# The latest assessment essay gems **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 23, 2014, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736 "2014-04-23T03:21:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/61 "2014-08-24T09:08:10Z")
I love that word (_zeugma_). Am I right in surmising that it comes from the German word for “train”? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/62 "2014-08-24T10:36:13Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > I love that word (_zeugma_). Am I right in surmising that it comes from the German word for “train”? No, Greek, “yoking together”. I like my example above because “barking” governs the two different objects as a different part of speech; it’s an adjective in “barking mad” and a present participle in “barking up the wrong tree”. On the other hand, the pooping dog quote is _not_ an instance of a zeugma, because the word “pooped” is explicitly written out each time (and with the same meaning, even if the “pooped” is only figurative in the second case). (Now if you wrote “At the height of the storm, the seas pooped the ship and I my pants”, that would be an excellent example 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2014, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/63 "2014-09-08T04:25:14Z")
Two from last week: * * * I don’t even like science. I just started writing about the ninja turtles because it’s a cool movie and I need to fill in this paper. * * * Bald is the new hair. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2014, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/64 "2014-11-08T04:48:16Z")
## The most recent gems: Bald is the new hair. I was scared like a chicken in an oven. I felt like a piece of raw meat being beaten with knowledge. What’s amazing to me is that I can cook myself now. I want to be someone with nollage. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2014, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/65 "2014-11-08T21:18:58Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > … > The future is one of the most terrifying things on this planet mainly bcuz it do not exist yet and we live in it at the same time. > … Oh, that’s sort of cute. 🙂 However, if this is someone applying to a college, no, not good. :eek: 7 years old? Fine. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2014, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/66 "2014-11-09T00:34:14Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > ## The most recent gems: > > Bald is the new hair. … This brilliantly cashes in on a current literary trend. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2014, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/67 "2014-11-09T01:22:45Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > ## The most recent gems: > > I felt like a piece of raw meat being beaten with knowledge. > > What’s amazing to me is that I can cook myself now. … Those are truly remarkable. But, having cooked oneself, how then to fetch the salt, seasonings _etc_? And how to go ahead with eating …? Oh, I give up thinking of it now. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2014, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/68 "2014-11-09T02:12:52Z")
The other evening my wife was worried that she wouldn’t be able to sleep after napping a lot earlier in the day. I told her “don’t worry, you’ll fall asleep when you aren’t looking”. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2014, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/69 "2014-11-09T02:30:56Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > I felt like a piece of raw meat being beaten with knowledge. Boy have I ever been doing it wrong! ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2014, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/70 "2014-11-09T03:50:19Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > ## The most recent gems: > > I want to be someone with nollage. Ha ha, this reminds me of a rant I posted on my long-ago MySpace blog, wherein I lambasted google for coming up with the lame word “knol,” meaning (to them) "an individual unit of knowledge. first of all, there’s no such thing, because knowledge is a collective term; and besides I said, they just called it that because they wanted to be able to say “knol-age,” like “mile-age.” I see their concept has [gone defunct.](https://knol.google.com/) I hope it wasn’t me! > [@Celyn](#): > > But, having cooked oneself, how then to fetch the salt, seasonings _etc_? And how to go ahead with eating …? The secret is to just cook yourself _ **a little at a time.** _ ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2014, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/71 "2014-11-09T13:29:03Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > The most recent gems: > … > > I want to be someone with nollage. I think I have another BW entry: I went to collage to get some nollage. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2014, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/72 "2014-11-09T22:24:22Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > I want to be someone with nollage. Well, at least he knows he needs to learn. ---
**Author:** ![ricksummon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ricksummon/32/3333_2.png) [@ricksummon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricksummon)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2014, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/73 "2014-11-09T23:07:37Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > Here are the latest: > I disagree with Hitler’s actions and the way he abused his power but I am thankful for the great amount of history he created for us to learn. Yes! Thanks to great leaders such as Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, and Fascist Movement, the world is… _full_ of history! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/74 "2014-11-13T17:12:16Z")
Two more from yesterday: ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ The line moved so slow, like an old lady taking a walk after dinner. _Nice simile!_ When Martin Luther King gave his speech, it was such a crucial time with all the slavery going on, especially if you were black. _Yeeeahhh…No._ ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/75 "2014-11-13T18:50:52Z")
The language isn’t so bad. The history, well … ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2014, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/76 "2014-12-04T22:46:02Z")
## The newest: I honestly believe that if any Mexican restaurant does not offer Orange Bang as a selection, their food will not be up to par. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/77 "2014-12-05T06:43:50Z")
That. Is. Priceless. Not least because it’s actually the triumverate of Horchata, Jamaica, and Tamarindo that establishes the baseline to which the writer refers. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/78 "2014-12-05T21:22:23Z")
One hardly knows whether to laugh or cry… > **[Shit My Students Write](https://shitmystudentswrite.tumblr.com/)** > > Evidence of the true cost of educational funding cuts: a compendium of reports from the field ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/79 "2015-02-11T03:59:11Z")
## Three from today: I know I have a clearer understanding of how life is, though I’m not at all there. This church runs through my family. I read about the horofying events in the bible of armegodon and from that day forward I just fell in love with what could happen to us in the future. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736/80 "2015-02-11T04:03:00Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > This church runs through my family. Does this one count as cannibalism too? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-assessment-essay-gems/686736.md?page=5)