# The Last of My Vices Has Been Wrested From Me . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 17, 2003, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491 "2003-06-17T16:16:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/41 "2003-06-18T02:13:42Z")
I think you should turn into a kook to distract yourself. Let herbs take over your home like the dead neighbor in Rosemary’s Baby. Wrap a turban around your head and buy a Ouija board. Make voluminous lists of personal slights. Start thinking _a lot_ about Vitamin C. Or get a second opinion. It’s hard to believe that they won’t give you a reprieve - ever. Living in Manhattan and being relegated to a diet of kitty litter is just plain wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/42 "2003-06-18T05:38:37Z")
\ I feel your pain, **Eve.** I don’t drink, do drugs or have sex. (unfortunately) So the occasional oatmeal cookie is all the thrill I get in a normal day. I think you may just have to teach your doctor the meaning of law, if you know what I mean… ---
**Author:** ![BornOfStardust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@BornOfStardust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornOfStardust)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/43 "2003-06-18T05:38:52Z")
Not to pry, but why so pessimistic about ever having sex again? Shucks, surely you could get laid if you tried… 😉 And I second the second-opinion notion. And yeah, drugs…at least heavy drugs…probably not a great idea, although I doubt pot would hurt much. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/44 "2003-06-18T06:48:09Z")
Why not kidnap prostitutes, impregnate them, and sell their babies to lesbian couples? ---
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/45 "2003-06-18T07:25:11Z")
Grab a couple of hundreds and get yourself a PS2 and some good games…then spend the rest of your days with your eyes glued to the TV and the controller being an extension of your hands… Probably something like Vice City… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/46 "2003-06-18T07:26:57Z")
Somebody has to say this. I’ve got the bizzare sword and cuirass made from recycled junk. I can take a train to the Big Apple, rent a horse and ride to the castle of fair Eve. There, I shall anounce my presence to everyone by singing Dulcinaya(rather poorly). Once in the lady’s chambers, I shall valiantly pit my skill against her atheism. I will make her joyously cry out God’s name again and again and again. ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/47 "2003-06-18T10:23:21Z")
When I try to picture Eve using drugs, I can only see her in an opium den, elegantly stretched out on a chinese rug. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/48 "2003-06-18T13:03:29Z")
To channel all the frustration, why not take up a bit job writing for the Weekly World News. Under an alias, naturally. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/49 "2003-06-18T13:08:27Z")
Too late . . . And **masonite** ," there are two kinds of people in this world: my kind, and assholes." My mother and I were discussing what kind of drugs I might take up. “What about the stuff you put on the mirror and sniff, dear?” she asked. Nope, that keeps you awake. I’m thinking heroin—but does it come in a pill? I hate needles. “I shall valiantly pit my skill against her atheism.” —Puh-lease, **Doc** , puh-_lease!_ ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/50 "2003-06-18T14:07:57Z")
ISTR that exercise is good for reducing cholesterol. Now take a good look at those vices, Eve. Which among them includes aerobic exercise? That’s right, the most deadly vice of all. LADIES’ AMATEUR BOXING. Gambling _and_ senseless violence! Hey, put the bats down! ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/51 "2003-06-18T17:11:53Z")
You COULD sue “Time” for their comments about Jean Harlow in last week’s issue. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/52 "2003-06-18T19:08:23Z")
What what _what?_ What comments? Spill, quick! ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/53 "2003-06-18T19:26:36Z")
Oh look! I found a [shot](http://www.imagesjournal.com/issue08/reviews/shanghai/text.htm) of **Eve** in the opium den! (scroll down, she’s on the left) If you need any recipes for that soy chicken (mmmm…soy chicken) let me know. And you can always snort the horse. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/54 "2003-06-18T19:54:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\* > > “I shall valiantly pit my skill against her atheism.” > > —Puh-lease, **Doc** , puh-_lease!_ \*\* And I was worried my comments would be too sexually explicit and offensive. Apparently, my double entendre wasn’t as clear as I thought. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/55 "2003-06-18T20:01:20Z")
“If you really want to, sir, but most of us just ride it into town!” So, **Gov**., what did _Time_ say about Jean?! ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/56 "2003-06-18T21:12:45Z")
Well, I don’t have the copy of “Time” in front of me, but, from what I recall, it was a blurb in their back-page section about plans to cast Gwen Stefani as Harlow in a planned Howard Hughes biopic. “She looks good, and probably can’t act. She’d be perfect.” (Sorry about how late this is, but I was off my computer until a few minutes ago.) ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/57 "2003-06-18T21:15:43Z")
Correction. I now have the copy of “Time” with the comments in it. Turn to pg. 79 in the June 16th issue. Quoting “Time” directly: “Stefani is blond, she’s brassy, she probably can’t act… basically, she’s perfect” So, interested in my proposal at all? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/58 "2003-06-18T21:30:35Z")
I find it offensive when anybody tries to force their beliefs on others. I would never do such a thing. ``` My offer was not to visit Eve and witness at her. I'm posting a second explanation just to make this clear. I was simply offering to rip off her gown and ravish her thoroughly. I knew I should have ended that first post "and afterwards, we can cuddle." ``` ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/59 "2003-06-18T22:32:27Z")
Idiot _Time_ writer . . . Bet he’s never even _seen_ a Jean Harlow film! **Doc** , if you are planning to rip off my gown, you know you _will_ have to buy me a new one? And I have very expensive tastes . . . ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491/60 "2003-06-18T22:37:29Z")
Best of all, Eve, because that particular article wasn’t given a writer credit, legally, it can be assumed to be the opinion of “Time”, giving merit for, if not a lawsuit, at least an angry “letter to the editor”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-of-my-vices-has-been-wrested-from-me/182491.md?page=4)