# The last great unsolved mystery - what do women do in the toilet? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 19, 2005, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015 "2005-04-19T07:16:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/41 "2005-04-20T16:11:38Z")
There is a pool in there. We were taught to use the buddy system while swimming. Obviously, changing, doing a few laps, changing, redoing our hair and makeup is all going to take a while. (I can get in and out really fast - unless I’m having GI issues, then it might take a while, or I’ll be making return trips quickly.) ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2005, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/42 "2005-04-20T17:34:40Z")
Often, we curse being female and taking longer in the bathroom. 🙂 Related topic: What _is_ it with women and showers? I’m quite apparently the only one in my dorm who can manage a five-minute shower. Granted, that doesn’t include washing my hair (which is super-thick and down to my mid-back). If my hair were short again, then I know I could shower, including washing my hair, be out of the shower in seven minutes, and dressed ten minutes after that. Not that I usually do it this fast, but damn, I’m glad I can when I wake up at 8;40 and have a 9 AM class… ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/43 "2005-04-22T05:59:50Z")
Right, I can now report back to my daughter, who is pissed because I’ll no longer let her use the Men’s toilet, however much she moans about all the hanging around. Summary of reasons why women take so long in the stall Taking down clothes Wiping seat clean before sitting down/squatting. Replace clothing Doing hair and make-up in private Stealth-pooping manoeuvre, waiting for everyone else to vacate the restroom (Natalie will love this one) Stiil doesn’t seem like an adequate explanation to me, but a lot of you have registered your own amazement at fellow females’ antics. Maybe having had to wait for so long, they want to make others wait a long time too. **Capybara** , you say that (menstruating) women menstruate for a quarter of each month, which is 7-8 days. It may be a long time since I did my O-level biology, but in those days it was 4-5 days on average, _exceptional cases_ being as little as two days and as long as eight days (discounting altogether cases of FGM). **WhyNot** , blokes take part in stall-to-stall conversation too in similar quiet situations, say in the departmental toilet. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/44 "2005-04-22T06:40:06Z")
> [@Athena](#): > > Well, between the couches, big screen TV, the massage therapists, and the hot tub, there’s a lot to choose from in the average women’s restroom. And don’t even get me started on the lavish ones. I can’t tell you how hard it is to get out of those, with the free cocktails and all. My sister had me going on this when we were about ten years old. School toilets are a pretty spartan affair of concrete, cold taps, steel and porcelain, and this is all I kew. She one day casually mentioned the mirrors, heating, hot towels, and carpet in the girls’ loo. Believed it for years, I did. > [@roger thornhill](#): > > Not just socially acceptable; it’s a kind of badge of manhood to wee next to another man (preferably with one urinal in between, lest he think you gay) and chat about this and that quite nonchalantly. You mustn’t look at him more than say twice in the time it takes to finish, shake and all, and glancing below the waist is a no-no. Blackadder II (with “Bob”) reflects on this aspect of constructed masculinity very nicely. Seinfeld deals with this topic well too. I have to say though, as a proud upholder of the blokey-but-not-gay-not-that-there’s-anything-wrong-with-that-mind-you tradition of nonchalant male urinal chat\*, that it seems to be dying out. More and more men seem to be using the stalls instead (usually door open). This used to be only reserved for when the urinal was full, but in the last few years I’ve seen a good percentage of men avoid the urinal completely. Back to the women’s toilets, and although I’ve never set foot in one when they have been in use, I have _cleaned_ the things. Fellas, I can’t be sure what they do in there, but I give you an educated guess. It is a violent, orgiastic mayhem involving broken glass, lipstick, gallons of water, and toilet paper. Lots and lots of toilet paper. Seriously, there is toilet paper EVERYWHERE. All over the floor, in the sinks, hanging over the tops of the stall walls and doors, dangling off the light fittings, brimming out of the toilet bowls themselves… And it all seems clean. whatever they do in there, it looks like they had fun. The cleaners don’t, but they do. \*[sub]“Geez, that feels better.” _Yair, mate. Sure does._ {pause} “Going to watch the cricket?” _Naah I can’t. Workin’. Should be a good match, but._ “Yep”.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/45 "2005-04-22T07:33:48Z")
> [@TheLoadedDog](#): > > Back to the women’s toilets, and although I’ve never set foot in one when they have been in use Only kinky old blokes like David Simmons do that… > [@TLD](#): > > I have _cleaned_ the things…gallons of water What? All over the floor? Is that why they wear high heels? ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/46 "2005-04-22T16:29:06Z")
A good friend of mine came up with the following non-sequitur when someone asked, “Why do women always go to the restroom in pairs?” “In case one of them faints, the other one can turn the machine off.” ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/47 "2005-04-22T16:57:00Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > When she’s in there even longer? You can assume her period came when she wasn’t expecting it, and all of the above was followed by her leaving the stall to find a tampon machine, and reentering the stall to do all of the above all over again to insert the tampon. And this is why I always keep a pad in my purse, so I don’t have to go through all that. Been there, done that, never again. _shudder_ (It also helps that I’m on the pill so I have a damn good idea when it’ll arrive…) ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/48 "2005-04-22T17:14:06Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > I choose to believe that when all women use the restroom, they are furiously masturbating themselves while thinking about what a hot stud I am. > > I can have whatever fantasies I want, damnit! We’re actually having pillow fights. You know, we change into little lace teddies, gently whack each other with pillows, get all heated by each other’s jiggling breasts, then eventually start having sex. That’s why we look so pink and refreshed when we return to the table. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/49 "2005-04-22T21:22:07Z")
I often find that, you know, as long as I’ve got my hands down there anyway . . . . ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/50 "2005-04-22T21:35:29Z")
> [@pinkfreud](#): > > Well, sitting in that stall in the ladies’ room is my “quiet time.” I knit an afghan or two, hum the complete symphonies of Gustav Mahler, tweeze my legs, trim my naughty bits, and then lean back to relax while reading the unabridged Oxford English Dictionary. If I really have to, I might pee, but somebody might hear me, so I’d rather hold it in until later. > [@roger thornhill](#): > > God, you turn me on. \ It’s not me, it’s my OED. When I walk down the street, guys holler “Hey, baby, lemme look in your lexicon.” ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015/51 "2005-04-23T01:33:29Z")
> [@pinkfreud](#): > > \ It’s not me, it’s my OED. When I walk down the street, guys holler “Hey, baby, lemme look in your lexicon.” If a guy shows any interest, I bet you love to (l)et-ym-on. Won’t let him phil-o-logic-al, though, you tease! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-great-unsolved-mystery-what-do-women-do-in-the-toilet/300015.md?page=2)