# The length of the Needle **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [May 24, 2001, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-length-of-the-needle/66387 "2001-05-24T17:37:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2001, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-length-of-the-needle/66387/1 "2001-05-24T17:37:34Z")
For MessageBoard TroubleShooting Mavens: Obtained this on a newreply.php page: > [@](#): > > Warning: 1 is not a MySQL result index in admin/db\_mysql.php on line 82 > > Warning: Oops, php3\_SetCookie called after header has been sent in global.php on line 672 > > Warning: Oops, php3\_SetCookie called after header has been sent in global.php on line 673 > > Warning: The length of the needle must not be 0 in global.php on line 69 ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2001, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-length-of-the-needle/66387/2 "2001-05-24T21:13:40Z")
Well, a needle with a length of 0 would be rather hard to find in a haystack, now wouldn’t it? That’s how the server works, searching through a haystack for needles. Which explains a lot about the speed of the board. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2001, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-length-of-the-needle/66387/3 "2001-05-24T22:44:00Z")
Yeah it would [sub]Don’t mind me…I am just testing my subscript code[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-length-of-the-needle/66387/4 "2001-05-26T19:23:49Z")
How many angels can dance on a needle with a length of 0? Maybe this thread belongs in GD. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2001, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-length-of-the-needle/66387/5 "2001-05-27T03:14:32Z")
I did not know \that worked in here!\ ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2001, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-length-of-the-needle/66387/6 "2001-05-27T03:15:49Z")
Well, this [sub]then.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2001, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-length-of-the-needle/66387/7 "2001-05-27T03:17:34Z")
[sub]Hummmmmmm[/sub] maybe but, [sup]then again[/sup] maybe not…[yepper, did] ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-length-of-the-needle/66387/8 "2001-05-28T22:47:10Z")
I saw this on the same day. Now maybe my hubby won’t think I’m crazy. Then again… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-length-of-the-needle/66387/9 "2001-05-28T22:58:44Z")
> [@](#): > > How many angels can dance on a needle with a length of 0? Now, see, that’s exactly why the needle needs to be longer. As everyone knows, the Internet is powered by angels (well, OK, demons, but they’re just fallen angels), and if they’re not allowed to dance, they get ticked off, and stop working. C’mon, don’t tell me you’ve never heard of a mail spooler demon? ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2001, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-length-of-the-needle/66387/10 "2001-05-29T04:57:00Z")
Let’s think this through. Attempting to dance on a needle with a length of 0 would cause the angels so doing to fall, since there isn’t enough needle to hold them. As **Chronos** points out, fallen angels are demons. This means that causing a needle with a length of 0 actually _creates_demons, which is apparently what **AHunter3** and **Juliana** did. And demons are by definition evil. So… **AHunter3** and **Juliana** are two of the sources of Evil in the universe. In order to properly burn them at the stake we’ll need wood, gasoline, and, of course, two stakes. A bag of marshmallows and some longish sticks would be nice, too. ---
**Author:** ![Tazma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@Tazma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tazma)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2001, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-length-of-the-needle/66387/11 "2001-05-29T05:30:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MysterEcks \* > \*\*Let’s think this through…in order to properly burn them at the stake we’ll need wood, gasoline, and, of course, two stakes… \*\* …or maybe just a nice big haystack! ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2001, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-length-of-the-needle/66387/12 "2001-05-29T12:25:37Z")
Me, source of evil? Hey, I never _touched_ none of that global PHP, I swear!