# The latest assessment essay gems **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 23, 2014, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736 "2014-04-23T03:21:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/181 "2016-02-04T02:36:47Z")
Got a few more… Once something happens, I will get eternal happiness, but it won’t last long. * * * Once I’m where I’m at, that’s when I know my life has officially started. * * * ## I hope to one day play video games with my future kids, bonding with them. I also can’t wait for them to inevitably throw me in a retirement home as well, because I know then there will be other people my age with an equal passion for video games, finding an escape from the pains of old age, playing them until we die. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/182 "2016-02-04T03:08:05Z")
So unintentionally Zen. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2016, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/183 "2016-02-11T04:29:41Z")
## More from today, to hold you till next week… ## Cell phones and their addictivity needs to be taken care of. Most of my family exposes themselves. In order to compete competitively you have to go to many competitions. We are useless without technology. One day in 2005 I walked into a Walmart bathroom and it changed my life. That last one kinda scared me. :eek:😛 ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2016, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/184 "2016-02-11T13:48:39Z")
I’m guessing these aren’t all from the same essay. 😛 Love this thread. ---
**Author:** ![NuclearBombPop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@NuclearBombPop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NuclearBombPop)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2016, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/185 "2016-02-11T15:21:03Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > One day in 2005 I walked into a Walmart bathroom and it changed my life I really hope it wasn’t related to [this](http://http://wnep.com/2015/03/13/meth-lab-found-inside-walmart-restroom-in-indiana/)incident. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2016, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/186 "2016-02-11T15:47:17Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > One day in 2005 I walked into a Walmart bathroom and it changed my life. Oh, I must know more. Continue. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2016, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/187 "2016-02-11T15:55:29Z")
I was just walking down the aisle and suddenly I turned into a bathroom! ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2016, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/188 "2016-02-11T15:59:53Z")
So naturally, therefore, being an entire room, I could no longer move, so I asked someone to call me a cab. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2016, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/189 "2016-02-11T16:51:54Z")
If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought ‘Nah, forget it’ - ‘Yo, holmes to Bel Air’ ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2016, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/190 "2016-02-11T17:26:44Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Oh, I must know more. Continue. Actually it turned out to be a decent, if not very interesting, story. Sorry I couldn’t do better. We will be reading like maniacs for a while, since the local feeder high schools, in their infinite wisdom, have decided to administer this exam to 1800 students over the next two weeks. I hope they don’t think we can read all of those essays in just a few sessions of three hours each. We may need some 1800 tequila by the time we’re done, if not before. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2016, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/191 "2016-02-11T21:29:05Z")
There you go. Make a drinking game out of it. So many shots for misspelled words, incorrect grammar, and general off-the-wallness. I’m sure you’d whip through those essays in no time. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2016, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/192 "2016-02-17T22:36:18Z")
## From this week: Many are familiar with life. It is a wonderful thing. At the age of 12 years of age, my father was arrested and sent to prison. Life is short. Also, it can be extremely long. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2016, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/193 "2016-02-17T23:15:02Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > We are useless without technology. This is true. We are a technological species the same way the gazelle is a fast species. We don’t make up for deficient claws and teeth with technology, any more than a crocodile makes up for deficient wings with swimming ability: We evolved to use technology as our dominant survival strategy, and so far it has served us extremely well. It isn’t something any human culture has ever been without, back to the beginnings of humanity and before, given that we see worked stone technology in digs associated with prehuman hominids. ---
**Author:** ![Ellecram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellecram/32/18948_2.png) [@Ellecram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellecram)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/194 "2016-02-18T04:43:58Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > ## One day in 2005 I walked into a Walmart bathroom and it changed my life. > > That last one kinda scared me. :eek:😛 He discovered someone with a bag of pilfered combs and a bottle of hair spray trying to tame the Empire State building sized hair on his arms? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/195 "2016-02-18T09:16:00Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Yes, you must remember that everything was in black and white back then. Without light to show the white, everything and everyONE was black. No, that was later. First it was all dark. Then there was Edison and everybody tried to yell “OW MY EYES!” but they could not, for there was no sound. As people were now able to see, they could start moving, but they moved jerkily and stumbled often. Eventually their movements became smoother and they learned to talk, rather than needing to use highly-condensed text on cardboard (which they also could not see before the Bulb). And years later but still in prehistorical times\*, the world got color. - defined as “before the person writing about lightbulbs was born”. ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/196 "2016-02-18T10:35:19Z")
**Nava:** Brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2016, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/197 "2016-03-05T03:59:53Z")
## A few more gems for you… When I was born, I was born into a very strange family. I didn’t know what to expect. I don’t think anyone does. * * * I hope to one day play video games with my future kids, bonding with them. I also can’t wait for them to inevitably throw me into a retirement home as well, because I know then there will be other people my age with an equal passion for video games, finding an escape from the pains of old age, playing them until we die. ---
**Author:** ![USCDiver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uscdiver/32/354_2.png) [@USCDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/USCDiver)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2016, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/198 "2016-03-05T15:06:02Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > I hope to one day play video games with my future kids, bonding with them. I also can’t wait for them to inevitably throw me into a retirement home as well, because I know then there will be other people my age with an equal passion for video games, finding an escape from the pains of old age, playing them until we die. Either someone’s been plagiarizing or you’re not getting many new ones these days. This one was posted a month ago. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2016, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/199 "2016-03-06T06:46:27Z")
> [@USCDiver](#): > > Either someone’s been plagiarizing or you’re not getting many new ones these days… There’s another possiblity,too. Straight from the OP: > [@](#): > > We will be reading like maniacs for a while… 1800 students over the next two weeks. . > We may need some 1800 tequila by the time we’re done, if not before. 🙂 Good for you, **vivalostwages**! And do try to keep posting. This is always a fun thread. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2016, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/200 "2016-03-09T02:03:19Z")
Queen Elizabeth is an example due to the amount of people looking up to her for running the country of Europe. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736.md?page=11)