# The Last Starfighter To Be A Musical **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 28, 2004, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561 "2004-09-28T21:26:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/21 "2004-09-29T05:08:48Z")
And this is better than a movie, because: _Why?_ ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/22 "2004-09-29T05:14:41Z")
> [@adam yax](#): > > The real question is how many performances will they do before the show closes. I’m sure they’ll have a lot more time to do the show when they don’t have to keep stopping to let people in and out of the theater. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/23 "2004-09-29T15:29:28Z")
$19? It’ll be worth it. Oooh boy will it be worth it. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/24 "2004-09-29T15:36:14Z")
You’re a naughty one, Saucy Jack! You’re a haughty one, Saucy Jack! ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/25 "2004-09-29T15:37:34Z")
> [@moriah](#): > > One of these is an actual musical in production (touring, not on Broadway, yet). Can you guess which? > > * * * > > Brady!: A Very Brady Musical (starring Pia Zadora) > > The Ten Commandments: The Musical Spectacle (starring Val Kilmer) > > Go General Lee! (based on Starsky and Hutch, starring David Hasselhoff) > > Reefer Madnessmania! (starring Paul Reubens [aka Peewee Herman]) > > * * * > > Peace, the musical. That would be the 10 Commandments. I have a couple tickets for it in LA. I’ll come back and report on how awful it is if I can actually drag myself to it. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/26 "2004-09-29T15:45:48Z")
“Zoo Animals on Rollerskates” is no longer a spoofe. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/27 "2004-09-29T16:51:49Z")
> [@lightingtool](#): > > That would be the 10 Commandments. I have a couple tickets for it in LA. I’ll come back and report on how awful it is if I can actually drag myself to it. Oh, good. I was hoping it wasn’t _Go, General Lee!_, because the General Lee was the name of the car in Dukes of Hazzard, not Starsky & Hutch. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/28 "2004-09-29T17:29:01Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Ok sportsfans, what’s _your idea_ for a new and original musical? > > And don’t say The Wrath of Kahn, cause that’s **mine!** You jest, but years ago I read that a theatre company was commissioning a composer the write a Star Trek opera. Meh. With an opera called Nixon in China, I shouldn’t be surprised. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/29 "2004-09-29T17:58:43Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Meh. With an opera called Nixon in China, I shouldn’t be surprised. I _like_ Nixon in China. > [@](#): > > “That little rat… I’d like to give his goddam whip a crack!” > > “Oh Dick… Don’t say this!” ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/30 "2004-09-29T18:55:20Z")
I’d pay premium ticket price for a Last Starfighter musical just to see the interpretive dance finale that they come up with when Alex presses the Death Blossom button. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/31 "2004-09-29T20:46:57Z")
Xur’s big finish song, What Do We Do? Xur: Oh General! Our engines our failing! Oh General! The moon draws ever nearer! This wasn’t supposed to happen. How can we make it right? The galaxy is meant to be hailing, Emperor Xur. It was perfect 'til this Earthling interferer Won the spaceship fight. What do we do? Oh what do we do? C’mon general and give me a clue! (I’ll be merciful and skip to the end) What do we do? Oh tell me how and why! What do we do? That’s what I’m asking you. What technobabble will make this flagship fly. What do we do? General: We die! ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/32 "2004-09-29T21:14:34Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > You jest, but years ago I read that a theatre company was commissioning a composer the write a Star Trek opera. > > Meh. With an opera called Nixon in China, I shouldn’t be surprised. _Nixon in China_ is actually one of the best operas of the last several decades. It’s one of only a couple, IMHO, that are likely to make it into the eternal repertoire. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/33 "2004-09-29T21:22:26Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > _Nixon in China_ is actually one of the best operas of the last several decades. It’s one of only a couple, IMHO, that are likely to make it into the eternal repertoire. Really? Well, I guess I should give it a listen, then. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/34 "2004-09-30T00:34:49Z")
There are very few good musicals in existence, which I shall kindly list here. Observe: The Last Unicorn Moulin Rouge Rent South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut Everything else sucks. ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/35 "2004-09-30T06:35:03Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Oh, good. I was hoping it wasn’t _Go, General Lee!_, because the General Lee was the name of the car in Dukes of Hazzard, not Starsky & Hutch. Oops. Got my schlocky TV dramas (dramas!?) mixed up. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/36 "2004-09-30T08:31:54Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#): > > There are very few good musicals in existence, which I shall kindly list here. […] Everything else sucks. I have a hard time imagining how someone could like those specific musicals and not like _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_. Then again, I like _Man of La Mancha_. (Except for that one song.) ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/37 "2004-09-30T09:09:41Z")
The problem I have with Avenue Q is, well, the music sucks. In two ways. First, the songs just aren’t that good. The song about being “a little racist” is just fucking abominable. But even if we admit that “The Internet is for Porn” is a little catchy (no, I don’t like it, but I can understand its appeal to some), it’s not a showtune. Showtunes, with very few exceptions, don’t have refrains. The usually go Intro-Verses-Bridge-Verse. “Internet/Porn” is just a shit little jingle with a refrain. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/38 "2004-09-30T11:41:12Z")
[QUOTE=sturmhauke] Rent QUOTE] Rent is mired in the muck of the early 90s. While it’s fine for one viewing, repeated exposure is a “reality bites” version of Clockwork orange. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/39 "2004-09-30T12:07:29Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > The problem I have with Avenue Q is, well, the music sucks. In two ways. First, the songs just aren’t that good. The song about being “a little racist” is just fucking abominable. But even if we admit that “The Internet is for Porn” is a little catchy (no, I don’t like it, but I can understand its appeal to some), it’s not a showtune. > > Showtunes, with very few exceptions, don’t have refrains. The usually go Intro-Verses-Bridge-Verse. “Internet/Porn” is just a shit little jingle with a refrain. Don’t worry, you’re not alone with that opinion. I enjoy Avenue Q, but there’s no way it should have won best book or best music (or best show) over Wicked. Wicked’s music is just better. Period. It’s got depth to it, whereas Avenue Q _does_ sound like Sesame Street - great for introducing kids to music, but not so great for a musical. And my biggest issue with Avenue Q is that the plot is essentially close to RENT with a few minor differences. Wicked _should_ have won this year - it’s just a superior show. Of course, had Assassins been in the best NEW musical category, where it belonged, it would have beaten both shows. (I’m so glad to find someone else who feels this way about Avenue Q!) Ava ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561/40 "2004-09-30T14:52:16Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > Meh. I knew it was over when I saw that Police Academy 9 was in production. The guy reponsible for the upcoming _Dukes of Hazzard_ movie also has a _Get Smart_ movie in the works. And Cedric the Entertainer is planning a remake of the Rodney Dangerfield classic (;))_Back to School_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-last-starfighter-to-be-a-musical/266561.md?page=3)