# The latest assessment essay gems **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 23, 2014, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736 "2014-04-23T03:21:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2017, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/241 "2017-04-20T13:55:03Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > ## From yesterday: > > My habit is being the greatest version of myself in every possible way. > > * * * With a little more vocabulary, this person will fit right into a marketing department. ---
**Author:** ![Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cornelius_Tuggerson)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2017, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/242 "2017-04-20T14:40:07Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > My habit is being the greatest version of myself in every possible way. Clearly a life coach in the making ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2017, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/243 "2017-04-20T15:03:01Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > With a little more vocabulary, this person will fit right into a marketing department. Or with a bit less, President of the United States! ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2017, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/244 "2017-04-20T17:00:27Z")
> [@digs](#): > > One girl just couldn’t turn in a boring final, so at the end she wrote **“I,m a Stegosuar”** in a cartoon balloon, being said by a preschool drawing … of … an apatosaurus. Wait, in addition to misidentifying and misspelling the name of the dinosaur, she used a _comma_ instead of an apostrophe? How the hell does _that_ usage enter one’s consciousness? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/245 "2017-04-21T03:42:39Z")
> [@iamthewalrus\_3](#): > > Wait, in addition to misidentifying and misspelling the name of the dinosaur, she used a _comma_ instead of an apostrophe? How the hell does _that_ usage enter one’s consciousness? Actually, I’m tempted to ask her. She’s at that sweet spot of the Dunning-Kruger curve where it wouldn’t occur to her that her grammar (or prehistoric taxonomy) would be a problem. But I’d be afraid she’d notice that I was peeing myself trying not to laugh. Get this, this is a college class. I’ll just let that sink in, while I mention that she writes 6th grade level Powerpuff Girls fan fiction all day, every day, during every class. In between naps at her desk. Then gets assignments wrong because she wasn’t listening to the instructions. Oh, and she wears an elaborate steampunk hat with goggles and headphones and a unicorn horn. And a day-glo cat tail. Also every day. Oh, in the spirit of this thread, she came up with this gem today. We weren’t discussing drugs, someone had merely mentioned a small town nearby… _“Kids in small towns are doing smack. And heroin. And acid. Which is as bad as LSD. And smack is as big of a problem as heroin. In small towns.”_ ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/246 "2017-04-21T13:14:47Z")
> [@digs](#): > > \_“Kids in small towns are doing smack. And heroin. And acid. Which is as bad as LSD. And smack is as big of a problem as heroin. In small towns.”_ …unicorn horn, day-glo tail…hmm. Perhaps she’s speaking from experience. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/247 "2017-04-21T14:26:05Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Oh, and she wears an elaborate steampunk hat with goggles and headphones and a unicorn horn. And a day-glo cat tail. Also every day. It may be time to [turn her in](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBNss2PMj60), for her own good. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/248 "2017-04-21T21:28:09Z")
> [@digs](#): > > I’ll just let that sink in, while I mention that she writes 6th grade level Powerpuff Girls fan fiction all day, every day, during every class. In between naps at her desk. Then gets assignments wrong because she wasn’t listening to the instructions. While she’s obviously going to struggle in a college environment right now, at least she’s found something she’s passionate about and is working on creating something. Plenty of people start out creating pretty sophomoric art, but keep at it, and become great writers or artists. Some people even skip that step and go directly from [fan fiction to massively successful professional writer](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fifty_Shades#Original_fan_fiction), which is nice work if you can get it. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/249 "2017-04-21T21:37:35Z")
> [@iamthewalrus\_3](#): > > Wait, in addition to misidentifying and misspelling the name of the dinosaur, she used a _comma_ instead of an apostrophe? How the hell does _that_ usage enter one’s consciousness? Depending on her drawing/lettering skills, one could hope that it was just a slip of the pen that she couldn’t/didn’t correct. If one was a hopeful sort. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/250 "2017-04-21T21:58:53Z")
Cut her some slack. She’s getting into the character of a dinosaur. You think they knew how to spell or use punctuation? ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2017, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/251 "2017-12-11T04:23:41Z")
Students should take higher education in high school so they’re better prepared for college. Life never ends until you’re 10 feet down with nothing but dirt to see up. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2017, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/252 "2017-12-11T06:30:33Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > Life never ends until you’re 10 feet down with nothing but dirt to see up. This one is sorta profound, and … deep. A little too deep, actually… 'Cause everybody knows that a casket is only only **6** feet under the dirt. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2017, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/253 "2017-12-11T08:12:49Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > Students should take higher education in high school so they’re better prepared for college. > > Life never ends until you’re 10 feet down with nothing but dirt to see up. Hopefully it ends at some stage before that. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2020, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/254 "2020-11-10T03:57:09Z")
Zombie thread rising… AB 705 has effectively killed this kind of assessment, but I do have more than enough gems to fill a book. So, what shall it be? Kindle? Traditional paper copies? Other? Seriously, what do you suggest? ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2020, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/255 "2020-11-10T08:45:01Z")
Traditional paper copies, accompanied by an e-book. Based on the number of people I see at the local bookstore perusing traditional paper books, you won’t go wrong with that form of publication. Producing an e-book for those who prefer that form of publication is just icing on the cake. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2020, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/256 "2020-11-11T01:55:43Z")
A friend just did a kickstarter for her book\*, and she’s offering an e-book, a paperback copy with e-book version, and a signed hardcover …with e-book, since it’s basically a free add-on. \*her book that’s barely started, so her kickstarter is just for the first 3 chapters. Pretty smart, all her friends are jumping at the chance to spend $20-35 for the hardcover with a custom doodle on the title page. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736.md?page=12)