# The least erotic sexual fetish **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 28, 2008, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038 "2008-03-28T12:52:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/21 "2008-03-28T18:26:05Z")
What are _sploshing_ and _apotemnophilia_? Please don’t make me google it. I’m truly too frightened to. ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/22 "2008-03-28T18:27:51Z")
I have certain kinks I guess, but I just don’t get defecation, urination, or vomiting as being even a little bit arousing. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/23 "2008-03-28T18:32:42Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] I’ve heard of people with a fetish for amputees :eek: [/QUOTE] I once had a huge crush on an amputee, but it was hardly a fetish. I liked her for the body parts she still had. (As well as her sparkling personality.) Certain concerns came up, though. Like if I wanted to walk with her and hold her hand, I’d have to be to her right. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/24 "2008-03-28T18:50:18Z")
[QUOTE=GuanoLad] [suspension](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suspension_(body_modification)) (warning!! Horrifying pics!!). [/QUOTE] If somebody was rigged up that way, and the person in charge left the room without warning, leaving the dangling person to wonder if he or she was going to come back or not, could you say that that person was left… in suspense? ---
**Author:** ![3waygeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/e95f7d/32.png) [@3waygeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3waygeek)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/25 "2008-03-28T19:08:50Z")
[QUOTE=Qadgop the Mercotan] Arterial intercourse? [/QUOTE] Sounds like a more entertaining alternative to the angioplasty I had last week. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/26 "2008-03-28T19:15:58Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] If somebody was rigged up that way, and the person in charge left the room without warning, leaving the dangling person to wonder if he or she was going to come back or not, could you say that that person was left… in suspense? [/QUOTE] I’m curious about this too. Don’t leave me hanging! ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/27 "2008-03-28T19:57:55Z")
[QUOTE=The Chao Goes Mu] What are _sploshing_ and _apotemnophilia_? Please don’t make me google it. I’m truly too frightened to. [/QUOTE] Apotemnophilia (ap′ō-tem-nō′phāl′ē-ă) n. A paraphilia characterized by recurrent sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviour associated with having one of one’s own limbs (usually a leg) amputated. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/28 "2008-03-28T20:00:54Z")
A friend of mine was working on some website templates. For the demo he thought he’d mock up a site for a fetish that no one could possibly have… _everything_ he thought of already had sites, with dedicated afficianados. Boy did we feel naive and kinds sheltered. Really? Porn of people sneezing??? Check. For real? People who “love” their appliances. Check. I don’t get any of it. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/29 "2008-03-28T21:20:30Z")
As a foot fetishist, I am just feeling so clean and normal right now. It’s a nice feeling. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/30 "2008-03-28T21:23:17Z")
In all seriousness, that 24/7 master/slave dialectic thingy: not so much disturbing as _boring_. I’d get sick of the whole “I am the Master and you will obey me” bit after about 15 minutes: I want an equal, not a pet. Plus I think I’d get the giggles. ---
**Author:** ![SiouxChief](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@SiouxChief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiouxChief)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/31 "2008-03-28T21:33:49Z")
How about sex with a [picnic table?](http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/strange/news-article.aspx?storyid=105778) ---
**Author:** ![MrSquishy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9e5f3/32.png) [@MrSquishy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrSquishy)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/32 "2008-03-28T21:45:25Z")
[QUOTE=gwendee] A friend of mine was working on some website templates. For the demo he thought he’d mock up a site for a fetish that no one could possibly have… _everything_ he thought of already had sites, with dedicated afficianados. Boy did we feel naive and kinds sheltered. Really? Porn of people sneezing??? Check. For real? People who “love” their appliances. Check. I don’t get any of it. [/QUOTE] Good old [rule 34](http://xkcd.com/305/). ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/33 "2008-03-28T21:50:35Z")
[QUOTE=SiouxChief] How about sex with a [picnic table?](http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/strange/news-article.aspx?storyid=105778) [/QUOTE] > [@The Article](#): > > A man in central Ohio is accused of having sex with his picnic table. > > Police say the DVDs show Price involved in a sex act in his bedroom. He walks out to his deck, tilts the table on its side and has sex with it. > > Police say Price lives near an elementary school. > > He confirmed to police the incidents caught on the DVDs and said he had also had sex with the table inside the home. > > Price faces four counts of public indecency. He is free on a $20,000 bond. Why is this “public” indecency when it happened at his own home? How the fuck is living near an elementary school at all relevant to fucking a picnic table, besides fear-mongering? How the fuck is $20,000 bond (the bail would’ve presumably been $200,000) not excessive bail which is protected against by the 8th amendment? ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/34 "2008-03-28T22:12:09Z")
[QUOTE=Cisco] Why is this “public” indecency when it happened at his own home? How the fuck is living near an elementary school at all relevant to fucking a picnic table, besides fear-mongering? How the fuck is $20,000 bond (the bail would’ve presumably been $200,000) not excessive bail which is protected against by the 8th amendment? [/QUOTE] He’s having sex in his bedroom with the table, but more importantly, also on his deck. > [@](#): > > He walks out to his deck, tilts the table on its side and has sex with it. And besides, if the neighbor was able to videotape it that means people outside could see it, which is why his living next to an elementary school plays into question. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/35 "2008-03-28T22:15:10Z")
[QUOTE=RandMcnally] He’s having sex in his bedroom with the table, but more importantly, also on his deck. [/quote] I was thinking his backyard, like most modern suburban yards, was fenced in. > [@RandMcnally](#): > > And besides, if the neighbor was able to videotape it that means people outside could see it, which is why his living next to an elementary school plays into question. How did his neighbor videotape him in his bedroom? I thought he made the tapes and either gave them to his neighbor or his neighbor stole them. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/36 "2008-03-28T23:05:30Z")
[QUOTE=pravnik] Apotemnophilia (ap′ō-tem-nō′phāl′ē-ă) n. A paraphilia characterized by recurrent sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviour associated with having one of one’s own limbs (usually a leg) amputated. [/QUOTE] Not just a myth or a tall tale used to horrify the squeamish! [A New Way to Be Mad](http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200012/madness), December 2000 Atlantic Monthly, by Carl Elliott _The phenomenon is not as rare as one might think: healthy people deliberately setting out to rid themselves of one or more of their limbs, with or without a surgeon’s help._ There was also a case in 1998 in my part of the world: Philip Bondy (age 79) went to Tijuana to pay $10,000 to have his leg amputated by John Ronald Brown (age 77). John Brown was a California surgeon who last his license more than 20 years earlier for botched sex reassignment operations. After the operation, Mr. Bondy came back to San Diego to recover in a motel room, but died of gangrene. John Brown was found guilty of second-degree murder in 1999 and sentenced to 15 years to life. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/37 "2008-03-28T23:19:37Z")
Wasn’t there a woman who had a website several years ago about how she wanted to have both her arms amutated and replaced with “#5 Dorrance Hooks”? I seem to remember some discussion here about whether she was for real. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/38 "2008-03-28T23:23:44Z")
“Double below the elbow” - I remember that. I thought it was a joke. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/39 "2008-03-28T23:41:01Z")
2 girls, 1 cup. Does _anyone_ find that sexy? (Yes, I’m including the person filming / the people involved…) ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038/40 "2008-03-28T23:55:17Z")
I remember reading a story of this woman who wanted to be choked to death. Just as bad as the guy who tried to eat his own penis and voluntarily got eaten by some German guy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-least-erotic-sexual-fetish/443038.md?page=3)