Well, it certainly sounds painful.
Hey - that one isn’t too bad 
I love these - especially the JFK and terrorism one.
Reminds me of my absolute all time favorite Bullwer Lytton entry (besides mine): Diarrhea runs in my family.
Yeah, you carry it in your jeans.
We had an essay come through last week that was littered with profanity, done in scrawled handwriting, and ended with these memorable words:
“Sorry so sloppy. I have gout.”
Haha!
I always enjoy this thread. 
And two more:
I want to influence the world around me and make it a better place by becoming the Jesus of today’s time (figuratively speaking, of course).
One of my favorite stories involves a high school girl that goes through depression and ends up killing herself.
I am very impressed by the choice of figuratively over literally.
Not a test answer, but an excuse note from a parent- “Please excuse my daughter from school for last week, as she had chickenpox. She wanted to come take her testes.”
I know this is off-topic, but this statement just got me wondering. I’m not a Christian; however if I understand it correctly, Jesus is considered a saviour because formerly there was not much latitude with sinning – you screwed up, you were damned. His death by crucifixion is believed to have been an atonement by proxy for everyone else’s otherwise cardinal sins.
That critical function having been taken care of, and the gospel of Christianity being more or less readily available to everyone everywhere – what would there be for “the Jesus of today’s time” to do?
Don’t get me wrong – it’s a nice, gentle statement and I have no problem with it ideologically. I just wonder what that aspiration would entail.
There is a school essay assignment joke in Asia:
Teacher gives students an assignment to write an essay in English. One student writes:
(in English): Once upon a time, a person met another person. He asked him, “Do you speak Chinese?” The other person replied, “Yes.”*
The rest of the essay - a conversation between the two people - is written in Chinese.
I like to look at these from time to time, but this popped out at me:
Agreed. That is one of the better similes I’ve seen since, “I’m outta here like an Italian Cruise Ship captain.”
Nowadays, I would think electrocution or lethal injection.
I find some of these disturbingly profound.
Or
Others, perhaps less so -
I’m familiar with that historian’s work, and the author is right. This worries me.
Regards,
Shodan
I’m going to need more context than this. For all we know, the student was writing about the American Civil War.
Sadly, my first thought was, “That student’s making things up - Ibid was Greek.”
I blame Terry Pratchett.
No no - Ibid wrote A Doll’s House.
Regards,
Shodan
The newest one:
In life I have a passion that I am more passionate about than most of my life’s passions. My passion is music….It is my life’s most passionate passion.
I wish I had a most passionate passion, or even a passionate passion. These days even my passions are sadly apathetic. 