# The last great unsolved mystery - what do women do in the toilet? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 19, 2005, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015 "2005-04-19T07:16:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/1 "2005-04-19T07:16:52Z")
Why does it take them so long to go about their business, assuming a) that they’re only tinkling and b) it’s not the time of the month? Brief answers only on a small sheet of toilet tissue, PLEASE. There are people waiting to have a go. I wonder if **Cecil/Ed Zotti** has done this? ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/2 "2005-04-19T07:27:20Z")
Whatever it it is, it requires that they go in pairs. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/3 "2005-04-19T07:51:16Z")
My room mate believes that it involvoles golf clubs, vegetable oil, traffic cone, and hubcaps. But he’s kinda out of it right now, so I’m not too sure how reliable that is. _I_ think that it has something to do with small woddland animals and electrical sockets, but that’s just speculation, and I don’t want to bore you with the details. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/4 "2005-04-19T07:52:54Z")
Like we’d actually tell you what we’re doing in there. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/5 "2005-04-19T08:03:25Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > Like we’d actually tell you what we’re doing in there. Fight…ignorance. Then I may as well ask what you’re doing in _here_! ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/6 "2005-04-19T08:10:40Z")
We talk about _you._ ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/7 "2005-04-19T08:33:32Z")
> [@roger thornhill](#): > > Fight…ignorance. Then I may as well ask what you’re doing in _here_! How do you know I’m telling you the truth, though? ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/8 "2005-04-19T08:35:15Z")
Well… When I go in there, and I have to tinkle, it does take a few moments… I can’t just whip out a cool little hose and go to town. Depending on the outfit, this can take a moment or several moments. Then everything must be neatly patted dry, buttoned, pulled, tugged, and/or zipped back up. Seat down, flush. Then on to the hand washing, which involves soap and water. Wet, lather, rinse. Dry hands with towel. After all of this, there’s often the glance over in the mirror, and if anything seems wrong or out of place, out comes the hairbrush, tissues, compact, and/or touchup brush. Sometimes a quick tooth brushing, to make sure the breath is fresh and the teeth are shiny. Check the posture, brush off any lint, and off I go. This applies to \*all \* washrooms, public or home/friends. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/9 "2005-04-19T09:50:23Z")
We’re plotting against the men. Obviously. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![WeRSauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f19dbf/32.png) [@WeRSauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WeRSauron)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/10 "2005-04-19T10:05:37Z")
[tongue in cheek] Well, if they are _in_ the toilet, I hope someone’s helping them get out. Are women wont to fall or step inside toilets often? [/tongue in cheek] WRS ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/11 "2005-04-19T10:12:23Z")
> [@AngelicGemma](#): > > We’re plotting against the men. Obviously. 😉 I knew that. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/12 "2005-04-19T10:19:17Z")
queue. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/13 "2005-04-19T10:21:28Z")
You know, of course, the previous answers were a smokescreen. We can’t tell you. We like you. If we told you we’d have to… well… you wouldn’t like it… and that’s not in a good way… …🆒 …🆒 …🆒 …🆒 …🆒 …🆒 .🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/14 "2005-04-19T10:35:01Z")
> [@WeRSauron](#): > > [tongue in cheek] Well, if they are _in_ the toilet, I hope someone’s helping them get out. Are women wont to fall or step inside toilets often? [/tongue in cheek] > > WRS Only if you leave the seat up! 😉 (Also tongue in cheek – I’ve been known to put the seat back up if I’m visiting a gentleman’s home.) Actually, **Anastasaeon** makes a good point. You know those cute, sexy outfits we wear sometimes? Some of them take a bit of time and effort to put on and take off, especially if stockings are involved. We really can’t just whip it out and let fly and it does take a bit of time to put things back together. CJ ---
**Author:** ![Tabby\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tabby\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabby_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/15 "2005-04-19T10:38:13Z")
> [@WeRSauron](#): > > [tongue in cheek] Well, if they are _in_ the toilet, I hope someone’s helping them get out. Are women wont to fall or step inside toilets often? [/tongue in cheek] > > WRS [Once again, Singapore comes through (scroll all the way down)](http://app.nea.gov.sg/cms/htdocs/article.asp?pid=336) You know, it would be depressing, if it weren’t so hillarious. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/16 "2005-04-19T11:19:50Z")
Well, between the couches, big screen TV, the massage therapists, and the hot tub, there’s a lot to choose from in the average women’s restroom. And don’t even get me started on the lavish ones. I can’t tell you how hard it is to get out of those, with the free cocktails and all. ---
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/17 "2005-04-19T13:44:27Z")
One time at the Hollywood Bowl I had to use the facilities. So I went down to their location and without looking at signs turned into a door to be confronted by a whole row of women in front of mirrors. They were powdering their noses. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/18 "2005-04-19T14:09:46Z")
This has actually been studied, in the formal research followed by paper published in academic journal way. (I’m bad at googling, so no link.) Most of the reasons were as mentioned/suspected: longer time needed due to anatomy/dress styles, more time spent on grooming, some chit chat over ‘do you like the guy?’ and planning how/if to split up into pairs vs. a foursome, etc. But there was one that was both totally unexpected and yet so true it made me wince in recollection: Sometimes the women linger in the bathroom because it gives them a chance to talk about what THEY want to talk about. Think about it. Many girls are brought up to be ‘good conversationalists’, which means mostly smiling and saying ‘how interesting’ and ‘what a clever idea’ and most of all, making sure you talk about the other person and what he/she finds interesting. Usually this works well, but sometimes if you put two girls and two men at a table, the men sort of compete with each other to be the ‘star’ of the conversation, the one holding the most attention. This can either get nasty and unpleasant for the onlookers, or the conversation can get cemented into some subject that both guys happen to like, be it some sport, politics, kungfu movies, a type of music… And after that has gone on long enough for the women to feel they can’t take it any longer, one of them suggests hitting the rest room. Where before, while and after the tinkling and grooming, they can swap diet tips or recipes or commiserate over their cramps or gripe about their bosses or talk about a DIFFERENT sport/type of music/horror movies/whatever. And then they can take deep breaths and go out and chirp, “So, did you decide which band has the better drummer?” F/F conversation just has a more give and take ethos, you both try to be sure the other girl gets her chance to talk. Way different from most M/F conversation, at least until that M/F pairing has become old friends. Mind: I’m not saying this is all the guy’s fault. If his partner is saying “how fascinating” as he talks about building his cabin in the woods, it’s not unreasonable for him to think he should keep talking about it. He’s ‘doing his part’, he’s ‘keeping the conversation going’, he’s doing his best to ‘entertain her.’ Isn’t that what he’s been told he should do? It’s just an unhappy outcome that can happen when two people have internalized different ‘rules’ for how a conversation should go. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/19 "2005-04-19T14:14:06Z")
Eek. I know this is tongue-in-cheek but I would like to protest highly. I never want to go to the bathroom with any other female. I hate this habit. I am perfectly capable of going on my own, thankyouverymuch. I remember once I got up to go to the bathroom and one of the girls at the table said, “I’ll go with you.” Huh? I don’t need you to hold my hand! Also, I spend less time in the bathroom than my SO does. I can take 3-minute showers regularly. He spends 20 minutes soaking up the heat. And I could probably beat you guys in and out of the bathroom if all things were equal (you use a stall, pull down your pants, etc.) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/20 "2005-04-20T01:20:36Z")
I realise I have been guilty of terminological inexactitude. What I really wanted to learn was why women spend so long in the stall, cubicle, what have you. Chats in fron od the mirrors or by the hand-dryers aren’t responsible for the long queues that regularly form outside women’s restrooms in virtually any country in the western world. These queues aren’t for mirror space, they’re for stall space. Here in HK, women suggest (through letters to teh newspapers, for example) that more stalls be built as of course in women’s restroom facilities to alleviate the problem of delays and queuing. But, I had this thought that however many stalls you built, they’d fill up just as quickly as now, and empty just as slowly as now as well. If Parkinson’s Law refers to the observed phenomenon of work expanding to fill the time available for its completion, then I propose Costner’s Law for women’s toilets: “If you build it, she will come.” But never leave… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015.md?page=2)