# The lies we tell our kids **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 14, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493 "2013-07-14T17:49:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/21 "2013-07-15T02:16:24Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Mothers have eyes in the backs of their heads. > > I told my kids that ‘shut up’ was a swear word. I was also taught the “shut up” thing. It stuck harder than anything else ever did. To this day I’ll swear like a sailor but will only reserve “shut up” for when I’m being absolutely, completely serious that someone’s about to punch my rage button. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/22 "2013-07-15T02:42:24Z")
My daughter thinks that alcohol stops you growing. She’s terrified of it. Anything we don’t want to share has alcohol in it. Mmm, alcohol cake. ---
**Author:** ![Mathematics](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@Mathematics](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mathematics)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/23 "2013-07-15T04:36:56Z")
It wasn’t my parents, but one of my teachers told me that if you tell someone to shut up, it means you hate them. And my parents told me that when you say you hate someone, it means you want them to die. So I figured any time anyone told me to shut up, it meant they wanted me to die! ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/24 "2013-07-15T05:02:15Z")
My mother told me (and believed it, I think) that eating raw potatoes will give you worms and that eating too much salt makes your hair fall out. When I challenged her on that second one, she said, “Look at your father.” ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/25 "2013-07-15T18:36:42Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > I never heard any of that from my parents. That was stuff learned at school, from the bigger kids. Ditto, although my grandfathers tended to screw with me a little by telling me outlandish things that I knew were outlandish, and then keeping a straight face to see if I’d believe them. I think the gum one was one of the things they told me like that. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/26 "2013-07-15T18:45:27Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > The old adage about not swimming for an hour after you eat comes to mind. My husband truly believed this one until a few weeks ago when he was agast that our children were in the pool only moments after eating. I had to actually show him cites. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/27 "2013-07-15T18:58:15Z")
I only heard it recently, but I plan to tell the grandkids that pinecones are tree poop. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/28 "2013-07-15T19:39:35Z")
My godfather told me that eating my toast crust would “put hair on your chest.” I was a little girl, I didn’t want hair on my chest! ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/29 "2013-07-15T19:46:07Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#): > > My godfather told me that eating my toast crust would “put hair on your chest.” I was a little girl, I didn’t want hair on my chest! Grass doesn’t grow on a playground. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DrCube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@DrCube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrCube)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/30 "2013-07-15T21:46:47Z")
If you sit to close to the TV, your eyes will fry like bacon. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/31 "2013-07-15T21:59:05Z")
> [@Duckster](#): > > Grass doesn’t grow on a playground. > > 😃 :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![johnmont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a8b319/32.png) [@johnmont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnmont)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/32 "2013-07-15T22:01:58Z")
:rolleyes:You will shoot you’re eye out.Hey momma, seen any one eyed kids lately? ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/33 "2013-07-15T22:12:40Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I told my kids that ‘shut up’ was a swear word. When I was a kid in the early 60’s “shut up” was considered a swear word. When I was in first grade in 1967 the teacher was angry about all the noise. She made us all sit on the carpet and calmly said \*“I wish I wouldn’t have to say this, but SHUT UP!” \* We were all stunned!:eek: The teachers also told us that the fire alarms had a small vile of paint in them that would squirt your hand if you pulled it. So if you did a false alarm they would know who did it! The teachers tried to cure me of my left handedness! Our Dad told us the hippies were going to dump LSD in the water supply and make us all addicts. Is there such a thing as an acid addict?😕 My Ma told us when we were set to go on a field trip to the big city (Milwaukee) to the zoo or museum or something, not to go to the bathroom alone as black boys liked to hide in there are then attack white boys and cut their penis off. We were also told to look out for pieces of bread in the urinal as “the queers” liked to get them soaked with boys urine so they could take it home and bake it. The smell of baked urine in their house turned them on. Most of this is pretty fucked up! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/34 "2013-07-15T22:48:05Z")
> [@johnmont](#): > > :rolleyes:You will shoot you’re eye out.Hey momma, seen any one eyed kids lately? This was one of the ones Jennings addressed. And it turns out a lot of kids really do shoot their eyes out. The American Academy of Pediatrics keeps statistics on childhood injuries and says that about 22,000 children are injured each year in the United States by airguns - and about 7,000 of these are eye injuries. Obviously not all of these injuries cause the loss of an eye but it does show that this is a real concern. (The same source says an average of four children are killed by airguns each year.) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/35 "2013-07-15T23:44:01Z")
My mother used to tell me that the rainbow patterns that oil spots make on the road when it rains were where an angel had touched the ground. I don’t think there was any particular reason for saying it. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/36 "2013-07-16T00:54:57Z")
I told my kids I had bat ears and could hear anything. I really freaked them out when I yelled, “I heard that!” during logical breaks in conversation where they’d try to test me out. I can’t think of many lies my mom told me that aren’t noted here already. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/37 "2013-07-16T00:56:19Z")
I have _proudly_ told youngun’s about the [elephant](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083652/quotes?item=qt0418871) under the bed/chair. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/38 "2013-07-16T01:46:53Z")
I remember my father having a conversation with my niece when she was quite young about the cellar in his house. “Is it dark down there?” “Yes.” “Are there spiders down there?” “Yes.” “Are there…monkeys down there?” “Yes.” “What do the monkeys eat?” “Spiders.” ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/39 "2013-07-16T03:24:26Z")
> [@InternetLegend](#): > > My mother told me (and believed it, I think) that eating raw potatoes will give you worms and that eating too much salt makes your hair fall out. When I challenged her on that second one, she said, “Look at your father.” A tangent but one that always makes me laugh. My friends’ son was teasing his dad about being bald and his mom pipes up, “That’s from his head pounding against the headboard so much.” Son piped down. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493/40 "2013-07-16T03:56:42Z")
I’ve probably shared this before ('cause I only have, like, 12 childhood stories) but one of my dads once convinced me that cat food contained ground up cats. He was perfectly, nefariously logical about it, too. Walked me down the aisle with the cans of veggies. “See? What’s that picture?” “Carrots.” “And what’s inside?” “Carro----OHMIGOD!!!” Obviously, cat food contained cats, because there was a picture of cats on the can! :smack: I guess I should be grateful he didn’t take me down the baby food aisle. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lies-we-tell-our-kids/663493.md?page=3)