# The latest tragic wave of drug-related crime: Cheese theft **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 30, 2004, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851 "2004-09-30T14:50:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/1 "2004-09-30T14:50:31Z")
Quoth [CBC St. John’s](http://stjohns.cbc.ca/regional/servlet/View?filename=nf_cheese_20040930): > [@](#): > > ST. JOHN’S — Police in St. John’s say drug abusers trying to pay for their habits has led to a thriving black market for cheese. > > The Royal Newfoundland Constabulary says stealing and reselling food from supermarkets and other stores to support addictions is becoming quite common. > > [snip] > > Staff Sgt. June Layden says [a thief] was holding a number of blocks of cheese when police arrested him > > “Right now we believe it was between 12 and 16 blocks, quite a quantity of cheese,” she says. > > [snip] > > Layden says cheese theft is a growing problem in this province — and that the people stealing it need quick money to buy drugs like OxyContin. When not even your Muenster is safe, the terrorists have already won. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/2 "2004-09-30T15:10:50Z")
I’m sure Wallace would have a thing or two to say about this: “Well, I never, Gromit! We’ve got to keep our cheese supply out of the hands of the rabble, right? Are we out of Winsleydale?” ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/3 "2004-09-30T15:27:03Z")
It might be **hip onion** , trying to pay for his SDMB subscription. (See [this thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=278043)) ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/4 "2004-09-30T15:47:03Z")
No _whey!_ ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/5 "2004-09-30T15:55:47Z")
That’s just grate. ---
**Author:** ![haardvark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@haardvark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/haardvark)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/6 "2004-09-30T15:58:42Z")
Well, that’s edam shame. Gouda for the police in catching on to this nefarious plot. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/7 "2004-09-30T16:05:29Z")
What kind of a muenster would _do_ such a thing? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/8 "2004-09-30T16:19:17Z")
I wonder if the entire state of Wisconsin is on red alert now? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/9 "2004-09-30T16:22:13Z")
> [@haardvark](#): > > Well, that’s edam shame. Gouda for the police in catching on to this nefarious plot. They’ll charge them with Brie chof the peace. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/10 "2004-09-30T16:27:30Z")
Perhaps they should have kept their cheese in a Swiss account. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/11 "2004-09-30T16:33:51Z")
Well, whoever gives the cops a good tip could be credited with a feta accompli. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/12 "2004-09-30T16:43:06Z")
Hey, who fenced the frommage? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/13 "2004-09-30T16:50:45Z")
I would think the cops would have to arrest quite a few cheese thieves. It’d be hard to provalone cheese theft is cause for a nationwide alert. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/14 "2004-09-30T18:20:09Z")
A few years ago a gentleman from Wisconsin was caught with a box of products used to cure cheese he had procured from a warehouse he broke into. Yes ladies and gentleman, you are guessing correctly. He was caught with a box of rennet. A box full of cow’s assholes. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/15 "2004-09-30T18:21:20Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > …is cause for a nationwide alert. Code bleu? ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/16 "2004-09-30T18:24:24Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > I would think the cops would have to arrest quite a few cheese thieves. It’d be hard to provalone cheese theft is cause for a nationwide alert. Who do I see about ordering a “squirts liquid on the computer screen” smiley? ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/17 "2004-09-30T18:25:15Z")
The Wisconsin state motto: “Smell our dairy air.” ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/18 "2004-09-30T18:28:42Z")
The problem is that the police don’t know Jack about cheese. The snitches just String them along Tillamook clues them in. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/19 "2004-09-30T18:32:42Z")
"1967, I’m on stage at the Fillmore East. Jimmy Hendrix is backstage throwing up, Mama Cass is stirring a pot of her famous “Spegetti Pie”, Janice Joplin is washing dishes & throwing up, and then the cops burst in. As I’m trying to get out the back door this girl with a glass eye … " _sometime later_ “… My Guitar is on _fire_! I’ve been up all night shooting cheeseballs. That’s cocaine and cheese. When I woke up the next morning I was in a Russian prison, total set-up.” - Captain Ed, Tenacious D Show But seriously, if I were a judge, I’d punish these cheddar thieves rather sharply. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851/20 "2004-09-30T18:38:12Z")
I knew a dude in Monterey. Jack was his name. He’d Stiltons of cheese. Better lock it up, Leicester thief like him take it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-latest-tragic-wave-of-drug-related-crime-cheese-theft/266851.md?page=2)