > I’m sorry, I’ll go. > > Strange you should say that … > > I am deeply ashamed of myself. Well, you know, your self esteem and your shame has ups and downs. You’ve bottomed out but should be back on top of the world soon enough! I’m REALLY ashamed of myself, but I love this place so much. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/77 "2008-09-11T11:42:09Z")
What I find really annoying is that there has been almost no reporting in the media that concentrates on the actual experimenting. Instead it’s all been the fears of a few fruitcakes about the world ending. Why does science only get reported if there’s a dumbed-down angle to draw the punters in? ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/78 "2008-09-11T11:50:17Z")
> [@puppygod](#): > > Uh… Does that mean that Excel is involved in construction of LHC? > > Now, I’m worried. Naw. No need to worry that Excel has left some kind of flaw in the construction of the LHC. She’s just part of the operations team. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/79 "2008-09-11T11:57:28Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > What I find really annoying is that there has been almost no reporting in the media that concentrates on the actual experimenting. Instead it’s all been the fears of a few fruitcakes about the world ending. Why does science only get reported if there’s a dumbed-down angle to draw the punters in? Yeah. I hate it when the Masses get together and accuse us of tampering with things man was not meant to know. Science must be advanced! ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972/80 "2008-09-11T12:18:50Z")
> [@puppygod](#): > > Bad news, everybody. I just checked the planet roster and… there is no Pluto! :eek: This device is even more sinister than I thought, instead of disappearing things, it reclassifies them instead. The human race will be destroyed not in a cloud of subatomic particles but will reappear as a branch of the shrimp family :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-large-hadron-collider-has-failed-to-bring-catastrophe-i-am-vexed/462972.md?page=5)