# The Laws of the Internet **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 30, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252 "2003-03-30T19:04:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/1 "2003-03-30T19:04:29Z")
Inspired by **GMRyujin** ’s Internet Law in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=173199) thread i thought it was about time we established the Laws of the Internet. so far we have: Law #175: _“Someone out there is even geekier than you. So don’t feel too bad.”_ #176: _“You will always get a porn pop up when your girlfriend is behind you.”_ so kicking off with… #1: _“If you google, they will come.”_ any other suggestions? ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/2 "2003-03-30T19:09:45Z")
#27: _The Google seach result that looks most promising will be a 404 when you click it._ ---
**Author:** ![Kaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/fbc32d/32.png) [@Kaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaf)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/3 "2003-03-30T19:16:36Z")
#32: _There is always someone reading what you just wrote who is smarter and knows more about that than you do._ ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/4 "2003-03-30T19:20:34Z")
#485 : _Garbage in, website out._ ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/5 "2003-03-30T19:22:11Z")
#36: Unsubscribing just gets you more ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/6 "2003-03-30T19:31:57Z")
# 33. There isn’t a sexual activity so obscure that there isn’t a website dedicated to it. #34. A fool gets an internet account every minute. The first thing he does is visit a site with endless popups, finally buying the product on the last popup. The second thing he does is visit his email account and buy something from the first spammer to find his account. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/7 "2003-03-30T19:36:53Z")
#89a. There’s nothing so stupid that someone won’t believe it. #89b. There’s nothing so perverted that someone won’t get off on it. #89c. There’s nothing so tasteless that someone won’t make a joke about it. #89d. There’s nothing so stupid that someone won’t have done it. ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/8 "2003-03-30T19:52:03Z")
_#59. Resist the urge to foward the latest “This is TRUE! It happened to my best friend’s second-cousin’s mother’s sister-in-law’s friend’s boyfriend!” email to everyone in your address book. It is not true. If Bill Gates really were tracking email and giving away money/the USPS was really going to start charging a surcharge to send emails/thieves were knocking people out in parking lots with ether-filled perfume sample bottles, it would have been on the NEWS._ Pie is sacred. ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/9 "2003-03-30T19:53:30Z")
Bahahaha!! That “pie is sacred” part was not supposed to be in the above post. I hit submit instead of reply. But, I guess it’s true in a way…😃 ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/10 "2003-03-30T20:18:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Greywolf73 \* > **I hit submit instead of reply.** Then…what button…::anuerysm:: ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/11 "2003-03-30T20:20:26Z")
#78 - A high percentage of the “Search this site” boxes on web sites are purely decorational. #79 - SexyTina18 is actually FatBaldFred47. #80 - Red text on a black background automatically disqualifies a cite in a debate. #81 - Only suckers pay for porn. Everyone else uses the newsgroups. #82 - People who live in glass houses can and do throw rocks, but since technology is so amazing, they can just pick up their houses and run away before anyone can react. #83 - If you’re _still_ on AOL, that’s it. We give up. #84 - 90% of the sites on the Internet were created entirely with unregistered shareware. #85 - There’s probably a reason your boss’s start page is set as an obscure, spectacularly bad search engine with several pop-ups, but trying to figure it out would take more time than it’s worth. ---
**Author:** ![Shadez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Shadez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadez)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/12 "2003-03-30T20:32:45Z")
#127 the best page you want off the search engine is deep inside the site that forces you to go to their homepage first and find the page. #159 a watched mailbox never gets full. conversely, #160 an unattended mailbox busts at the seams after 2 days of a vacation. ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/13 "2003-03-30T20:35:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BuckleberryFerry \* > \*\*Then…what button…::anuerysm:: \*\* Gaaaah! I didn’t even notice that. I meant, I hit submit instead of preview. I don’t even know where “reply” came from. Bah. I blame the goofy weather today. Apparently, it has affected my ability to post to message boards coherently. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/14 "2003-03-30T21:13:25Z")
See, I knew that, but had to bust 'em on you. Funny, I make those sorts of mistakes withOUT weather. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/15 "2003-03-30T22:18:43Z")
#18: Websites will be blocked at work for no logical reason that you can tell. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/16 "2003-03-30T22:40:34Z")
#154: _The time to download anything is directly proportional to your need for it, and inversely proprotional to it’s actual usefulness._ ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/17 "2003-03-30T22:54:10Z")
#72: DON’T TYPE IN ALL CAPS!!! “Do you know how many internet etiquitte laws you’re breaking by typing in all caps like that, man? Well…you’re breaking one…don’t type in all caps…” ---
**Author:** ![Canadagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Canadagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadagirl)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/18 "2003-03-31T02:18:16Z")
_#479: When you finally find the link to the page/file you’re looking for, it’ll come up “Website not found”_ ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/19 "2003-03-31T02:24:35Z")
#212: _All your bookmarks will be dead links within 6 months._ ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252/20 "2003-03-31T02:39:09Z")
#666 _All your base are belong to us, and when come back, bring pie. Trust us._ ::waves to QED:: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-laws-of-the-internet/165252.md?page=2)